Whatsername

AU Jess visits Rory before the wedding and before visiting Luke when he finally comes back from New York... I'm bad with summaries. I don't own the song "whatsername"

I walk down the familiar path, the one that I had walked many times before, except this time it seems longer. A lot darker... a lot spookier. Something in the air's telling me, "you're a freaking idiot, go home, why the hell are you here? At Star's Hollow? You tried so hard to get away, and now...you're back? Because of her?"

And to tell you the truth, I really do feel like a freakin' idiot. I never used to chase girls. If they liked me, cool. They didn't like me, okay, nice, great. But what the hell happened? What suddenly switched in, what, not even a year? Did Rory really change my whole life? I find that hard to believe. Rory is... Rory. She doesn't appear to have any life-changing qualities.

And yet, here I am, not even a block away from her house.

Thought I ran into you down on the street

But it turned out to only be a dream

I made a point to burn all of the photographs

She went away and then I took a different path

I remember the face but I can't recall the name

Now I wonder how whatsername has been

Okay, so maybe I've gone soft. What's the big deal?

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? I shake my head, smirking at myself, and begin to turn around. It was stupid. I shouldn't have come. She's probably off playing tonsil hockey with Dean anyway.

Dean.

DEAN.

DEAN.

Dean does not deserve her! Does he even know what to talk about with her? He probably likes talking about boy bands and bubblegum pop. No, Rory doesn't want a boy-band-bubble-gum-pop-boyfriend. Nope. Not at all.

And I turn back around, walking towards her house.

...So then, she wants a boyfriend like me. Well, of course, who wouldn't? ... What the hell? I've become one of those self-centered assholes who talk to their girlfriends about, well, themselves for an hour!

And I turn around again.

Seems that she disappeared without a trace,
Did she every marry old what's his face,
I made a point to burn all of the photographs,
She went away and then I took a different path,
I remember the face, But I can't recall the name,
Now I wonder how whatsername has been

I can't believe I came here. What the hell is wrong with me? Maybe I inhaled some of those posionous gas fumes. I was always told as a kid, "dont play near the gas fumes!" And what did I do? I got on a bus carrying loads of gas fumes. That's it, I'm high, and this is all a dream. So, when I get sober again, I'll be back in New York City, and all will be right with the world.

Okay, then again, it can't be perfect, because Rory isn't there.

Around I go.

But Rory doesn't make the world go round!

...Uh, well, at least she doesn't make it go full circle.

Oh no. I am not going to be another one of those boyfriends whose lives revolve around their girlfriends! I will not be whipped! JESS DOES NOT GET WHIPPED.

Remember, whatever,
It seems like forever ago,
Remember, whatever,
It seems like forever ago,
The regrets are useless,
In my mind,
She's in my head,
I must confess

Okay, you know what? I'll just say hi. A nice, meaningless hello. It will mean NOTHING, other then "Hi, I'm back, what's up?" Right. Okay. Good. That's the plan, then.

And my feet stay firmly planted on the ground.

I'm not scared of RORY. RORY. Kittens aren't even scared of Rory! Flies don't cringe when Rory moves her hand! And here I am. Immobile, in the middle of the street. Come on, Jess. I can see her house from here. It's right there. Right. There. And if I start moving now, maybe I can catch a glimpse of her, and then she'll smile, and then we can -

Shut. Up.

Whatever happened to the meaningless hello? I never said anything about a smile. Or a glimpse. Well, okay, a glimpse is in there obviously, but I didn't say anything about any secret little smiles. What is this? What the hell has gotten into me!

The regrets are useless,
In my mind,
She's in my head,
From so long ago

Okay. Back to that meaningless hello idea. I'm totally good. ...Totally? Okay, whatever, forget the whole 'totally' thing. I'm almost there. I'm so close. I can almost hear her voice, and... here I am.

Outside the kitchen window.

I'm about to tap lightly, as I see Rory by the sink, but then I look closer... Dean is there. Dean.

And in the darkest night,
If my memory serves me right,
I'll never turn back time
Forgetting you, but not the time

Maybe I should just visit Luke first. And on the way I can think about all the times I've embarrased myself tonight.

Author's Note: yeah. I hope I didn't butcher Jess's character. Hopefully ya'll liked it... Reviews, perhaps:)