AN: Thanks for making it this far. I have been getting a lot of reviews, and a lot of emails of people worried I am going to stop writing. Fear not, I shall press on. I am most excited about writing the "breaks", when Harry and Hermione get to spend time at his home. Yea buddy, here comes another drama bomb. Lol. Thank you to every one who has been reviewing, favoriting, and author alerting. All of you are what makes this story happen. If any one has a specific scene request or any thing, let me know. I also decided not to write the SIRIUS/REMUS fic, until this one and the final sequal are finished.
"Well, it's not everyday a wizard gets an ice job." Sirius smirked, a small grimace on his face as he opened the door to the ice cream parlor. "This is going to be great."
"Is it?" Macey scowled as she crossed the threshold of the building. "It's cold in here."
"No shit." Sirius grumbled as he rubbed at his mouth. "Why are you so pissy? Is it that time of the month?"
"No ass." Macey scowled. "We're having ice cream, while Harry is in the hospital."
"Oh." Sirius breathed as he scratched his head for a moment. "Well, we are going to go see him in a while."
"We are?" Macey perked at this news.
"Yep. We will probably leave in two months."
"That isn't soon." Macey scowled as she slumped again.
"It isn't long either." Remus commented as he attempted to diffuse the volatile situation brewing.
"Remus is right." Cynthia breathed as she sat down in one of the seats, pleasantly surprised to find the furniture magickally heated for the customer's pleasure. "Harry wouldn't want us to worry. He never wanted us to worry about him. He will take care of everything."
"I worry about him. I just want to stab that stupid bitch he is dating." Macey scowled as she joined Cynthia at the table. "I hate her so much."
"Why?" Sirius inquired slowly, hoping that he didn't sound challenging.
"Because she stole my Harry." Macey pouted. "Harry is supposed to grow up and marry a nice black girl. Me."
For a moment, the entire entourage remained silent before Sirius' lips began to curl into a giggle. "No body ever asks Harry what he wants."
"He don't know what he wants." Macey snapped back, a small scowl on her face. "Macey does though."
"I bet." Remus chuckled before turning his head to gaze at the entrance door, noticing a pair of women entering.
"Oooo. Goth girls, ten o'clock." Crystal whispered, causing Sirius to whip his head around to gaze in their direction.
"Hot damn. Just how I like 'em."
"I thought you liked any one with a pulse." Macey suppressed a giggle as she arched an eyebrow.
"Pulse is optional, they just have to be warm."
"Sick." Remus scowled as Sirius stood from the table.
"If you will excuse me, I will be right back."
"This is going to be classic." Alexis, one of the quieter girls piped up, causing every one to nod their heads.
"Hello there. My name is Sirius." He spoke smoothly as he walked with a slight hop in his step, obviously suppressing his ever-dramatized swagger.
"Cindy." The taller one spoke, not extending her hand as she eyed his teeth.
"I'm Moniq." The shorter one replied, her eyes flickering to the table where everyone was attempting to look disinterested in the proceedings, obviously watching diligently.
"Beautiful names for equally beautiful ladies." Sirius drawled, his teeth glittering in the light.
The muffled thud of Macey slapping her self in the forehead could be heard around this time. "Keepin it pimpin." She whispered, causing the table to snigger.
Sirius scowled for a moment before pressing one. "May I, buy the pair of you an ice cream?"
"No." Moniq replied quickly as she pointed at several different flavors, the owner quickly filling a cone for her.
"Ok." Sirius replied, scratching his head a moment. "I'm not going to get any where am I?"
"Nope." The two girls replied in unison, as Sirius took a moment to drink in their appearance. They were wearing matching outfits. It looked to him like they had sewn patches and stitched their Hogwarts robes, both of them having been Hufflepuffs at some time. Though the "I love Potions teachers" patch over their right breast tipped him off that they were probably Slytherins in disguise.
Without a word Sirius turned on his heels and scowled as the entire table burst into laughter. The heat in his face was unbearable as he stalked his way over to his 'friends'. "What are you assholes laughing about?"
"Can I buy you an ice cream?" Remus blurted out before almost falling over in his chair, barely supported by a teary eyed Cynthia.
"Dicks." Sirius muttered as he sat in his seat.
"You need some lessons from Harry." Macey spoke softly as she patted Sirius on the back. "Or me."
"What could you teach me?" Sirius grumbled as he rubbed his jaw.
"How to be more like Harry. For one thing." Macey replied evenly.
"So you could go after him next?" Cynthia giggled slightly, causing Macey to turn towards her.
"No, there's only one Harry. May be one day, I can move on. May be I need to train this looser up first, and then the stars will grant my wish." Macey sighed dreamily before jerking back to eye Sirius.
BACK AT HOGWARTS
"Harry?" Hermione inquired softly as she listened to Harry hum a strange tune from behind his curtain in the Hospital Wing.
"Yea baby?" Harry replied, his voice croaky as he beckoned her to him with his tone.
"Are you ok?"
"Is Neville ok?"
"Then I am great." Harry smiled softly as Hermione shook her head slowly.
"Is it true?" Hermione spoke softly, her upper lip stiff as she idly played with a piece of string on one of Harry's blankets.
"You tell me, you've seen it closer then I have." Harry replied wryly.
"Not that. Oh Harry." Hermione scowled slightly before turning her face away, her upper lip quivering as she attempted to stay angry with him.
"You're mad because me and Neville fought Ron and Krum." Harry stated. It wasn't a question.
"Yes." Hermione nodded. "Didn't you know I would find out. No matter what happened?"
"It had to be done." Harry replied sternly.
"Did it?" Hermione continued quietly as she turned around and bunny hopped into a sitting position on the edge of Harry's bed.
"It was inevitable." Harry grinned slightly, "Did I use that right?"
"Yes." Hermione sighed slightly as she shook her head. "You are trying to act studios and make me feel bad for wanting to yell at you."
"Is it working?"
Harry remained silent, his mood pensive as he watched Hermione think, He enjoyed watching her think almost as much as he enjoyed walking behind her.
"You are staring at me." Hermione finally breathed. "I'm mad, but I'm not crazy."
"I know. Sorry." Harry replied.
"You could have asked Dumbledore for help. Had him take care of all of this. Or I should have." Hermione spoke evenly as she stared Harry in the eyes. "This is a school. Not…"
"The streets?" Harry offered. "I know, but this was something I needed to take care of."
"Someone said death eaters rescued you. Wild rumors. I was so worried." Hermione chuckled softly, but stopped as she noticed Harry's eye twitch. "You twitched. That mean's there is something you aren't telling me."
"I…" Harry began but stopped, unsure of how to continue. "You…" Stalling for time, he reached out and poked her stomach. "Don't freak out. Ok?"
"There were death eaters." Hermione gasped lightly. "Harry, what happened? Tell me everything."
"Neville is going to ask the twins out." Harry began, but fell silent as Hermione gave him a glare.
"You are changing the subject."
"Krum and me made a deal. If we beat him in a duel, he stays away from you. None of us trusted each other, so we did 2on2." Harry breathed quickly.
"I would be flattered if I wasn't so worried." Hermione groaned lightly. "I… appreciate the thought behind it Harry, but it was dangerous and stupid." Hermione fidgeted for a moment before continuing. "So where do the Death Eaters come in?"
"Around when I lost consciousness." Harry snickered, but quickly fell silent at the look of horror on Hermione's face. "They showed up because they didn't want me to get hurt."
"That doesn't make sense." Hermione spoke softly as she began to analyze the situation.
"Sure it does. Voldemort wants to be the one who kills me, and he wasn't about to allow some jerk to off me before he got the chance." Harry explained.
"O." Hermione replied, her voice barely perceptible.
"Don't worry about it baby." Harry cooed as he reached out to caress her hair. "Every thing is fine now. All that's left is to get Neville to hook it up with the twins."
"Hey ladies. Can I offer you some dick?" Neville spoke to himself in the mirror as Harry sat on the couch stifling a giggle.
"I don't know if that one will work Neville." Hermione piped up as she stepped out of the bathroom in Harry's room.
"Yea, I agree. I don't think it'll work either. Try this." Harry grinned as he stood, waiting for Neville to turn to face him. "Hey. I saw you checking out my package. How about a little try before you buy? Come here bitches!"
"Jeesus Christ Harry!" Hermione blurted as she covered her face with her hands. "Not that one either!"
"Heh." Harry smirked before continuing. "Well, you could always just tell them you like them?"
"Isn't that… weird sounding though?" Neville spoke softly, as he turned back to look in the mirror. "I mean really, when it all boils down. I am really just telling them I want to bang them both at the same time."
"That's the plan isn't it?" Harry chuckled.
"Of course. But you know, I really do like both of them for more then just them being great pieces of ass."
"That's heartening." Hermione spoke exasperatedly. "Really, just tell them you want to take them out to Hoggsmeade or something. If they agree, then go from there. Ok?"
"Yea… You're right Hermione." Neville replied as he slammed his right fist into the palm of his left hand. "I'm going to go do it. I'll be right back."
"Do it, to it." Harry cheered as he and Hermione watched Neville exit the portrait.
"Think he is really going to do it?" Hermione finally spoke after a few moments.
"He better, because if he don't, I'll have to take care of this situation."
"Merlin. That sounds terrifying." Hermione snickered.
"Where is Neville?" Hermione spoke as they sat at their table during lunch.
"More importantly." Harry began as he gestured with his hands in a sweeping motion. "Where are the twins?"
"I didn't notice at first. Neville and the twins are missing."
"We are right here." Gred and Forge piped up from several seats down, their attention drawn by discussion with the word twins in it.
"Not you. The Indian Flutes." Harry laughed as the twins also looked down the table.
"So he did it huh?" Fred questioned. "Every one was wondering when he would ask them out. I guess they said yes."
"Guess so." Harry agreed as they all went back to eating.
It was near the end of dinner when Harry finally realized what was bothering him, and it was now speaking to him.
"Mr. Potter, report to the headmasters office. Now." Minerva McGonagall spoke forcefully as she stood beside him, having just entered the Great Hall.
"All right." Harry shrugged as he gave a sideways glance at Hermione. "I'm going."
"Hey Harry." Neville spoke sheepishly as Harry entered the room.
"What it do?" Harry smirked slightly as he noticed Neville and the twins looking very timid.
"I got busted. We… got busted." Neville continued quietly as he glanced at the entrance. "SHE thinks you put us up to it."
"Busted doing what?"
"Each other." Padma giggled slightly before going silent again as her sister elbowed her in the shoulder.
"That's hot." Harry smiled as he clapped his hands together. "So what am I here for?"
"You are here because I have reasonable suspicion that you have been pimping." McGonagall accused as she entered the office, Dumbledore hot on her tail.
"Minerva, you simply can not accuse our students of depravity with no proof." Dumbledore chastised.
"No proof?" Minerva spoke rhetorically, obviously heated. "Mr. Longbottom has always been a model student, and now that he has been in the company of Mr. Potter, he is… is… being SEXUAL with not one woman, but the Patil sisters!"
"Twins…" Harry chimed in as he raised a finger. "He is being sexual with the Patil TWINS."
"That's hot." Dumbledore whispered before shutting his mouth firmly under the scrutinizing glare of Minerva McGonagall.
"We all ready have one pregnant student, do we plan to make it three?" Minerva shouted causing Neville to blanche as every one else noticed Harry's immediate change in attitude.
"Is that fucking necessary?"
"Excuse me Potter?"
"You heard me. Did you need to fucking tell the entire school?"
"Hermione is pregnant?" Padma piped up as she listened to the exchange, but was quickly silenced by Neville as he lifted his finger to his lips.
"Bitch." Harry growled, his temper flaring.
"Mr. Potter. Minerva. Both of you will behave like adults, I desire that we first have an explanation by Mr. Longbottom about the events that transpired tonight." Dumbledore spoke serenely, though obviously perturbed by the behavior of those in his office.
"Well… I have always had a crush on the twins."
"I'll let Gred and Forge know."
"Shut it Harry. Like I was saying, I really like the twins… but I never had the courage to ask them out or any thing."
"SO you had Mr. Potter force them into prostitution?" McGonagall spat bitterly.
"What? No! It's not like that! Harry just helped me get the courage to ask them out!" Neville yelped as his face began to burn. "He told me to ask them out, and I did, and we ended up… kissing."
"You cut my dinner short because they were caught kissing?" Harry laughed before turning to gaze Dumbledore in the eyes. "Can I fucking go?"
"They were not JUST kissing!" Minerva growled as she began to pace. "Tell every one exactly what was going on."
"Kissing?" Neville offered, obviously uncomfortable.
"Kissing titties? Or were they giving you head?" Harry grinned as he leaned forward.
"No!" Neville practically shouted as he turned to look at the twins. "We were…?"
"We were sitting in Neville's lap, taking turns kissing him… and each other…" Padma spoke, barely above a whisper as she answered Neville's unspoken plea.
"Fucking hot!" Harry practically shouted, causing Neville to grin despite himself.
"I agree." Dumbledore nodded before coughing and correcting himself. "That this behavior is inappropriate."
"Yea. I agree." Harry spoke calmly, causing every one in the room to turn to stare at him incredulously. "You should have invited me to fucking tape that."
"MR.POTTER!" Minerva screamed. "You will be serving detention with Professor Snape."
"What? What the fuck?" Harry yelped. "What the fuck did I do?"
"You and your sexual promiscuity is causing our school to turn into a haven for smut. You will be helping Professor Snape write our sexual education class."
"God damn it!" Harry shouted, causing Neville to hang his head.
"I'm so sorry Harry." Neville began, but was quickly silenced by Harry.
"Shut up Neville. This isn't your fault. Fine, I will write the class with Snape. Can I fucking go?" Harry growled as he gripped his cane with a white knuckled fist.
"You are excused." Dumbledore nodded.
"This isn't fair. Both of you know Harry had nothing to do with this." Neville growled as the sound of Harry's cane echoed through the door.
"Harry is a bad influence, and will pay for his actions." Minerva replied coolly. "The three of you will serve detention, and be asked to speak during the class."
"Speak?" Pavarti groaned as she turned to look at her sister. "What do you mean speak?"
"You will have to discuss with the class why you believe that abstinence is the best policy." Minerva replied haughtily, but was stunned with Dumbledore cleared his throat and raised a hand.
"I believe it best if they speak about their opinion about the entire matter. It is in my opinion, a better idea if the students speak about issues important to them."
"Thank you Headmaster." Neville and the twins replied mechanically, slightly shocked by his understanding.
With a nod, Dumbledore dismissed the students. With a wave of his hand, the door shut softly, giving Minerva and himself more privacy.
"There is nothing to discuss." McGonagall interjected quickly, sensing a fight brewing.
"Ah. But there is." Dumbledore replied evenly as he began to rummage within his desk. "Hmm… Where is it… AH! Here it is!"
"What is that object?"
"This is my Headmaster handbook." Dumbledore explained with a twinkle in his eye as he gestured at the small black book in his palm. "It explains how new classes should be presented. It has been many years since I needed to use it."
"But, when that fool Lockheart made his dueling club…?"
"Like I would make a real classroom environment for that idiot." Dumbledore chuckled as he began to flip through the book. "Sit beside me and we shall build this class. Then we discuss your indomitable hatred for young Mr. Potter."