A/N: Some of these characters belong to Dick Wolf, and some belong to whoever their parents are. Unfortunately, none of them are mine. Enjoy! R&R
Detective Olivia Benson sat at her desk, staring blankly at her computer. Her partner approached her.
"Need a ride home, Liv?" Elliot asked.
"No. I'm fine. Really." The lights went out.
"Okay, that's a wrap people!"
Mariska Hargitay still stared at the computer in front of her.
"Oh my God! Have you seen this fanfiction?"
"Oh God, what is it this time?" Chris Meloni sighed.
"Just read it."
"What?" Richard Belzer started toward the computer. Before long most of the cast sat around the desk of Olivia Benson, pestering Hargitay to read the story.
"Fine." Mariska started. "Detective Elliot Stabler walked past his partner's desk without a glance. He didn't even notice me. Olivia Benson mumbled to herself.—"
"Not another one of those!" Ice-t groaned.
"Wait," Hargitay laughed, "It gets better." She started again. "Detective Stabler shyly approached the desk of detective John Munch."
"Shyly? What the hell kind of adverb is that?" Belzer scoffed.
"More important, why is Stabler 'shyly approaching the desk of detective John Munch'?" B.D. Wong queried.
Dan Florek rolled his eyes. "I see where this is going."
"Just let me read!" Hargitay continued. "Their eyes met for an instant. Elliot's heart thumped louder than he could ever remember."
"What? What does that mean? Do you think Elliot finally overdosed on coffee? Is he going to die?" Meloni shrieked, near tears.
"You'll just have to wait and see." Hargitay resumed reading. " 'H-Hi John.' Elliot muttered. 'Who are you thinking our perp is?' Great, El. That was romantic! Elliot scolded himself.
'Well, if you ask me…' Detective Munch went on one of his customary tirades, as Elliot stared at his dreamily."
"Stared at his dreamily? What's a dreamily? I'm beginning to doubt this person's fluency. What's the author's name?" Belzer asked.
"Um…it says the penname's MunchStabler Shipper." Hargitay answered.
"Is that Polish?" Florek inquired.
"Irish." Belzer speculated.
"Who cares about that? I think something's wrong with Elliot! Keep reading!" Melonie wailed.
Wondering why she'd started this, Hargitay continued. "Detective Munch looked quizzically at Elliot, who continued gazing at his dreamily."
"UGH! WHAT THE HELL'S A DREAMILY!"
"And why does Elliot keep staring at it?"
"It's probably a typo! Maybe they mean 'stared at him dreamily'!" Annoyed by the interruptions, Hargitay resumed. "Unable to restrain himself any longer, Elliot grabbed Munch's arm."
"Oh my God! He's going to die! He's trying to tell Munch to help him! Oh my God! MunchStabler Shipper is going to kill Elliot!" Meloni was near tears.
"Just let me finish! Where was I? Oh yeah. Astonished, but aroused, Munch indulged Elliot in a passionate kiss." Hargitay stopped and looked up, waiting for a reaction.
Dan Florek and B.D. Wong snickered. Ice-t got up and walked away, without a word.
Belzer and Meloni stared at one another. As Belzer made a desperate attempt to fathom what Hargitay had just read, he found himself at a loss. Meloni stared for a moment, then screamed like a young school girl and ran off the set.
Seeing no other way out of the situation, Richard Belzer began to break dance.
Mariska Hargitay looked at the damage this story had done. The damage she had done. She put her head down and sobbed until there were no tears left. Once her tear ducts were dry, seeing no other option, she did the salsa with Richard Belzer. There, amongst the shambles that their show had become, they danced. And it was beautiful.
So……what'd you think? Enjoy it? Despise it? Think it's completely and utterly bizarre? (Don't worry, me too.) I want to know! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!