A way out no more

By: potterfan2006

Carson was walking through one of the crew corridors when he noticed Rodney McKay standing out side on the nearest balcony. He noticed a shiny object in his hands. Carson being the doctor knew what it was immediately. It was a small knife about 12 inches long with a black leather handle with the engraving on it that said the way out is by your own hand. He noticed that Rodney had been crying but from what Carson did not know. He walked a little closer to get a better look at what is going on but he was careful to stay hidden in the shadows so he wold not startle Rodney. He got to as close as he could get and he could here Rodney talking to himself he was saying as his voice was breaking "now is the time this has to end." Carson watched as Rodney took off his watch and let it fall to the ground beside him. Then a thought flashed through Carson's mind. He knew what was going to happen next for it was what he had feared would happen. He knew if he did not stoop Rodney, Rodney would hurt himself. Carson rushed to Rodney's side and said, "Rodney lad stop what you are doing right now." Upon hearing this Rodney's head snapped up and he had a look that could be described as one have gotten his hand caught in the cookie Jar. He looked at Carson and then at the knife in his hand. Then back up at Carson. Rodney quickly picked up his watch and put it back on his arm. He then shoved his knife into his pocket and the stalked pasted Carson with Carson not so far behind. Rodney had not gotten more then three feet away. "Rodney STOP talk to me," he ordered. Carson emphasized the word stop by putting a strong hand on Rodney's shoulder effetely stoping Rodney in his tracks. Rodney did not turn around. "You have no idea what I have gone trough growing up. Now I blew up half a galaxy effectively killing millions and millions of people and loosing a very good friend and scientist in the same day," he explained. Rodney turned around so fast that Carson's hand flew off of Rodney's shoulder and almost smacking Rodney across the face he then continued. "Everybody here on Atlantis hates me. So if you have any sense of Justice you will let me die AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE," he ordered. Rodney started off softly and ended in a full-blown shout. Carson could see that Rodney was upset so.

"Son why don't you go talk to Kate Hightmyre she could help you through all of this," he insisted.

Rodney scoffed. "I am not going to talk to some shrink," he mumbled. Carson shook his head."Ok then talk to me," he insisted. Rodney knew that Carson was not going to let this matter drop so he sighed reluctantly.

"Ok but just not here," he mumbled.

Carson nodded his head in agreement and they headed off to Carson's office in silence. Once they reached his office Carson shut and locked the door so they could get some privacy. Carson then took a seat and motioned for Rodney to do the same. Rodney took a seat and prepared to tell the story of his life to a friend. He took a deep breath and started.


When I was 7 years old I lived in a perfect family or so I thought. One day when my mother was picking me and my sister up from school one of my sisters friends came out and told my mom that my sister was being raped by my father. I of course did not believe her because I loved my father and I knew he would do nothing like that. Boy was I wrong. That night after my mother sent me to bed I heard some police cars pull up in front of our house. So I snuck to the top of the stairs and sat down just in time to watch them come into the house and talk to my mom. I don't remember what they were talking about but what I do remember was when they handcuffed my father and the to police officers took him out of the house. I remember watching my sister break down into tears one of the first times that I ever saw that happen. That was the first

time that I turned to my blade.


Once Rodney finished the story he looked up at Carson and saw a shocked look on his face but that face slowly faded away into a soft smile. a reassuring hand reached out and grabbed for a trembling hand. "Rodney you took the fist step in healing and I will always be there for you to talk to if you need it," he assured him. Rodney chucked softly while pulling the knife out of his pocket and examined it.

"You know doc. This has been my friend for a long long time I can't imagine a life without it." Carson sat up.

"Aye lad you may be right but you have other friends now and because of them a life without the blade is possible," he commented.

- - - - - -

About 4 mounts passed and Rodney was standing on his favorite balcony looking into the endless blue ocean while holding his knife in his hand. When the door behind him slid open and he turned to acknowledge the person that came out, "Hi Carson well today is the day that I give up my oldest friend for good," he informed. Carson shook his head in agreement and watched as Rodney took one last look at the knife and then he held his hand out and dropped the knife blade first into the ocean and watched it fall. He stepped away from the balcony and turned to Carson. "Thanks for getting me through this," he told him. Carson leaned on the balcony with him and they just stared into the water and Carson knew that Rodney would be fine after all the best friends to have are the ones that won't hurt you.

The End

Note: I do not own Stargate Atlantis I just own the plot and as always read and review.