Chapter 4: He's Baaaack
"Ok, time for a little break," I said after we had worked on my project for about an hour.
"Awesome," Jericho said happily, grabbing Stephanie's hand. "Come on, let's go...hang out." He quickly led her into a dark corner of the room.
"We're hungry. When are we gonna eat?" John asked me, rubbing his stomach.
"Now. Here," I said. I snapped my fingers once and some buffet tables appeared out of nowhere. They were covered in food and drinks. "Here's an all you can eat buffet," I said. I looked over at Kurt Angle, who had finally gotten up sometime during the last hour. He was sitting quietly in a chair. "I even got some milk for you, too, Kurt."
"For me? Milk?" Kurt asked, sudden tears sparking in his eyes. "Thank you sooooo much, TakerTakeMe!" He dived to the floor in front of me and threw his arms around my legs. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" he said, kissing my shoes.
"That's enough. You're welcome," I said, feeling kind of embarrassed by his actions. "Let me go."
"No, it's never going to be enough. I'm just so thankful for your gratitude!" Kurt cried. "Now I worship the ground you walk upon!"
"Kurt, please," I said, trying to keep my patience. I was one second away from summoning someone up that would handle my problem for me by kicking Kurt's ass. I really didn't want to do that, considering the damage I was sure Taker had done with that first chokeslam, but I didn't have much of a choice. Kurt was being annoyingly persistent.
"I love you, TakerTakeMe!" Kurt yelled, tears streaming down in his face. "Do you hear that, everybody? I love TakerTakeMe! She got me milk!" He started sobbing, grabbing my legs tighter. "She...got...me...milk!"
"Geez, it's not like she asked you to marry her," John said, eating a piece of chicken.
"I know," Batista agreed. "It's just milk."
"I'll never let you go," Kurt said to me, sighing happily and simultaneously hiccupping. He wiped his tears away and blew his nose on my jeans. "I love you."
That pissed me off to the highest level. He had the nerve to blow his nose on my jeans, and on top of that he had the audacity to insult me by telling me that he loved me. It was time to take action. It was time to call in my backup troops.
It was time for the Deadman to make an encore appearance.
I snapped my finger once, and just like that, Taker appeared in front of me. His shirt was off and his hair was down, dripping wet. He was wearing some baggy sweats and some shoes. He looked hotter than ever. Apparently, he was fresh out the shower.
"What am I doing back here?" Taker asked me. "I was back at the hotel setting up your room with candles and everything and then all of a sudden I'm here and..." His voice trailed off as he noticed Kurt holding on to my legs. "What the hell is up with him?" he asked me finally as all the other superstars watched, munching silently on food.
"See, I conjured up this food because everyone was getting hungry," I explained. "I made sure to get Kurt some milk because earlier he wanted some milk so bad, remember?"
"Yeah, that's why I slapped the hell out of him earlier," Taker said. He grinned in satisfaction when he thought of how great it had felt to make Kurt shut the hell up. He looked back at me. "So, go on. What happened?"
"He says he's sooooo thankful or whatever, but he won't let me go," I said, gesturing down at Kurt who was still holding on to my legs. "He says he loves me and he'll never let me go, and...and... He blew his nose on my jeans!"
"He blew his nose on your jeans?" Taker repeated. I nodded. "That's just disgusting!"
"I know! That's why I need you, Taker, to make him let me go," I said. "You're the only man who can do it."
"But you're the author of this story. You have the most power," Taker pointed out. "Why didn't you just make a casket appear out of thin air and drop on his head? Or better yet, why didn't you just kick his ass yourself?"
"Because you're so big and strong, and you look good kicking his ass. I just wanted you to do it for me. Will you?" I asked sweetly, batting my eyelashes and pouting at him.
"Of course," Taker replied. He smiled a little at me, then frowned as he looked down at Kurt. He grabbed Kurt by the head. "Get up, you bald-headed bastard," he ordered in a gruff voice. "Right. Now."
Kurt let me go, stood up, and turned to look up at Taker. "I thought you left the building," he said quietly.
"I came back," Taker said. "But that's not the point right now, prick. The point is you're messing with my girl."
"She's not yours. You're old enough to be her father!" Kurt pointed out.
"And? That's not important at all, that's not even a factor. That just means I have a lot of experience and I can teach her things that she doesn't know," Taker said. He looked at me. "Besides, I'm feeling anything but fatherly, looking at her right now."
"You'll be looked upon as a pedophile," Kurt pointed out.
"Touché," Taker said. An evil grin appeared on his face as he looked at Kurt. "But that doesn't matter right now, either."
"Then what really matters, Mr. Undertaker, sir?" Kurt asked sarcastically. I was surprised that Kurt was capable of such sarcasm.
"Just this," Taker said, punching him in the stomach. Kurt doubled over and in the blink of an eye, Taker had him set up for the Last Ride.
"You don't really want to do this, Taker," Kurt said.
"But TakerTakeMe wants me to do this," Taker said, winking at me. "And her wish is my command... Did I really just say that, or are you controlling my mouth, too?"
"I made you say it," I said, grinning at him.
"You know, I'd never say something like that if I had some control over my mouth," Taker pointed out. "TakerTakeMe's wish is my command... That actually sounds like something Baldy here would say."
"Just give him the Last Ride already!" I said impatiently.
"As you wish, master," Taker said, then gave Kurt the Last Ride, causing him to go through the floor again. I clapped happily as Taker stood tall before me.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I gushed.
"What can I say?" Taker asked with a smile. "For the second time, Kurt Angle has left the building..."
From below the floor, Kurt just groaned...
A/N: Ok, so weird chapter, huh? Kurt Angle really used to be a little pansy! But now the new Kurt Angle is so mean and intense... Nah, we don't need the new Kurt Angle in this story!