Soul Fryerer

Summary: Zim finds out that he can fry someone's soul by mixing his cleaning chemicals with human's mind…chemicals, and Gir wants some cookies. And it just so happens that Dib walked onto their front door.

DC: I don't own Invader Zim

"This…meat! It can't be meat! It must be some sort of substance…of some sort!"

Zim poked his meat with his little spork. The meat seemed to jiggle and then stop. He set the spork down, and then looked around to see if anyone was watching him. No one was paying any attention, so he sniffed it.

"Doesn't anybody seem to notice that Zim is sniffing his food?" Dib stared at the meat-sniffing alien, paying no mind to his own food. "No one sniffs their food! Everyone can tell the food smells weird in the first place! Besides, he doesn't have a nose! How does he sniff it?"

"Shut it!" Someone yelled from across the cafeteria. "No one cares about your stupid stuff, Dib, you loser!"

Everyone started to laugh, and just so Zim didn't stand out, he stopped sniffing the meat, and laughed with the rest of the cafeteria. Dib just ignored them, and stared at Zim. Zim just gave him an evil smile and a wave.

The bell rang, and everyone was starting to leave for recess. Dib watched as Zim pulled out something from his pocket, and opened it up. Zim looked from left to right, then, with gloves, stuffed the meat in the container, and put it back into his pocket.

"YOU SEE?" Dib yelled throwing his spork, and pointing to Zim. "HE PUT THE MEAT IN HIS POCKET!"

No one was in the cafeteria. It was just Zim and himself. Zim smiled, and looked at Dib.

"You poor, worthless, human. You will not find out how I, Zim, will destroy your pathetic planet, Dib, but I will tell you this." Zim made sure no one was listening. Not even the deaf cafeteria lady. "I WILL DESTROY THIS PATHETIC PLANET!"

Zim then did his evil laughter. It stopped after a few moments. Zim coughed. "Yeah. So… See you later!"

He put his hands into his pockets, started to whistle, and left to go outside. Dib watched his archenemy walked out of the room. He let out a frustrated cry, and slammed his fist down into his potatoes. "I will find out!" Dib yelled. "And even if it's the last thing I do!"

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Zim walked into his house, and was greeted to books lying about, and papers strewn across everything. He took a good look around. With closer examination, he found out that the papers were actually printed off copies of recipes for desserts. Mainly cookies.

"Gir? Come here at this instant!"

Right when he yelled that, something exploded from the kitchen, and Gir came jumping out. He wore, what was, a white chef hat, and a white apron. Gir quickly threw off the burned clothing. "I wouldn't go in there if I was you!" He said. "Something blew up, and made the walls go black!"

"Gir clean up this mess, then meet me in the lab." Zim said, ignoring whatever Gir just said. He took off his disguise, and went toward the kitchen.

Gir grew red, and suddenly became serious. "Yes sir, on my way sir."

The kitchen was, in fact, black. Pots and pans were scattered across the floor, and something overflowing, and smelled nasty, was cooking on the stove. A piece of paper lay on the stove, and was slowly burning. Zim took his fire extinguisher and threw it at the paper. He was hoping the extinguisher would stop it from burning, like it said it would, if you used it right.

Well, what ever was mixed, in that pot made the fire extinguisher blow up, and make a hole through the wall.

"Gir!" Zim called. Gir came to his masters' side, glowing red again. "Clean up the kitchen, and fix the wall as well. We're supposed to look normal."

Gir gave a salute, and went back into the living room. Zim climbed into the trashcan, that somehow managed to stay up after the explosion, and went down into the lab. The trashcan was one of many ways to get down into his secret lab. No one really knows how many there are.

Zim dug into his pocket, which held the container containing the meat, and pulled it out. He set it on the table, and grabbed some gloves. He put on safety goggles, and slowly turned back to the container of meat.

He watched, for a moment, as the meat moved and flopped around a bit. He carefully picked up his tongs, and clamped it around the mutant meat. He slowly walked, with the meat far away from him, towards a tube.

He set the meat in the tube, closed it up, and watched as it slowly filled with a certain chemical that Zim liked to call, 'Cleansing Clean Stuff'.

"All done! I even washed the cupboards too!" Gir said, coming from one of the many entrances into the lab.

"Gir make note that this…meat…has a mind of it's own." Zim said, still watching for any signs of life coming from the meat. "I saw it move myself."

Gir saluted, then ran around in circles. Zim knew Gir wasn't doing anything, and just decided to ignore it. He lifted his goggles off his head to get a better look as the meat's tube filled up to the top.

Then all the sudden, the meat started to make the 'Cleansing' chemical sizzle. It grew too hot for the glass tube, and it shattered. The meat went flying. It hit Zim's face, making him fall to the ground.

"Ahh! GIR! GET IT OFF OF ME! IT BURNS…" Zim got back up, and picked the meat off his face. "This meat no longer burns me…"

He thought for a moment, while wiggling the meat in front of himself. Gir still ran in circles behind him, not giving a care to the world. Zim finally came to a conclusion, which, may I add, was of course not right.

"So the Cleansing Clean Stuff chemical reacted to its mind chemicals making its brain fry! No! Even better! Its soul must have been fried just like the chemicals!" Zim explained to no one.

Zim threw the, now lifeless, meat to the floor, and held up his hands in victory. "I have done it Gir! I, Zim, have found a new way to make all humans bow down to my power! Mixing the cleansing chemicals with the mind chemicals I have been able to fry the meat's soul!"

Gir stopped running. "Oooh! You should call it the Soul Fried!"

Zim shook his head. "No, Gir. It shall be called something menacing. Something so horrifying that all humans will fear it." He thought for a moment. "It shall be called the Soul Fryer…er… The Soul Fryerer! Yes! With a name like that everything, even the ground you are now standing on, will fear the name Zim!"

Zim did his evil laughter. But he was cut off short by a blinking red light, and a screen showing the front door to his home.

On his front door was, what looked like, a boy dressed horribly in a Girls Scout uniform. In his arms was a box of cookies.

Gir jumped up and down. "I want cookies! Cookies make my tummy go wow! Make the girly girl with cookies come here!"

"Gir that is not a girly girl. That is in fact, my archrival, Dib."

"I don't care!" Gir replied, still jumping. "I want those Cookies!"

"You will get the cookies, only if you bring me Dib." Zim said. "If you could do that, Gir, then you'd make your master very happy…and you'll get the stupid box of cookies."

Gir glowed red. "Yes sir!" He then turned back to being blue, and went upstairs through a tube.

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Dib, dressed as the horribly dressed Girl Scout, snickered at his own evil plan. He was going to dress as a girl scout, to get inside Zim's home/lab, and then take pictures with his mini camera, which was installed in his wristband.

"You know your plan will never work, stupid."

Dib turned to see his younger sister, Gaz. She was playing her video games, and following him around. Dib made hand movements to cut the 'Dib' talk. She rolled her eyes, and sat down on the sidewalk. Dib turned back to the door.

It opened, to reveal Gir dressed in his little green dog suit. Dib stared down at him, and cleared his voice. And in a horrible girl type voice, he said, "Hi. Would you like some cookies?"

"Are those real cookies?" Gir asked.

"Yes." Dib said, ignoring the fact that if he were a real Girl Scout, he'd be scared of a talking dog. "It's chocolate chip."

"Ooh, ooh my favorite!" Gir said. "Never could make that kind!"

Gir grabbed the cookies from Dib, and then slammed the door in his face. Dib stood there wondering what had gone wrong, when suddenly the ground slipped from under him. He fell through a trap door.

He hit the something hard, at the bottom, and was knocked out.

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When Dib woke up he was in a chair. His hands were tied down, as were his feet. His big head was also tied to the chair, and he also had an IV on the side of his head. The room was dark, and he couldn't see anything in front of him.

"Welcome, Dib, to the end of your miserable human life!"

"Zim!" Dib shouted into the darkness. "Where are you?"

"I'm over here."

Lights flickered on to reveal that Dib was deep into Zim's lab. Zim was standing a ways away from him, and Gir sat behind him, happily eating the cookies. There was a table, not to far away, with a few things on them.

"So. What do you think of my evil plan?" Zim asked.

"What do you mean?" Dib asked. "You haven't even told it to me yet."

Zim stepped up to Dib, and examined him. He saw the pink wristband, and tore it off. "Nice touch, but I see the camera in there, Dib!"

Dib tried to move, but the straps were holding him down.

"You can't escape. And so that you will know how you die, before you…die…" Zim said. "You are going to be injected by a lethal chemical, in which you will die a slow, hopefully hot death! The 'chemical' I will use, will mix in with your brain, and take your soul. I've tried it myself on another human." Zim lied. "I know how it works."

"What is this…thing called?" Dib asked. He was only a little scared.

"It is called the Soul Fryerer!" Zim replied.

"Fryerer? Why is there an extra 'e-r'?" Dib asked.

"It's the sound of death, Dib. I, Zim, will control everyone's souls!"

Zim laughed, and then became serious. He went to his table, and put on his goggles, and gloves. He then went to his computer, and switched the switch on.

The cleansing chemical went through the IV, and into Dib. Dib felt a pain surge through his body, and then he felt dizzy. Zim switched the switch back off, and then all went silent. Zim looked at him with an eager look in his eyes. "Well…is your soul gone yet?"

"What do you think?" Dib asked. "I'm still here."

"Well then…" Zim said. "I'll just put in twice the amount of chemicals."

"Wait!" Dib said. "Won't this kill me?"

"Yeah…" Zim said, his hand going towards the on switch again. "So…? That's what I intend to do."

Zim doubled it, then turned it on. Dib felt the pain, and then felt dizzy. Zim waited, and watched as Dib shook his head a little. "Soul still there?"

"Yes!" Dib said.

Zim tried it, doubling it up each time. Dib felt nothing but the pain, and the dizziness afterwards. After another ten minutes, Zim finally stopped. He took off his goggles and gloves. "Your free to go then." He said.

Dib gave Zim a weird look. "What about all that stuff you just put me through?"

Zim shrugged. "It was a failed experiment, so…I'm letting you go!"

Dib was sucked through a tube, after all the straps were taken off, and sent flying in the air, out of Zim's house, and landing on the sidewalk.

"Did you get the pictures?" Gaz asked.

"No…" Dib said, rubbing his back. "But I will! Mark my words…"

Gaz got up. "Loser." She said. Then left down the street.

Dib looked at Zim's house. He sighed, and got up. He had made yet another failed attempt to get Zim at what he does, and gained nothing from it. But he had to look on the bright side, he was still alive, and Zim didn't find a way to control the world. He just did everyone a favor.

"Ha! And I bet you didn't experiment on anyone else, Zim!" Dib yelled at Zim's house.

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Zim sat gloomily in his lab. The fried meat was sitting in the trash bin, along with all his other failed assignments. Gir was done with the cookies, and now was watching a monkey on TV.

"Gir, I don't think I'm going to tell anyone about this…Soul…Fryer…er…" Zim said.

"I like the monkey's! Monkey's are cool!" Gir replied.

Zim sighed, and rested his head in his hands. Nothing good came out of today. Well, except for the fact that Dib went through pain, and that he stopped him from ruining his ruined plans. This perked him up a little.

But only a little.

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Lala Rue here, and I had my try at a Invader Zim fanfic! Ooh I like it! Expecially the part where Zim was talking and going towards the on switch. Hopefully you like this fic!

Please Review too!

Love, La'Ruelia