I feel a little bit better after writing this. Not much, but a little is better than nothing. Anyway, I don't have a problem with the idea of a sixth golden ticket. This is aimed at the Mary Sue's that keep harrassing poor Mr. Wonka. Enjoy!
The Blueberry Effect
She stood at the end of the row, bobbing up and down excitedly. She could believe she had found a golden ticket. Wait…. Yeah she could. She was perfect, of course she would get a golden ticket. But this was no ordinary golden ticket, it was a sixth golden ticket, which she obtained with her magical perfection powers. She reached up and began to twirl a lock of her perfect golden hair. She looked over at the others, who were all giving her odd looks. She waved at them and faced forward once more.
The gates swung open and they all rushed in. When they got close to the factory, a bunch of puppets started to sing and Mary Sue did the dumbest dance anyone had ever seen. When the puppets were done singing, and all on fire, they only heard one person clapping. Mary turned to see Willy Wonka standing next to her and she shouted, "Oh my god! You're Willy Wonka!" Willy jumped, "I think I'm deaf in my left ear now." Mary threw her arms around him. With some difficultly he managed to escape from her and he ran toward the door, "Let's get this tour over with!"
They stepped into the factory and everyone threw their coats on the floor. That is, everyone except Mary Sue, whose coat was to perfect to let on the floor. The walked down the hall, which shrunk as they walked, and stopped in front of a Barbie sized door. "Wow! That door is so hott. Just like you, Willy." Mary said in a loud, perfect voice. Willy forced a small smile and pushed the door open. "Chocolate!" Mary shouted when they walked in. "Yeah…" Willy said, starting to get annoyed. Everyone parted and Willy went to hide from the horrible girl people knew as Mary Sue.
"Augustus, my child, that is not a good thing you do!" Mrs. Gloop shouted to her fat child, who was eating out of the chocolate river. He fell in and got sucked up a pipe. An Oompa Loompa took Mrs. Gloop to find her son. Mary ran over to Willy, throwing her arms around his neck and giving him a kiss, "That kid was horrible. It's a good thing he's gone." "The kiss! It burns!" screamed Willy as he ran for the giant, pink boat that had just shown up. He sat in the back next to Charlie. Charlie saw Willy take out a pad of post it notes and a pen and scribble, 'Note to self: Take to therapist about violation by Mary Sue.'
After a quick rid down the river they got out at the Invention Room. While the others were looking around, Willy was plotting. 'How can I get rid of Mary Sue.' he thought, glancing around for an idea. His eyes landing on the Meal Chewing Gum machine. He smiled wickedly as he pulled the lever. When the stick of gum popped out, he grabbed it and approached Mary. He forced a big smile and said in a sweet voice, "Would you like some gum, Mary?" "If it was made by you, dear sweet Willy, of course I would." she said, snatching the stick of gum from him and cramming it into her perfect mouth.
"It's a special gum. It's a full three course dinner. I think you'll like the dessert best" Willy told her and added, "I know I will" under his breath. "Blueberry pie! I love blueberry pie because it's perfect like I am." Mary said, still chewing away. Little did Mary Sue know that she had begun turning a dark shade of blue. Willy backed up and Mary started to swell. Within about a minute Mary was a giant blueberry. "Willy, my dear, how could you do this to me?" she whined, "I thought you loved me." "Loved you? I'm terrified of you! Do you have any idea how much psychological damage your kind is doing to me?" Willy shouted up at her. Willy crouched down to talk to an Oompa Loompa, "Take Mary Sue to the Juicing Room. After your done with that, shove her down the garbage shoot, then make sure you throw her out of the factory. 'Kay?" The Oompa Loompa rolled Mary Sue out of the room. Willy turned to Violet, "Consider yourself lucky."
------Later that day; after the tour------
Willy laid on the couch, an Oompa Loompa in an arm chair next to him. "It was horrible," Willy said, "Like it always is. They think they can make me fall in love with them by being perfect. They all end up violating me in some way. Whether it's by kissing me or-" he shuddered "-doing other things." He sat up and looked at the Oompa Loompa, "When will it all end?" The Oompa Loompa took off he glasses and shrugged. Willy groaned and fell back down onto the couch.