He holds me close to him, even when he sleeps. He almost seem afraid that someone
is going to come and snatch me away.
And maybe someone is. Figurative speaking. Marissa.
I have not been able to sleep all night. I am worried. We have sleept togheter. And it
was perfect. Absolutly perfect. At least, thats what I think. But I can't help but wonder
how HE feels. Does he compare me to an ex? To Marissa? What if I fall short? The
more I think about it, the sureer I get. No one can compare to her. No one.
I wake him up and he smiles sleepily at me.
- Hello Beautiful he murmurs.
Did he say that to Marissa too?
Did he moan her name when he found his relase? Did he whisper sweet nothings in
her ear afterwards? Did he hold her close to him trough the night? Probably.
- What time is it? he ask and yawn.
- Half past seven.
-To early. To early to get up on a saturday. Go back to sleep. He shuts his eyes
and pulls me closer to him.
I pull away from him and sits up in the bed.
- What is it? I can hear the concern in his voice.
He sits up next to me and I can feel the worried look he gives me.
And I can't help myself. I have to know. For better or worse.
- Was she better then me?
- What are you talking about?
I hear that he has no idea what I am thinking about.
He tries to take my hand, but I don't let him. Instead I pull on my shirt and get up from
I can't hear the aswer sitting next to him. I just can't.
I starts pasing around the room.
- Better than me Ryan. Marissa?... Was she?... In bed. I mean...
I glance at him and he looks shocked.
- Are you asking if she was better in bed than you? He shakes his head. - I can't belive
you are asking me that. Not now.
- You can' t ?Ryan, it's Marissa we are talking about. Marissa. Your beautiful, sexy,
ex girlfriend. Who, most likely, was more axperienced than... than I was. I am not
stupid Ryan. I know how this works. You slept with her because you were attracted
to her. Because you loved her.
I go to the window and look out. It is a beautiful spring morning. And I feel like crying.
- And you slept with me because... because you pity me. And I don't... My voice breaks.
Suddenly he twirls me around and kiss me furiously. He push me up against the wall with
his hands on either side of my head, his body close to mine.
Just when I think I am going to faint, he stops and leans his forehead against mine. His
hands goes to my back and he pushes me against him.
- Don't ever think that I sleep with you out of pity. His voice is hoarse and he is breathing
- And don't ever, ever compare yourself to Marissa. She does not stand a chans
against you. She is a Barbie doll and you are a woman.You hear me?
I nod and he cups my face. His voice softens.
- I have fantasised about you since the day I met you.
- Really? I whisper. The thought that a guy fantasises about me is breathtaking. That
Ryan does it is almost unbelivable.
He smiles and kiss my nose.
- Really. Why do you think I can't control any of my motor functions when I am around
you? I keep thinking about how you would look laying in my bed. Naked and with your
beautiful hair againt my pillow. And I was right. You look magnificent.
I can feel myself blush.
It feels strange to have a guy fantasise about you. Strange but good. Verry good.
So I get a little bolder and ask:
- So... I did something right last night then?
- Baby, you did everything right. Last night was amazing. His voice change. - And
you?... Was it okey for you?
Does he sound nervous? Is Ryan Atwood nervous? That is something new.
I put my arms around his neck and gives him a kiss.
- Amazing. Last night was amazing.
- Oh yeah? His eyes darken and he give me a sensuous kiss.
- Yeah. I can feel myself smile.
He lifts me up and carries me back to the bed..
And when he pulls the shirt over my head and let his hands wander over my body I don't
care about Marissa anymore. I don't care about anything else then Ryan and the way he
makes me feel.
And when he enters me I don't think at all.
Not until he finds his release. Not until he moans three simple words. Three simple words
that bring tears to my eyes and joy to my heart.
- I love you...
What did you think? Please RnR!