Watching the Stars
Chapter 2: The Past that Haunts Me.
Blackness had consumed my mind once again. Only thoughts of her haunted me. The way her hair smelled, the ways her smile seemed to be angelic, and the way her skin was so smooth and silky against mine. I couldn't help the thoughts drifting towards my past. It must have been at least sixteen years ago. She had walked into Watto's shop on Tatooine, the Queen in disguise. I had thought she was an angel. To this day I still believe she is. I remember her happiness after the victory against the Trade Federation. I remember the tears she shed when she learned of me leaving back to Coruscant to become a Jedi. The dreams about her after that were unbearable. I missed her as much as my mother. Then there was that fateful day, ten years later, when I was once again graced with my angel's presence. I couldn't stop looking at her. When they had spent those long days on the planet of Naboo, when I still had been her protector. The way we enjoyed those peaceful days near the lake, just enjoying each other's company. How our emotions were playing with us. Then when we had gone to Tatooine to save my mother, how she had comforted me after her death. The memory that toyed my mind the most was in the arena, her pledging her love for me before we were to die. The most I had ever seen her happy was our wedding day on Naboo. Her face seemed to light up the whole sky. I remember how much want and need there was when we kissed as husband and wife. The most shocking memory was when she had told me of the pregnancy. How she had tried to comfort me after my nightmares of her. How she had worried about me after the attack on the Jedi Temple. She then had been visited by Obi Wan, which had tried to tell her the truth of my actions that had happened lately. She had traveled to Mustafar just because of me. She had confronted me of my actions and I believed she had betrayed me when Obi Wan had walked off the platform onto the docking bay. I had choked the life out of her, as she had crumpled to the floor. I could feel the pain as the medical table slowly rose.
"Arise Darth Vader," Sidious said in his grave voice.
I realized I was no longer myself. I felt my artificial limbs began to move. As I walked toward my master, I had to ask him the question that was killing me.
"Where is Padme? Is she alright?" I said in the mechanical voice that was now my own.
"It seems that, in your attempt to kill Obi Wan, you have killed her." My master said with slight pleasure in his voice.
My throat had constricted to where I could scarcely breathe. You could definitely hear the raspy breathing that the mechanical breathing had began to sound like a freak accident with two star ships.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO," I screamed, as if it would some how bring her back to life.
I killed her and my unborn child. How could I have been so cruel? I became the reason that she and my child had died, instead of saving them from my nightmares. I had nothing left but the Empire. Even then it didn't interest me anymore. I had no real reason to live. As my master and I stood on the Command Deck, watching the construction of the Death Star, my thoughts couldn't help but wander on what if she hadn't died. What if she were here along with my unborn child? As I tried to concentrate, a familiar life force crept silently in my mind.
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