Everything I'm Not

"Speech"

'Thoughts'

Telepathy

((My Notes))

Ok, so I know I shouldn't be starting a new story, when I barely finished my old ones...but I couldn't help myself! Oh yeah, as in all of my other stories, Hiei is about Botan's height. He's not as tall as Kuwabara or Koenma...like somewhere between Yusuke and Kurama's height. Vague, I know but..you guys have imaginative minds right!

Chapter 1

Botan hummed to herself as she flew through the blue skies of ningenkai. She was wearing her traditional pink kimono, and her hair was tied up in it's normal ponytail, with the exception of a few blue strands that layed upon her face. Her legs hung loosely over her thin wooden oar. She flew through the air with such expertise, one would think she was born for flying. The woman had such a cheerful demeanor that nobody in their right mind would ever guess she was the Grim Reaper. Instead of being some ghostly figure in a black cloak with a psycthe, she was a bubbly woman who always had a smile on her face.

Koenma had given her the day off, so she decided to spend it with her friends. Botan had her own apartment, thanks to the Prince. Landing in a secluded spot, the blue haired deity got off her oar, and it dematerialized.

She first walked to Yusuke's house, hoping not to encounter a drunk Atsuko. With a knock on the door she waited for Yusuke to open the door with a grin and ask her how she's been doing, the same old routine. Instead a somber, cheerful Atsuko answered. "Oh, hello Botan. Yusuke's not here right now; he's probably at Keiko's."

"Thanks, I'll just be going then. Bye Atsuko-san." Botan stated as she left for Keiko's parents shop. To her misfortune, no one was there. At Kuwabara's house, neither Shizuru or Kuwabara was there. Lastly, Kurama was not home either. Hiei was definitely out of the question...he'd probably kill her for asking to spend the day with him. 'Hmm...I could go to visit Yukina and Genkai...I haven't seen them in ages...' Botan thought with a smile.

Deciding she should buy something to eat before she left for Genkai's, Botan bought some ice cream and sat near a bench right outside the deserted park. While in the middle of devouring one of her favorite meals, Botan heard a rustle in the trees. "Probably just a squirrel..." she spoke to herself as she continued eating.

A few moments later,she heard a loud thud behind her. Surprised, Botan dropped her ice cream to the ground and quickly ran into the park to see what it was. As she ran further into the park she stopped when she saw a black cloaked figure struggling to get up. 'Hiei..' Botan thought in shock as she quickly ran over to him.

"What on earth happened to you!" Botan asked him with concern seepinginto her features. "Let me be; I don't need you or anyone else to tend to me." Hiei answered harshly as he struggled to stand up.

"Hiei, you're hurt really badly...you should come back to my apartment. I can heal you." Botan persisted, knowing Hiei's stubborn nature. "Hn. Are you deaf onna? I said I can take care of myself. I'm not some weak little boy who constantly needs help from others," Hiei replied arrogantly.

"I know you're strong and can handle yourself, Hiei. But, I think it would be best if you let me help you this once. You look like you're losing a lot of blood, and those wounds can get infected! Would you rather end up dying than receiving help from a friend?" Botan asked trying to convince Hiei to come back with her. 'Friend? She considers me a friend...what a baka...I could care less what happens to her, and yet she stills cares about me' Hiei thought, ignoring Botan as he stood up shakily.

Despite the pounding of his head and the agony of his wounds, Hiei pressed on as if nothing happened. He took a few stepsbefore fatigue and weariness took over. Hiei crouched down in pain, and Botan ran up to him once again. "Hey, if you let me take care of you just this once, I'll never, ever bother you again!" Botan stated knowing that would catch Hiei's attention.

He looked up from his crouched position, at the deity beside him. 'Maybe I should just go. Then she'd finally shut up.' Hiei thought as he answered, "Fine onna, do whatever you want." Botan smiled sincerely as she mounted her oar and patted the space for Hiei to sit. Hesitantly, Hiei mounted her oar.

"It would be a good idea to hold on tight." Botan answered as, without a warning, she took off. The momentum was enough to push an already-weak Hiei off of the oar, but Hiei was able to grab onto Botan's waist before he met his unfortunate end. "Dammit onna, don't you know how to give a warning when you do something like that!" Hiei told her aggitated.

"I told you to hold on tight..." Botan blushed as she realized Hiei was gripping her waist. Trying to subdue the blush, Botan concentrated on flying to the apartment, and not about the Koorime's arms. Botan saw her apartment building coming into view. Her window was open as usual, and, deciding not to waste time, she flew right through the window and into the confines of her apartment.

They both got off of Botan's oar, and once again it vanished into thin air. "Take a seat on the couch Hiei. I'll be right back," Botan said as she walked into the bathroom to find her bandages and hydrogen peroxide.

Botan came back to find Hiei draped over her couch, unconscious. "Well, at least now I don't have to convince him to stay here and rest..." Botan said to herself as she walked over to the couch. With much effort she managed to get the cloak off of Hiei. 'Now I have to take his shirt off...' Botan thought with a blush. Even though she was tending to the wounds of her friend, she felt hesitant to do it. She almost felt nervous.

Botan straddled Hiei, with one leg on the floor and the other leg bended on the couch. She gripped the bottom of his shirt and with a tug she pulled it over his stomach, his chest, his shoulders, his arms, and finally his head.

On Hiei's chest there were a few deep slashes, from a demon's claws, no doubt. On his abdomen rested a few small bruises, and one deep wound, which kept on bleeding. After cleaning it with the peroxide, Botan placed the bandages over his wounds to try and stop the excessive bleeding. Thankfully, it worked.

The Deity would've tried to heal him with her White Magic, but after a long day of ferrying souls, she was exhausted as well. After all, she had used her spirit energy to move oar to different parts of the world. After a few hours of that, most ferry girls would be asleep by now. Botan was used to it however. Although her spirit energy was depleted for the time being, she still had the motivation to care for her friends.

Botan looked at the gem adorning Hiei's neck. It was a tear gem. "It's beautiful.." Botan said aloud, as she subconciously fingered it. It was about the size of a marble, and had an icy glow. 'Could this be Yukina's...or Hiei's? No, it looks different some how...' Then she remembered.

When a Koorime gives birth, she sheds a tear. When the tear gem is crystalized it is different from all the original ones. 'It's probably his mother's tear gem.' Botan smiled at the thought. At least he had something of his mother's to remember her by.

Botan sat down on the floor, beside the couch. She watched Hiei with sympathy in her eyes. 'What happened to him? Probably a Makai brawl...But why didn't he want my help? Doesn't he realize by now that he's part of the team and, as the team's assistant, that I will always be there to help? As a friend, I'll always be there to help as well...' Botan thought as she drifted off to sleep.

Hiei, on the other hand, had woken up while she was fingering the gem. He used the Jagan eye to tell what she was thinking and heard every one of her thoughts. 'Why is that onna so set on helping me? I could sense her weariness from the moment she stepped close to me. She should learn to tend to herself before tending to others,' Hiei thought before he drifted off to sleep.

A few hours later, Botan woke up. It was already dark, and the sky was blanketed with stars. Before she could even stand up, the commmunication mirror went off. She flipped it open to reveal Yusuke and Kuwabara.

"Hey Botan, we called you like a thousand times already! Whe-" Kuwabara started.

"-What the heck have you been doing with Hiei?" Yusuke asked as he cocked his head to the side. Botan blushed remembering Hiei was sleeping on the couch with no shirt on. Before she could answer, Hiei spoke.

"What does it look like?" Hiei asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world as he sat up on the couch. "Well, it looks like you two just had a one-on-one session, if you know what I mean!" Yusuke answered with his eyebrows raised. Botan's eyes widened as the blush deepend.

"N-no w-why would you even t-thing of something so, so-" Botan stammered.

"-Ludicrous." Hiei answered as he abruptly got up and put on his shirt. "Where are you going?" Botan asked as she stood up to face him. "I've got to do something." He answered without so much of a thanks.

"Well that was odd...," Botan thought as she absentmindedly clicked off the commnuication mirror. Her thoughts led her back to Hiei and the previous conversation. 'Sleeping with me isn't all that ludicrous...I mean Hiei is man-, well he's a demon and I'm a woman-, ferry girl. But what's so ludicrous about that? Odd, yes. But ludicrous? So we're opposites, but that doesn't mean we can't be together or anything. I-' Great. Now she sounded perverted and desperatley in love with Hiei. She quickly dismissed all thoughts of the subject.

She looked out the window and the thoughts of Hiei came back again. 'I wonder why he was in such a rush to leave?'