Title: Now What? (3 of 3)
Fandom: Fruits Basket
Theme: #20 broken dreams
Pairing: Kyou and Kagura Sohma
Disclaimer: Fruits Basket and its characters belong to Natsuki Takaya and whoever else holds the copyright. No money is being made from this story it is merely being written for my entertainment.
Notes: This story takes place at least four to five years after the manga ends. This is pretty much the last chapter. I will likely add an epilogue later but this story arc is finished. This is the edited version of this chapter if you wish to read the MA rated version of this chapter you can go to livejournal community 30hugs or you can visit my Adultfanfiction account under the same penname.
Summary: Kyou and Kagura have to deal with the aftermath of what they have done.
She had taken her bath sobbing the entire time. What a way to start off the New Year, little bits and pieces of the previous night kept returning to her...tormenting her further. Finally Kagura came downstairs fully dressed, she could feel Kunimitsu's eyes on her but she just couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze.
"We need to talk," she said in a small whisper. She had hoped for a little more time but if he was already suspecting something it was better to come clean as soon as possible. He merely nodded at her words as he motioned for her to sit down at the table with him.
"What is it?" he asked, handing her a couple of aspirin.
She tried to smile as she took the aspirin but she was feeling absolutely miserable between the hang over and her guilt. She just knew she had to be showing it. The fact that he looked at her with eyes full of concern made it worse.
"Last night, I made a huge mistake. I'm not using this as a justification but I was very drunk and I allowed Kyou to walk me home. One thing lead to another and well…" she trailed off, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. "I woke up in bed with Kyou beside me. I don't remember much but I'm positive we did more than sleep," she confessed, her voice full of shame.
The silence was deafening. What was he thinking? She knew her words had to hurt him. She almost wished he would get angry and yell at her but he wasn't like that. Yeah they argued over things but he had far better control over his temper than she did. Something that until today she had considered a blessing.
She looked up at him with tearful pleading eyes. "Please forgive me," she sobbed. "I don't want to lose you."
"Do you mean that?" he asked, moving to kneel down beside her. She looked at him confusion clear in her eyes. "About not wanting to lose me, do you mean it?" he clarified.
"Yes, of course I do," she said wide-eyed. She did mean it. She had worked really hard to move on from her heartbreak. She had learned how to be a better person despite her failing love life and when she got involved with Kunimitsu all her past failed relationships seem to disappear. "I love you very much."
"What about Kyou, I overheard you two this morning? I think he wants you."
And there it was, he had known, the blood drained from her face upon hearing that admission. Did that mean he heard her tell Kyou that something was missing between them? She was too scared to ask because she didn't want him to ask her what the something was. In truth she didn't know what was missing between them. Dammit why did Kyou have to raise all these doubts in her? A mere 24 hours ago she was perfectly content with her life and with what she and Kunimitsu shared. A sudden feeling of anger swelled inside her; no way was she going to let Kyou destroy everything she built.
"Well I don't really care what he wants anymore!" she snapped.
Kunimitsu began smiling through his own falling tears. Her hands went to wipe the tears from his face. He kissed her hands and pulled her into a warm embrace before kissing her passionately. It took her a few moments but she relaxed in his arms and kissed him back.
It had been a few days since New Year's had passed; since Kyou had hugged her like he was feeling guilty…since she had smelled the scent of Kagura's perfume soaked into his clothes and his very skin. She didn't have the courage to confront him about her growing suspicions. Part of her wanted to believe it was all innocent. She wanted to believe it was her being paranoid, but the growing strain between Kyou and her; while Kagura was actively avoiding her didn't help the situation.
She didn't want to believe that Kyou would go astray but she had to admit that they had been slipping into a rut. She couldn't even remember the last time they had done anything special. While they were still intimate with each other that had also become routine lacking any kind of spontaneity or enthusiasm on their part. They hadn't been a couple that long so how could the fire go out? It was the thought that the fire had never been there that hurt her most. Her chest tightened as things became clearer. She had always thought they were passionate enough until she began to notice all the others around her. Arisa and Kureno were so loving…so devoted…so passionate that for the first time she began to doubt what she had with Kyou. She had figured she was just being silly and that all couples were different in the level of passion and connection but she saw Akito and Shigure as well as Rin and Haru, yes their relationships were different from each other but the level of intensity between them was nearly the same in all cases. Even Yuki and Machi seem to share something that she and Kyou were missing.
She had been raised to never give up, never surrender, so she had fooled herself into thinking that if she worked harder at their relationship everything would work itself out. She wasn't a confrontational person but she knew that this time she would have to confront him. There was just no other way. It wasn't just the possibility that he cheated on her, but the fact that their relationship was dying a slow death and neither one of them wanted to admit it.
By the time Kyou returned home for the evening Tohru was sitting alone by the table and she couldn't hide the sorrowful expression on her face.
"Kyou is there something you want to tell me?" she asked, hoping that the conversation she was about to initiate would be a beginning and not an end.
He looked crestfallen at her question and finally she could fully see the guilt in his eyes. Quickly he knelt down beside her and lightly grasped her hands.
"Tohru…" he stopped. She could see and feel the conflict within him. This wasn't going to be easy for either of them. It was time, and they both knew it.
"Kyou we're both adults here. We're not doting teenagers anymore we have to think about the future," she said softly. "Please, just tell me the truth." She braced herself for the worst.
He sighed heavily and looked away in shame. "That night at Kagura's we did more than sleep…" he started but stopped when Tohru quietly began to sob. "Kagura and I didn't intend for it to happen, it just did. I'm so sorry I never wanted to hurt you. Especially after the way I hurt you all those years ago."
"I know," she whispered. "Do you love her?" She had to know even if asking was slowly killing her inside. The silence that permeated the room spoke volumes. Something about Kyou and Kagura's friendship had always bothered her but she refused to acknowledge it. Deep down she knew that they shared a connection that could never be erased no matter how much time passed.
"I'm sorry," he said barely over a whisper.
She had always tried not to be selfish but Kyou had been the only thing…the only person that she had allowed herself that luxury. Just like she had to let go of the promise that she foolishly made to her mother when she was a girl she realized now that she would have to let him go. It wasn't that she still didn't love Kyou or wanted to give up on them on the contrary she wanted to work things out. She almost wanted to fight…almost being the key word. But, why fight for something when your entire heart isn't into it?
Softly she kissed his cheek and placed a comforting hand on his arm. "I'm sorry too." He met her gaze for the first time since telling her the truth and she knew from his expression that he got her meaning. It was the beginning all right, the beginning of the end.
Coming clean to Kunimitsu had been more painful then Kagura could have predicted. She never wanted to hurt him. The life that she had worked so hard to build after she picked up the pieces of her broken heart so long ago was tumbling down around her. Leaving her to ask over and over why now? How many times had she had too much drink at the New Year's party? Why did this have to be the time for her to make a foolish mistake? Kunimitsu was willing to forgive her but it would take a long time to repair all the damage that had been done.
Even though she had assured him that she wanted to be with him and didn't care how Kyou felt; things were already changing. Just the way she felt in Kunimitsu's arms didn't feel right anymore. Why should that be? She and Kyou had only spent one stupid night together and they had both been drunk! How could one night of drunken sex be more special than the love she and Kunimitsu shared? It aggravated her to no avail. What the hell kind of hold did Kyou have on her anyway?
Abruptly she slowed her pace once she saw Kazuma's dojo coming into view. Her anxiety rising as she got closer. She still didn't know why she agreed to meet with Kyou. Let alone at the Dojo, there were too many memories there, plus there were far too many suspicious eyes around for her taste. She already felt cheap! She certainly didn't need people whispering behind her back, making her feel worse. Quietly she walked into the yard of the dojo, repeatedly she told herself to be strong in her resolve. 'Don't be swayed, you've made up your mind,' she thought strongly but she lacked the confidence to really believe her own words.
"Kagura, you're here," Kyou said surprised. She looked over to see him walking toward her. "I thought you might have changed your mind about comi..."
"I almost did," she interjected, her tone completely icy.
She noticed him visibly flinched at her words. "Let's talk in private," he said pointing toward the house.
"Where's Shihan?" she asked, trying to hide her own discomfort.
"He won't be back until this evening. That's why I thought here would be a good place to talk about everything that has happened," he replied, leading her inside the house.
"So talk," Kagura demanded, not wanting to mix words. She just wanted this over and done.
"I know my timing stinks and circumstances could be far better but I realize that you're the person I want the most."
"What? Are you an idiot?" Kagura asked incredulously, turning away. "What about Tohru? I thought you two were happy!"
"No I'm not an idiot. For the first time in a long time I know exactly what I want. I'll always love Tohru. She's the one who opened my heart again but now that it is open," he paused. "It longs for you."
"Kyou, you're such a jerk! Do you really think I'm going to turn my life upside down because you suddenly had a change of heart? I'm happy with my life and it would be just idiotic to throw everything away over one night!" Kagura snapped angrily.
"Moron, do you really think I would throw everything away over a fling? I wouldn't be telling you these things if I hadn't experienced something that I thought I never would! Kagura you can't tell me that you didn't feel it!" Kyou said sharply, grabbing her arms and forcing her to look him in the eyes.
"Feel what?" Kagura asked, trying to break free from his grasp.
Suddenly he kissed her and all the fight in her just melted away. She hated that he had that type of power over her. Her treacherous body was just responding to his touch even while her mind protested. His hand slowly caressed her thigh and she found herself moaning into his mouth. He kissed her deeply, exploring every inch of her mouth with his tongue. His hands began hiking her skirt up, but she didn't have the will to fight him off. Her body really wanted him and she groaned at the feeling his of fingers stroking her teasingly. Soon even her mind could only think about finishing what he had started as she broke free of his kiss and pulled his shirt over his head.
They both collapsed to the floor panting, their bodies shaking and covered in sweat. All the memories of their night of drunken passion came rushing back to her all at once. The sex had been just as satisfying then too. She hated herself for her weakness but somehow Kyou could tap into a part of her that Kunimitsu didn't even know existed.
"You felt it didn't you?" Kyou panted. "It's the something missing," he added.
"Incredible sex doesn't make a relationship..." she protested weakly.
"No, but it doesn't hurt it either," he retorted. "But seriously it isn't just the sex, it's the connection. You felt it didn't you?"
She rolled onto her back trying to catch her breath. This was wrong her mind knew it but her spasming body begged to differ. She hated to admit it but Kyou seemed to be the only person who could bring out such a ferocious level of passion in her and it looked as though she had the same influence on him.
"Yes, I felt it," she begrudgingly admitted.
"Look I'm not saying that we should immediately move in together or get married. I just think we owe it to ourselves as well to Tohru and Kunimitsu to find out how we really feel. Tohru doesn't deserve to be with someone who can't give her everything he has got and Kunimitsu doesn't deserve that fate either."
Kagura rolled back on her side to look in Kyou's eyes. She would have never imagined or even predicted that he would be the one opening up to her and that she would be the one hesitating. Kyou of the past would have never talked so freely to her but Kyou of the present was older and wiser now. Tohru had been good for him in that she helped him grow up but now Kagura could see that somehow he outgrew Tohru. She wasn't sure how to respond over the years she had given up hope of this ever happening.
"Kagura after everything that has happened between us can you honestly go back to Kunimitsu and be happy with no regrets?" he asked, turning to gaze into her eyes.
She sighed heavily rolling onto her back again. The tears that had been welling in her eyes began to fall. "Okay Kyou, you win. I'll give us another chance," she said defeated. "But what do we tell everyone?"
He wiped away her tears and kissed her lips softly. "We'll figure things out. I promise," he whispered before kissing her again.