I'm so proud of myself. I got off my lazy butt, started writing a story, and was actually committed enough to finish it. Granted this is a really short story, but it's a small part of an even bigger story, and I'm still proud of myself for writing it. (Then I went and forgot my password and had to create a new account. Go Me!)
Now for warnings.clears throat WARNING: This is my first Naruto fanfic so I'm going to apologize in advance for any mistakes you might find. Second warning is that this oneshot is self edited so there might and probably are grammar and spelling mistakes. I'll try my best to keep these down to a minimum, but there's only so much the eyes of the author can catch.
Well that's it. Enjoy
Disclaimer: Hah! If I own Naruto I'd have a lot of NaruSaku/LeeSaku fans trying to kill me. --' It's so sad to think that one of my best friends would be among them.
"Happy Birthday, Sasuke!" Sasuke's brow twitched as the overly cheerful Kakashi presented him with a small box wrapped in blue paper and topped with a bright red bow.
"Kakashi-sensei," this was really too much. Even for him. "My birthday was weeks ago." And what a horrible birthday it had been. Dodging fan girls who'd camped out on his front lawn and then chased him all over Konoha proclaiming their love and forcing useless gifts on him. This year even included a few murderous guys who were tired of Sasuke 'getting all the girls.' That part hadn't been so bad. He got to relieve a little stress and help keep the hospitals in business. Then the chase was on again and he could have sworn that the number of girls after him had tripled since that morning. After being ambushed three times he finally sought sanctuary in Naruto's apartment. It was the perfect hiding place as no girl would dare go near it… Well no girl except Hinata and maybe Sakura on a few occasions. "You were at my birthday party. Why didn't you give this to me then?"
Naruto had, in fact thrown Sasuke a birthday party when the Uchiha had vaulted through his opened window and dived behind his couch in time to avoid a fourth ambush. It had been an extremely small party consisting of only three people besides the birthday boy and the host. In the end the little party had been almost enjoyable. It was an almost because towards the end Naruto started chasing him around the apartment demanding that Sasuke stand still so Naruto could give him his birthday licks; plus twenty for the road. Obviously that had been Naruto's real reason behind the hastily thrown party.
"Ah, but you see I was-"
"Liar." Sasuke deadpanned. He'd never yell it out like Naruto and Sakura did, but he wasn't going to stand there and listen to Kakashi's lies.
"You know I was going to tell the truth this time." Kakashi said, shoving his gift into the Uchiha prodigy's hands.
"No. You're going to burn in hell for all your lying." Sasuke fingered the package a little afraid to open it. Kakashi was notoriously famous for giving the one present people didn't want. "It isn't volume eight of Icha Icha Paradise, is it?"
"After you used Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu on the first seven volumes I bought you last year you think I'd waste money on buying you the eighth volume?" Kakashi asked looking extremely insulted.
"Oh." Sasuke mumbled hesitantly peeling off the wrapping paper. He was actually slightly disappointed that is wasn't Icha Icha Paradise. It was his own dirty little secret, but he had read and liked the first seven volumes. It was however a secret he was taking to his grave, especially with that rumor flying around that all strong male ninjas eventually turned into perverts. The stupid rumor was probably true. Just look at Kakashi and Jiraiya, and if Naruto's Sexy no Jutsu was any indication the fox boy was well on his way to becoming a pervert. Then there were people like Neji and Itachi. Long haired freaks. If they weren't gay Sasuke bet his kunai that they were closet perverts.
"Do you like it?" Kakashi's voice broke through his train of thought.
"Huh?" Sasuke blinked down at the opened box in his hands and then as carefully as he would had he been sticking his hand down a alligator's mouth he reached into the box and pulled out his gift. "Kakashi!"
"I take it, you like you like it very much." Kakashi smiled at his student behind his mask.
"What the hell is this!" Sasuke yelled thrusting the lacey, pink panties into Kakashi's face. "Why did you give me women's underwear!"
"They're not just women's underwear," the jounin sighed. "They're Sakura's underwear!" Sasuke choked.
"Exactly!" He was far too happy about this. "I gave her a pair of your boxer shorts, you know the black ones with fans shaped like hearts on them, and then I thought 'Why not do the same for Sasuke?'. I already have next year's presents planned out." He pulled out a camera. "Pictures of your crush during different parts of their day. What do you think -THUMP- Sasuke?" This was certainly an unexpected reaction Kakashi decided as he stared down at the unconscious chunnin. Sasuke laid spread-eagle, blood trailing from his nose and Sakura's panties clutched tightly in his hand.
April 15 next year
"Happy Birthday, Sakura!" Kakashi said joyously shoving a brightly wrapped gift into his only female student's hands.
"Kakashi-sensei," she said slowly so as to not let on how pissed off she was, "my birthday-"
"Was a few weeks ago, I know." Kakashi groaned tiredly. A vein twitched on Sakura's forehead. "Open it!" He urged, never taking notice of his student's rapidly climbing temper.
"I'm afraid to." She mumbled, her temper deflating like a popped balloon. Sasuke's boxer shorts last year had been frightening, though inner Sakura had been giddy, and she was scared that this year's gift would be Naruto's thong.
"It's not clothing." Sakura opened her mouth to speak. "And it has nothing to do with Icha Icha Paradise." Her mouth snapped shut and swallowing her fear she begin tearing off the wrapping paper.
"KAKASHI!" Sakura dropped her present as both student and teacher's head jerked in the direction of the scream.
"What did you do?" The pink haired konoichi whispered with mounting fear. Sasuke was tearing towards them, eyes red and spinning and the Chidori crackling in his hand.
"I'll have to get back to you on that." Kakashi smiled, giving the girl's head an absent pat before speeding away.
"Get back here, you lying pervert!" Sasuke shot pass her without a second glance.
"Glad Sasuke-kun isn't angry with me." She said with a relieved shudder as she knelt down to retrieve her fallen present. With it safely back in her hands Sakura ripped the last of the paper away and pried the open. "What the hell?" The box fell to the ground with a soft thud. "What the hell's the wrong that man!" In her trembling hands she held a photo album filled to the brim with pictures of one Uchiha Sasuke. "Hasn't he ever heard of too much of a good thing?" She screeched. First the boxers and now this! He really was a pervert. "Oh lord… This is-is cute!" All anger faded as she stared at the picture of Sasuke fast asleep. There are so many, Sakura thought flipping through the album. There was one of Sasuke training, one of him eating, one of him hitting Naruto over the head, one of him brushing his teeth with a hand down his shorts. "Eww." There were just some things a girl never needed to see her crush doing and scratching himself was one of them. "Gross." One of Sasuke picking his nose. "No more bathroom shots." One of him sitting on the toilet. "Kakashi-sensei." If her teammate hadn't killed him yet she would do the perverted jounin in herself.
One of Sasuke stepping out of the shower. THUMP. Of course, Sakura mused before blacked out from blood loss, she could buy her beloved teacher the entire Icha Icha series.
"Bastard!" Sasuke yelled, his fist slamming into the tree Kakashi had been standing in front of a mere second ago. "Hold still!"
"Like hell." Kakashi muttered to himself. "You do realize," he said while catching Sasuke's leg before his foot could make contact with his head, "that Sakura has opened her present by now."
Whew, believe it or not but this tiny thing took me nearly a week to write. Three days on paper and two days typing it. Ah, before I go I'd like to thank LittleLetty(and her totally awesome smut fic) and Twinbells(and her super cool doujinshi site) for giving me the inspiration for this little number.
Preview: The prize? Icha Icha Paradise the Movie, next installment, with thirty minutes deleted scenes not seen in theatres two months in advance for its movie premiere. The possible winners? Jiraiya and Kakashi. The bet? Who will lose their virginity first? Naruto or Sasuke? The problem? Jiraiya plays dirty. Save yourself Naruto! WARNING: There is NO Yaoi in this.
I'd say read and review, but then I'd feel like such a hypocrite. Time for me to get off my butt again and do something for the authors who give me inspiration.