Disclaimer – I don't own the rights to Devil May Cry or related characters.

Growing Pains


Ayla Curtis

Foreword – This is an impression, using the template of the boys being brought up in more modern time in an attempted 'average' family, with Sparda being married to their mum, them all living together and the parents not being dead yet. It's just for fun. I have no real idea how it all happened.

All events in the chapters in this will come in no particular chronological order, as they will be written as and when they come to me. They are the result of numerous conversations at the bus stop. Unless stated otherwise, Sparda is always in his 'human' form, (which I assume to be the 'Legendary Dark Knight' bonus costume)…but not dressed like a past ages aristocrat with a bloody stupid purple monocle.

Happy Birthday, Boys

We enter this scene at the end of young Dante and Vergil's birthday. It's coming to night time, the party is over, they are a year older and their dad has decided its time that they got his special presents.

His beloved boys were arguing over the last slice of fudge cake and attempting to brain each other with varying available cutlery (much to their mother's dismay) when Sparda swaggered into the dining room with a smile and two very long packages in his hands.

"Yay! More presents!" Dante squealed in delight and leapt to his feet to run over and attempt to wrench the colourfully wrapped gift with his name on it from his father's arms.

Sparda seemed amused by his cockiest son's attempt and declined to let him take it so simply, instead holding it just tight enough so the boy really had to struggle to pry it from his grip.

Vergil politely waited to be given his.

Eventually both presents were received and were torn open with much enthusiasm. Shiny paper fluttered in the air while Eva padded over to watch the event. She had heard nothing of these two gifts that her husband had just brought in.

"Oh wow! This is so cool!" Dante yelped as he broke open the cardboard box to reveal the medieval style two-handed sword inside.

Vergil's eyes went unbelievably wide as he saw the katana within his own, more neatly opened, box.

"You can't give them swords!" Eva screamed at Sparda while she watched in horror as the twins tried to heft the heavy blades.

"Why ever not?" Sparda asked.

"You don't give young boys swords for their birthday!"

"I got a sword for my birthday." Sparda told her while fondly thinking about his own.

"I think you'll find that that was more coming-of-age than actual birthday. And you just don't little boys dangerous weapons!"

"It's a bit late now." Sparda huffed as the boys inspected their gifts with glee.

He knelt down on the floor in between them so he could pat them both softly on the head. "Do you like them?"

"Yeah!" Dante announced, punching the air above him.

Vergil nodded and clutched at the hilt with both hands.

Sparda laid two fingers of each hand on the flat of each blade (Vergil had unsheathed his). "They have names. Dante, yours is called Rebellion. Vergil, yours is called Yamato."

They both smiled and admired the shiny cold steel they had been given.

-Two Hours Later-

Sparda, Eva and Vergil stood beside a bed in a curtained off cubicle of a hospital A&E ward. Dante was lying on the bed, after having the deep slice his arm stitched up.

The doctor was presently away writing a prescription for something or another to help the pain.

(To make this whole thing work you must pretend that at this tender age, Dante hasn't got his whole uber no-scar-quick-heal ability yet…he'll grow into it…wont take long).

"I knew it was a bad idea." Eva grumbled and tried to stop Dante picking in fascination at his stitches. "I told you that you shouldn't give them swords. Now look what's happened."

"The quickest way to learn is through your mistakes." Sparda said in his defence.

"He is seriously hurt!"

"It's just a gash."

"Just a gash?" she slapped him upside the head.

"Ow! What was that for!"

"You know perfectly well." She hissed. "Sometimes you are more childish than these two! And that's a hard thing to achieve!"

Sparda crossed his arms and grumbled to himself, hoping they could go home soon.


Author's Note – So there you have it, the first chapter of this random events fic. Please let me know what you think. If and when my friends and I have more obscure little conversations I will type them out and post them up.