Author: Zalia Chimera
Summary: Ed doesn't think that they fit together anymore.
Notes: Mile spoilers for the end of the series.
Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or the characters.
It wasn't the burning, breathless, desperate moment of euphoria that his reunion with Al had been. That had been something for the brothers alone. Nor was it the tearful smiles and half-hearted threats he had received from Winry.
It could have been any normal meeting on any normal day except for the silence. Neither had spoken since they had met, not even the comfortable veil of insults that had always been there before. It was difficult to believe that they were anything more than acquaintances, and maybe they weren't anymore. Roy had held the door for him and Ed had let him. Ed had reached out to touch his hand, pulled away at the last moment and Roy had pretended that it hadn't happened.
It would have been easier if the silence had been tense or uncomfortable, at least then he had the option of argument which had always served him well in the past. The silence was just... silence. Empty, meaningless silence.
So Roy read his newspaper and sipped his coffee while Ed tapped his fingers against the table and stared out of the window.
He couldn't even reach out and just touch the man because he wasn't sure how this worked anymore. How on earth did one speak to a lover when you hadn't seen him in years... when you weren't even sure if the word 'lover' applied any more?
Roy shook his newspaper out and glanced sideways at him for a moment, before he closed his eyes and looked away again. The nervous action didn't fit him.
That was the problem. Ed didn't know if they fitted now. Roy didn't want reassurance anymore, and Ed didn't need comfort. Maybe they didn't need each other like they once had. It bothered him to know that if this ended now, it wouldn't tear his heart, like it would have before. It would hurt for a while, but not as desperately as he believed it should. Maybe that meant it wasn't worth it.
Ed sighed heavily. What was there for them really? They didn't fit together anymore. The scars on Ed's body and the harder lines of his face spoke of things that Roy couldn't even imagine, and the patch that covered half of Roy's face spoke of his own horrors. How could such a gap be reconciled?
He swallowed thickly and placed his hand on the seat next to Roy's, surreptitiously comparing the sizes of their palms. His were almost as big, as though he needed physical proof of their differences.
He stood and closed his eyes, preparing himself for an apology and wondering why, if it was the right thing, did it feel so hard?
Warmth wrapped around his hand and fingers twined with his own, tugging him back down into his seat. He opened his eyes to see Roy give him a tiny smile before turning back to his paper.
Ed looked at their joined hands and shifted a little closer to his lover.