Just an idea I got while web surfing
Disclaimer- I don't own any of characters in this fic except for Jiopo
Bad Guy Traditons
In a void lit by purple light, a lone chunk of rock flaoted adrift. It was barren except for a tall, dark castle. Balls of light appeared on the grounds encircling the castle. Out of these spheres came various figures. Out of one came a young man man with long black hair, carrying a babbon pelt. He walked toward the castle and ran into a man with a black beard, wearing red and black robes and carrying a golden serpent staff.
" It's been a while Jafar." Said the man with the baboon pelt.
" Yes it has Naraku , five years I believe?" Asked Jafar.
" That sounds right." Said Naraku.
Suddenly a blue arm wrapped around both villian's shoulders.
" Hey Baboon, TowelHead! How are ya, how've ya been, you look good." Said a man with blue skin, blue fire for hair and wearing black robes.
" Just fine Hades." Said Jafar as he removed the Lord of the Dead's arm from his shoulder and making a face like he was touching something icky. Naraku glared at Hades.
" Touch me again, and I'll absorb you into my body." He threatened.
" Watch your language Naraku, someone might think you're gay." said a teenager wearing red and blue star earrings and a white cloak, while being followed by a giant fire creature. Naraku glared at the teen and causing him to smirk. "Unless of course you are." Naraku glared more.
" If I remember correctly Hao, you were BANISHED from the League of Villans."
" Yes, but I couldn't get into the League of Heroes, and I had to do SOMETHING to pass the time before my next reincarnation." Said Hao with a shrug.
" I don't know why you keep going back to that world, it's a lot more fun in the Underworld." Said a man covered from head to toe in bandages, wearing purple gloves and carrying a sword. A brown haired women wearing a red kimono was hanging on his arm.
" Shisho-sama was just voted Most Evil Villain of Hell." She said admiringly. Hao shook his head chuckling.
" There's more to life er death, then mindless killing and destruction, although it is fun."
" Like what? Saving a bunch of trees and bunnies?" An energy bolt landed in the middle of the group of baddies. They looked to see who threw it. A man with dark skin, red hair, and wearing black armor.
" We're comming Ganndorf." Said Hao. Hades rolled his eyes, literally.
" Jeez, after spending generations in a dimensional prison, you'd think the guy would be more patient." They all walked into the castle.
In the main hall was a large oval table were all kinds of bad guys were sitting, chatting, and fighting amongst each other.
" ORDER! The billionth gathering of the League of villians is now called to order!" Shouted a young man wearing dragon armor. The baddies continued fighting each other. The man sighed, transformed into a dragon and blew green fire across the room. Everyone stopped and looked at him. The dragon changed back.
" Now that I have your attention, the meeting will begin." He took his seat along with everyone else. " First one the list is, we have a new member to our estemed league." He turned to a boy with red hair, wearing a black jump suit and was currently picking his nose.
" Jack, show the new member in." He said.
" Aw, I have to do everything, why can't another minor villain do it?" The man transformed again and snarled in his face. Jack screamed a baby.
" Right away Chase." Another growl. " IIIII Mean Master Young!" The boy ran to a door and opened, in the door way was a boy with blonde hair, green eyes and was wearing red and black armor. He smirked.
" Hey guys what's up?" There were mumbles through out the room. " My name is Jiopo and I come from the 246th version of earth. I'm a corrupt bounty hunter and my hobbies are killing, stealing, maiming and saying jokes with horrible puns."
" Jiopo, are you versed in evil villian traditions?" asked Jafar.
" I was hopping to learn from the best. It's a dream come true to learn from such well fear villians."
" Flattery and charm, you have been studying." Said a man wearing black and orange armor. " I assume you know other mind games?"
" Yes Mr.Slade, I'm a big fan or your work."
" Jiopo, what do you do if you have many arch enemies?" asked Chase.
" Turn them against each other, or to the darkness. Both ways save me work and create more negitive energy."
" Yes, all hearts are meant to be consumed by utter darkness!" Said a tall man with long white hair, throwing up hsi hands dramatically.
" Simmer down Ansem." Said Hades.
" Sirs, there is something that puzzled me when I was working with corrupt cops."
" Yes?" asked various baddies.
" When kidnapping a damsel, why not just kill them instead going through all the trouble?"
" How else would you get a goody-goody hero to go on a long tedious journey, meant to kill him, to get her back?" Said Ganndorf.
" Wouldn't threatening the world do?" asked Jiopo.
" One would think so, but nothing makes them angry like kidnapping their girlfriends."
" Couldn't we just kill the hero directly?" askd Jiopo.
" No, because then their girlfriends would get pissed and beat the crap out of us." Said Hao.
" You mean the ones that are easily kidnapped?"
" Yes, you see, the kidnapping has the element of complete, so it's over before they can fight back. If we went after the heroes first, their girlfriends would be the ones coming after us."
" But what's the problem with that?" Jafar sighed and looked up.
" ah, to be young and ignorant again." demon with grey skin, red hair and a giant purple spider tatto on his chest spoke up next.
" The only ones capable of defeating a hero is his respective girlfriend, since we have a hard enough time fighting the hero, we'd get pumeled by the heroine." He said. He opened a viewing protal to show Jiopo what he meant. Yusuke getting slapped around by Keiko, Ranma sent flying by Akane, Zelda leading Link by the ear, Inuyasha 'Sat' by Kagome and Mario carrying a mountain of packages for Peach.
" No contest." Said Naraku.
" Over before it started." Said Ganndorf.
" SRO(Single room occupant)." Said Bowser.
" Death by mallet." Said a large group of professional kidnappers from Nermia.
" I don't understand." Said Jiopo. Chase put a hand on Jiopo's shoulder.
" You have much to learn about our ways, but we will teach you."
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