Inuyasha meets Family Guy 11
AN: Important news: I, emotionalanime, am now changing my account name to CoWzInGrAsS. Please, Please, Please don't try to look for emotionalanime on searches! So anyway, I got an MP3 player the other day (I'm almost entirely inept at these kinds of things) and why is it that every piece of technology I get is a disappointment? I have probably had 13 CD players, 3 MP3 players, and been through 15 pairs of headphones. I have absolutely no luck. It is probably no help that I but all this stuff at Wal-Mart, but something has to work once in a while, doesn't it?
Enough whining from me, this chapter is all about video games, the Internet, and all that other technological stuff we know and love (or HATE).
It was a beautiful Saturday morning and the sun rose bright and gorgeous, the sky was blue and cast a serenade of clouds into the atmosphere (or some upbeat cripe like that…). But of course, the new PS2 game came out that morning and Chris, Inuyasha, Brian, and Peter had just camped outside the toy store, along with fifty or so other nerds, gamers, and Melee game addicts. Yes, the game was called Super Gangsta' G's Melee. The game consisted of several well-known video game characters in various video game settings. So who were the game characters? Sephiroth, Cloud, and Yuffie from Final Fantasy VII, Link, and Young Link from Legend of Zelda, Eirika, Ephraim, and Seth from Fire Emblem: the Sacred Stones, and the Gangsta bros. Themselves: Maurice and Larry plus many bonus characters.
"Okay, where at the front of the line now! All right!" Chris said, laughter ringing in his boyish voice.
"Um… I reserved the game under the name P. WeeHerman," Peter said to the man handing out the reserved copies.
"Okay, it's right here…. Mr. WeeHerman…" he said, handing the small box to Peter.
"P. WeeHerman…?" Brian asked as he brought out a lighter and a pack of smokes.
"I was drunk that night and I thought it would be funny, as a matter of fact I saw a lot of funny things that night," Peter said.
Peter walked along the streets that now seemed to be paved with bricks. The night air was cold and brisk on the back of his neck, yet he was too wasted to notice. Then, he saw a horse drawn carriage on the side of the road. A man was huddled over something.
"Hey buddy! What's up?" Peter asked. The man twitched and dropped the sharp pointy scalpel he was using. Scalpel? Why did he need that? In front of him lay a woman's dead body, on the ground next to him lay a pile of organs.
"Jack The Ripper! How have you been?" Peter asked.
"Peter, man I haven't seen you since college, so uh whacha doin'?" Jack answered.
"Nothing… Whatcha doin' yerself?" Peter asked drukenly.
"Oh this… uh I'm reading manga yeah… I'm not doing some sort of freaky murder involving a woman and her innards," Jack answered, his long cloak billowed in the chilling wind. He picked up the woman's legs like a book.
"Dude, you're reading it wrong, it goes right to left…" Peter said.
"Oh," Jack said as he flipped the woman's corpse over again. "I'm reading uh… D.N. Angel."
"Oh, that series is great really awesome. Well I have to go order a video game now, so if you'll excuse me…" Peter said. As the fat man turned away into the night, Jack the Ripper slipped into the shawdows of the early morning fog.
Flash back end.
"Wow Peter, that's real special of you," Brian said.
"Yeah I know, I was so lucky that night… Hey you're being mean aren't you!" Peter shouted. "Inuyasha! Brian's being mean!"
"Don't tattle!" Inuyasha shouted.
"Okay, but can I have a Rice Crispie treat?" asked Peter.
"No fattie, No!" Inuyasha said. "Wait, why do I care?"
"Oh hey, look at the time, the others must be dying the car with the windows rolled up. I forgot that it was over 100 degress today! Isn't that funny?" Peter said.
When they got to the car, they found that everyone was sweating to death. Except for Meg who was already dead.
"Aw, it's all gross!" Peter said, picking up Meg with two fingers. He held her body as far away from his body as he could.
Sesshomaru, Stewie, Shippo, and Miroku were on the computer. Since Sesshie-sama was the only one who had even basic Internet skills, he held the mouse in his hand.
"What are we looking for Sesshomaru?" asked Shippo, leaning onto the desk.
"Stewie asked me to look up something on the weakness of the Pentagon, must be some project for that blasted preschool he goes to."
Shippo and Miroku looked at Sesshomaru and decided to not say anything at all, for Stewie had given them the evil eye and moved his hand across his throat in a threatening nature.
"Alright… should I type in weaknesses of the Pentagon?" asked Sesshomaru.
"That sounds fine, but you might want to add 'evil plot' next to it," Stewie answered, in a casual tone of voice.
Miroku and Shippo exchanged suspicious looks.
"Okay, this sight looks good… destroying the Pentagon, White house, or other important government building for prepubescent terrorists…" Sesshomaru said, clearly not thinking about what he was saying.
"Oh, we can't get on this sight, we're not members of the Little Boys and Girls with Guns Society." Sesshomaru said, after he heard the loud beeping sound coming from the compute after he clicked the link.
"Blast! Very well, I shall find a way to harness this clubs information… by ordering their free information packet. Yes… I say… No, I don't want free information from their sponsors… yes, I'll wait 3-8 weeks for delivery… $1 shipping and handling… I say… all right I'm done now. Go about your business, and when the world is mine, I shall kill you will a beautiful bouquet of poisonous gas-emitting flowers, so you can die with a beautiful present wrapped in your cold, dead hands," Stewie said as he jumped down from Sesshomaru's lap.
"Alright then," Sesshomaru said as he continued to click around on the screen. Miroku and Shippo gave each other an evil glance.
"Hey Kagome, this weird dude keeps trying to IM me… he's starting to creep me out… should I block him?" Sango asked Kagome. She was just starting to use the Internet and was little more than inept at using the controls.
"What's he doing?" Kagome asked as she crossed the room and sat on the bed that Sango was currently propped up against.
"I said hi to him and he just started talking in some gibberish I have never read before! U4tejinhij4whhtiuehgtkio? What does that mean?" Sango asked.
"Oh, he's just using txt tlk, it's what people with limited character space, or limited time use instead of spelling things the way they are normally spelled. Sometimes, people just take out all vowels, other times they use abbreviations, and other times, they notice that letters actually sound like words, so they use phrases like 'RU there?' and 'Gr8'! Isn't culture fascinating?" Kagome said.
"It sure is Kagome, but what does u4tejinhij4whhtiuehgtkio mean? (by the way, this means absolutely NOTHING at all)
"I think he's trying to say Hi Miss. Sango, my name is Sean and I can do the Irish jig!" Kagome said.
"Are you sure?" Sango asked, not seeing how the string of code could possibly relate to folk dancing and leprechauns!
" Either that or he is saying 'Hi Sango, I am a 50 year old creepo depo and I live in my mother's basement and I'm coming to kill you. I … also enjoy ranch dressing…," Kagome deciphered. Sango hunched into a fetal position and cried, there was so much she had to learn about the Internet, it was all so overwhelming! She decided to block SunnyDayzCalifornia (if this is anyone's name, I'm sorry, I just thought it up!), even the name seemed dark and menacing. No! It had txt tlk of some form! There was a 'z' where there should have been an 's'! How mind bendingly horrible! That was it, forget learning the secret IM techniques! Sango was now going to become a crusader… a defender of Justice against IM and chatrooms! (Duh, duh, duh!)
"Hey Sesshie-san, whatcha doin'?" Miroku asked for the fifth time in ten minuets. The demon, who was busy downloading songs onto his I-pod and humming to the Fruits Basket theme song to himself was not too happy about being interrupted, or the fact the Shippo was eating his silvery locks of hair. This was the final straw! For too long now he pretended that they weren't worth his time, that they weren't worth his rage… but now… they accidentally deleted his favorite Kelly Clarkson track! That was IT!
"Miroku get your -bleep- carcass over here, you –bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeping- perv! I am so –bleeping- angry I could just start tire ironing you! My god, don't you run from me!" Sesshomaru shouted for a good 3 hours before he stopped slapping Miroku and Shippo. The monk and the fox demon had never seen such rage over an American Idol winner before. All they wanted to do was browse the wonderful Internet, maybe buy a DVD, read some wonderful fanfiction, read Sesshomaru's blog, and maybe even get a glimpse at some tantalizing women in the nude! But now, they were in bloody pulps on the ground.
"Look man, we're sorry, we didn't mean to honest! All we wanted to do was go shopping on E-bay, read the wonderful works of fanfiction, and look at your blog, and maybe even look at some p- po-," Miroku began.
"Poems, you really want to read my poems about death, blood, and murder!" Sesshie said with glee. Miroku and Shippo gave each other looks of suspicion, they didn't believe that the demon liked poetry, even if it was about death. Oh well, maybe they'd get a good glimpse of some bikini clad women if they paid attention.
"Who do you want to play as, Inuyasha?" Chris asked as he, Inuyasha, Peter and Stewie looked at the screen which displayed the Super Gansta' Brothers Melee.
"I'll play as Seth, he's pretty cool looking…," Inuyasha said.
"Okay, I'll play as Sephiroth…," Stewie said.
"Let's battle!" Inuyasha said.
Ten Minuets Later
"I win! I win!" Stewie said, gloating about as he looked upon the screen where Sephiroth was being given a trophy. "I whipped your furry bottom! Oh! Go Stewie, go Stewie!"
"Oh whatever!" Inuyasha pouted.
"Here Inuyasha, I'll help you," Chris said, standing behind the half-demon.
"Whatever, just don't get in my way…" Inuyasha said. The game began.
"Inuyasha! Inuyasha! Push X! Push X! For the love of God, Inuyasha Push X!" Chris cried, 3 seconds into the game.
"Shut up, you're annoying me!" Inuyasha said, he pushed the A button.
"You lose… Sucker!" the screen said as it showed an image of Seth falling off his horse into a bloody heap on the ground.
"What? You said you would help me! Prepare to meet your maker! Iron Reaver, Soul Reaper!" Inuyasha said, slashing toward Chris. Chris did a spectacular dodge on an invisible cloud.
"Huh?" Inuyasha said in shock, no mere twinkie licker could dodge the Iron Reaver, Soul Reaper!
"Inuyasha, you do not know the ways of the controller, come hither, and we shall go forth into the black abyss of the labyrinth called Super Gangsta Bros. Melee. We will begin your training… NOW!" Chris said. Inuyasha just sighed, why did he have to be surrounded by freaks…?
Coolieeeeeeeee: Lke foo'shizzle my mo'foing (insert random string of text here)
SangotheCrusader675: Stop! Evil spammer! I shall smite thee with my N00bAnihilator!
Coolieeeeeeeee: Ah! The non-txt tlk-ness! It burns my n00b brains, fo'shzzle!
SangotheCrusader675: That shall teach you to n00b up the forums!
"Sango, what are you doing?" Kagome asked.
"Why, I'm saving the world!" Sango replied in her most heroic voice.
"Are you playing Adventure Quest or something?" Kagome asked.
Is Kagome worthy of knowing my secret? Should she know that I'm the almighty righteous one? No! I must keep my identity a secret, forever anonymously known as SangotheCrusader675.
"Yes, I am playing adventure quest, yes," Sango said deviously.
"Well, alright but don't be too long, I have to check my emails."
"Alright, yes… alright."
"You okay, you seem unusually devious today," Kagome said.
"No I'm fine… yes… fine."
"Cuddly llamas make good friends, but cheese and pickles are my favorites instead! So goes my 21 page poem!" Sesshomaru said, concluding the end of the poetry session that Miroku and Shippo "insisted" on having.
"Sesshomaru, can we please go see some moderately attractive women in bathing suits, please?" Miroku pleaded.
"Well, if it's attractive you want, let me show you my own personal stash!" Sesshomaru said.
"Alright!" Miroku said, perking up at the thought of women in front of the camera.
"Take a look!" Sesshomaru said as he opened a file called "attractive".
"What the Barbera Streisand is this?" Miroku exclaimed.
In front of him lay not women, but dogs, wolfs, and foxes.
"Isn't it fantabulous!" Sesshie said.
"Yes it is Sesshomaru! It's so hot!" Shippo said.
"What is wrong with you people, oh my god I'm gonna go down to the convenience store and buy a Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition!" Miroku stormed out of the room.
"Inuyasha, your training is complete, you have learned the way of the controller, you can now beat the hard challenge setting on every character… with your eyes closed! I believe you are ready to face Stewie," Chris said as he floated in front of Inuyasha, who's shirt was torn.
Several Suspense-Building Minutes Later:
Inuyasha was dressed in his old anime clothes. He looked nice in red; red was the color of blood, the blood that was spilled in 3-D graphics in the games whenever he killed someone. He knew what he had to do.
"Are you ready to lose Inuyasha," Stewie said.
"I will destroy you, my opponent," Inuyasha answered like a karate master who had just come back from an extensive training session.
"I will of course choose Sephiroth," Stewie said.
"I shall choose Sephiroth as well," Inuyasha said.
"What! That's not fair!"
"Yes it is."
Sephiroth #1 (Stewie) fought and sliced, yet Sephiroth #2 (Inuyasha) was just too strong! The battle ended when Inuyasha gave a finishing blow on the resisting Sephiroth #1.
"I won, but it was a great game, my opponent," Inuyasha said honorably.
"No! I'm never going to play this game again! It's stupid! No, stupid Sephiroth!" Stewie cried as he ran up the stairs in a huff, but not before showing a rude gesture to the half-demon, who was quietly celebrating inside himself. He had won, his objective had been reached.
"Hey, Stewie's off, now I want to play against you Inuyasha," Peter said as he entered the room.
"Alright," Inuyasha said.
"Hmm, who should I pick, oh hey look, a new character! 'Hannaford Shopping Bag, I pick him," Peter said.
"What! A Hannaford Shopping Bag, what a lame idea for a character," Inuyasha said, forgetting all about his nobility.
"But these things are freakin' unbreakable!" Peter said.
Hannoford Shopping Bag had twice the Hit Points of Sephiroth, also it had amazing strength with special attacks like 'Swooping Suffocation' and "Hannoford Hippo Logo Toss'. It was clear who dominated the game.
"Oh! I won! In your face, Inuyasha!" Peter chanted.
"No, how could I have lost! Oh, this is such a stupid game!" Inuyasha pouted.
Thus ended Inuyasha's game-playing expireince.
"What! They deleted my account for spamming!" Sango yelled at the laptop. She had been all ready for another day of busting txt tlkrs and spammers, but now she was being called one. "SangotheCrusader675 is a hero, I should be getting medals for my work! Spam! Me? Never! This is soooooooo unfair!" Sango shouted. She was even wearing spandex, yes, spandex.
I wonder who reported me… Sango thought, before deciding to get a smoothie… yes a smoothie… (Liz, knock it off with the devious vocals!).
Across the hall was Kagome, she was typing a report when all of a sudden, she got an email. It read: Thanks so much 456kgm for reporting that big bad hacker, SangotheCrusader675! We'll never have to deal with her again, Spammers and N00bs can roam free again! Yrs trlly, spmmrs chat rooms.
"Muhahahhaha! No one can stop my reign of spamming!" Kagome laughed maniacally. She was about to start another rant when she heard Sango's voice call from downstairs.
"Kagome, want a smoothie?" she asked.
"Sure, that sounds great!" Kagome answered. "A smoothie… yes… a smoothie. Muhahahaha!" she laughed once more.
"What, did you say something?" Sango asked.
"No!" Kagome answered. Then she added in a whisper "you foolish mortal!"
"Did you say something?"
Fugerdudge that was a piece of cow manure! You think I that I would write something halfway decent after making you people wait this long! Oh well, can't be helped. Well, thanks for reading!