Ya ya, I know. No excuses for not updating. Shutup…

Disclaimer: Don't own it…never will unless someone get's shot, then someone else get's shot and I somehow inherit the company. Like that will happen, -twirls revolver around finger-

I'm just kidding for all of those with an evil gleam in your eyes. Don't pay me back by suing me for violent insanities, pay me back by…dancing really badly. Oh yeah, that burns my eyes…ok, you can stop now…really, stop. I can't even see you! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL DANCING?

Last Time

Everyone stared around the table while eating their takeout for breakfast. After a particularly long and uncomfortable silence, Shigure cleared his throat as they went to their rooms to collect their school books.

"Kyo? Kagura called yesterday and she announced that she will be coming over tomorrow." He said, watching the orange haired teen pale visibly. (Kyo) snickered behind his hand and nudged her gently.

"And Tohru? Ayame would like to know if you would model some dresses for him tomorrow." Shigure stated, relishing in the glow of red coming from the angry cat trapped in his love interest's body.

There was one thing for sure… tomorrow was going to be quite the day.


"I AM GOING TO MURDER THAT DAMN DOG!" (Kyo) yelled furiously outside the front door while (Tohru) attempted to calm him down. She got him quite but one strange look from Yuki set him off again.

"AND WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT! Don't make me get my frying pan!" Kyo threatened, and Yuki scrambled ahead to walk by himself.

"Kyo, did you take the medicine I gave you? You seem like you might be PMSing." (Tohru) said lowly, and (Kyo) screeched.

"SHHHH! I am not PMSing…I'm just…angry, see? Grrr." He growled at (Tohru) and bared his teeth.

'Or maybe he's just insane…' (Tohru) thought, giving (Kyo) an odd look.

"Well anyways," (Tohru) said not seeing the Prince Yuki Fan Club walking past. "Did you bring your tampons today?" (Tohru) turned to meet the distgusted faces of the club members and one very embarrassed Kyo.

"YOU KYO SOHMA ARE A PERVERT! You don't ask a woman a question like that!" Minami screemed pointing a finger in (Tohru's) face.

"But I am a girl!" (Tohru) defended herself. This resulted in a collective gasp, then a very loud "EWWW!" from the president.

"Come on Tohru, you don't need to be treated like this. What a disgusting freak…" Minami said, dragging (Kyo) off.

"Help, me!" (Kyo) mouthed to (Tohru) behind their backs, but Tohru was too busy looking at her nether regions (through her pants you perv!). Suddenly she looked up and pronounced, "Oh I was wrong, I AM a boy!" She said, looking triumphant at her discovery.


Ayame stepped away from his creation and called Mine to see if it fit her likings. She squealed and fiddled with the ribbon, stating that it was his cutest outfit yet.

"Aghh, then I must start over…" Ayame said, removing the dress from the rack.

"But Ayame, why?" Mine said, looking confused.

"I wasn't going for 'cute', I was going for terribly sexy yet extremely embarrassing." He said, sending the dress through the shredder.

Secretly, Ayame laughed manically in his mind. Shigure had called to tell him about Kyo and Tohru's…misfortune, and Ayame had agreed to help make Kyo's life as miserable as possible.


(Kyo) ran as fast as he could to avoid the persistent girls that had attacked him in the bathroom. All because he had stated when asked what type of bikini wax her preferred that he had no idea what a bikini wax was.

"Oh my God, you're kidding me!" One of the members said, removing something from her purse.

"Well it's obvious that you haven't lived until you experience it…" Minami said, holding out a box to the other girl.

"But what is it?" He asked, not enjoying the hungry look that appeared in their eyes.

"Well you just-" The rest of Minami's explanation was cut off from reader's ears by someone flushing the toilet in the high school bathroom.

"YOU KEEP THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!" and "TOUCH ME WITH THAT AND I'LL BREAK YOUR NECK!" Could be heard amongst other insanities screamed by the terrified cat. He managed to narrowly escape the hot wax and was now running down the hallway, dodging into an empty classroom.

After the pack of delusional girls had run past, (Kyo) looked over (Tohru's) body to make sure not a hair was out of place…but on a second thought, he decided that her body was ok, realizing that a major pun could have been applied to the situation.


(Tohru) met (Kyo) outside of the gym when it was time for their P.E. class.

"Are you ready, Kyo?" She asked in a whisper, on her own terrified of going into the locker room again.

"Haha, sorry biatch, but I forged a note, excusing me from P.E. until your terrible rash goes away." (Kyo) laughed. Realizing that the word 'biatch' didn't work to the effect he wished, he muttered "I'm sorry Tohru."

(Tohru) ran into the gym, bursting into tears, (Kyo) silently thanking the heavenly powers that none of his classmates were in the gym yet as he ran after her. When she finally stopped running, she kneeled on the ground, tears still pouring down her cheeks.

"Tohru, I'm sorry for calling you a 'biatch'. One of the girls said it and I thought it was a cool word-"

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T WRITE ME A NOTE!" (Tohru) sobbed loudly, and (Kyo) sweat dropped.

'This is STILL embarrassing…talking to myself, whom happens to be crying like a baby.' Kyo thought while patting her shoulder and thanking God once again that no one was there to see, he told her that he would write her one next time.

"Really?" She sniffed and smiled when he nodded. He offered her a hand to help her stand up and they started to walk away together.

"And Kyo? That's not a rash, it's probably a yeast infection. Does it itch like a mother?" (Tohru) asked, using her own new slang and not hearing his disgusted grunt.

"Tohru, there is NO infection! And your body sure as hell better not be making bread down there!"


OOOOOOOOOOH GOD, that was sooo wrong in like, eleven countries. I know mostly girls read this so if a guy had to partake on this…sick event, my apologies. I thought it was funny in it's own twisted, sick humorous way.

Sorry for not updating (again) but I've been out of the internet for a while so I'm trying to write while we wait. We just moved and blah blah blah.

Umm k. Review or die…I'd pick review. --Saki--