Summery: Just like the title says. How does Zelos fight with flowers? How do cards hurt? Why does Mithos wear bracelets (this will not be answered)? Why is there a light saber in Tales of Symphonia? What does Raine say when she attacks people?

Disclaimer: I don't own ToS if I did, Pikachu would make a Cameo. All I own is this weird story.

Warnings: If you don't like random stupidity, don't read this. This is stupid and has no plot. And makes no sense. I was bored, so I wrote this. Yes. There are random curses. So it's rated T for language. It will obviously get worse later on, so don't say this should be rated K+. And there are spoilers. If I don't update in a while, don't sue, I have school to go to. Yes, I was being lazy, and instead of doing an essay, I write this nonsense. STOP PROCRASTINATING!

How do Flowers Hurt?

"Light Spear Cannon!"

"Sometimes I wonder..." Sheena said aloud to herself.

"Wonder what, Sheena?" Lloyd asked, walking up to her. He shielded his eyes from the intense sunlight he was suffering.

"Hell Pyre!" Zelos screamed, attacking a random Slime.

Sheena sighed and pointed over to their teammate, with an questioning look on her face. "How does Zelos fight with a bouquet of flowers? I mean, since he got that Noble outfit, he always fights with them!"

Lloyd looked over at Zelos, who was doing random poses and saying: "I bid thee adieu...just kidding!"

"I don't know..." He shrugged, kicking the sand. Lloyd then got down on his knees, wrapped his arms around himself and started complaining. "But watching him fight is making me hot. We should head back to Triet."

Sheena shook her head and put her right hand over her eyes, like she was saluting someone. "No, it's not possible. How can flowers hurt anybody?"

Lloyd narrowed his eyes in annoyance and looked up at the Summoner. "Well, they are roses right?" When Sheena nodded, he simply rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers, "Well duh! The thorns!"

She rubbed her chin and nodded. "Yes, that would explain everything."

Lloyd looked back at the yellow sand and pointed at her: "The thing I wanna know is how you fight with a bunch of cards."

Sheena glared at him, obviously insulted by his ignorance. "There are not just cards. They're magically infused!"

"So basically they're just playing cards."

"Victory Light Spear!" Zelos yelled, attacking a random Bat.

"No! They're magically infused!"

"Magically infused my ass." Lloyd said, yawning.

"Ok, smart ass, how does Genis fight with his Kendama?"

"How the hell should I know?" He answered back, standing up.

Sheena gave him a powerful backhand, which sent the Swordsman flying into the failed Chosen of Tethe'alla.

"Double Demon...what the-not the face!" The red head screamed, falling onto a scorpion's stinger.

Lloyd got up and dusted himself off. "That leads me to another question. Why the hell do you say 'not the face'? I hit your stomach!"

Zelos groaned and rolled away. "Ah. My precious back." He murmured, laying face down on the sand.

Sheena clapped her hands together and pointed at Lloyd. "That's what you get!" She sauntered back to Triet. "Never question my integri-tah."

Lloyd looked back at Zelos, who was still on the floor. "Ugh, First Aid." The angel said, standing up. He pointed at the scorpion. "Now you're gonna pay! Burn! Eruption!"

Lloyd watched as the scorpion screamed and sizzled. "Hey, now I have some lunch to eat." He joked.

"That wasn't funny." Zelos muttered, pointing his flowers at him.

"Say, how do flowers hurt? It seems pathetic."

Zelos grinned evilly. "You wanna see?"

"Yeah!" Zelos snaked over to him and shoved the bouquet in his face.

"Ah! My eyes!"

"Feel the pain of these inferior thorns, as your eyes burn in hell!" Zelos hollered, slowing moving away like a snake.


Well, that made no sense whatsoever. But it was always a question I always wanted to ask. shrugs Yes, this wasn't detailed, and it wasn't really funny. But I don't care. Please R and R. And if you flame me, I'll laugh.

Thanks to a reviewer, I added the 'in hell' part.