Title: Support Group
Summary: On a Friday evening, to deal with her crap, Mia writes an entry in her diary. "Life Support's a group for people coping with life." But is Mia coping?
Disclaimer: I own nothing. DC owns all. Except for the X-men, Marvel owns that.
I don't think I've ever been so glad to be at Titans Tower. Not that I've been coming here for long, only a couple of months, but today, it's the best place to be.
I can defiantly understand the appeal of this place. In a world full of super heroes, there are few places that teen heroes can just hang out together, talk with one another, help one another. Sort of like a support group, only more fun.
Less cookies. I don't like cookies.
Ollie wants me to go to a support group, to help me figure out all this stuff about being HIV positive. He means well. He thinks it'll help. I think he's wrong. We ended up getting into a show down of sarcasm and a battle of wits just before I left for the weekend. I held my own even against Ollie the great master of verbal irony and being an ass. Still it didn't end puppies and kittens. Like I said, I've never been so glad to be at Titans Tower, except…
Cyborg has started making sure everyone of us carries latex gloves when we go out. And someone has put condoms in all the bathrooms. I suspect Beast Boy on that one.
I called Cyborg on it, the gloves, not the condoms (I could care less about the condoms.) and he didn't deny it. He's pretty cool that way. He admitted that this was something he should have been doing long before I came along, that my coming only gave him the swift kick in the butt he needed. I can respect that. But it still pisses me off that I'm becoming the HIV+ poster child.
When I first came to Titans Tower, I tried to keep my HIV positive status a secret. Partly because I didn't want to be judged before they knew me and partly because… Because I was scared. Yeah, scared. Scared they'd kick me out if they found out. I guess I'm scared that they still might, I don't know, change their minds. After it's been a week or a month. After I bleed for the first time on a mission? Or in the training room for that matter. Maybe I should have just kept my secrets to myself. Yeah, right.
Secrets don't survive long here. Eventually, they come out, one way or another. I kept my secret for all of two weeks. Conner (Conner Superboy, not Connor Green Arrow) managed to keep his somewhat longer but like I said, eventually, they get found out. And that's not such a bad thing. I mean, I have to trust these people and having secrets, not a great way to build trust.
I wish Conner (Superboy) would get his butt back here. He's being stupid, putting himself under house arrest, just because he went a little nutso. I don't hold anything against him. I don't think the rest do either. He's stupid to think that cutting himself off will make everything all better. Doesn't he realize to get through this he needs to be with people like him, who understand him? Doesn't he know he has to be with the Titans?
Apparently not, Raven went to visit Conner (Superboy) and she says he has no plans about coming back. Jerk.
As you can see, I have very little sympathy for him. I'm working on the "If I have to deal with what's in my blood, he has to deal with what's in his" premise here.
And, yes, I want him back here for selfish reasons of my own. Because if they accept him back, they'll have to accept me.
And, okay, since I'm being honest here, it's nice to be around people who are more messed up than you are. Or, at least, as equally messed up.
Sometimes I wonder about the weirdest things. Like right now, I'm wondering what effect HIV would have on the other titans. Cyborg is only half human, could it effect him? What about Beast Boy, after all, the H in HIV stands for Human. Animals can't get it so could Beast Boy? And what about half demon or alien and part alien/part human clones? Would Bart's accelerated healing turn a disease that takes years to kill, into one that could end his life within minutes? Well, I told you it was weird. Not exactly something you bring up in polite conversation.
I started this diary after I got my diagnosis. Just for a place to write all this crazy stuff down. I don't know anyone I could actually talk to this about. Not Ollie. Not Connor (Green Arrow Connor. Fuck, it's not like their names are even spelt the same.) or Roy. And certainly not some crummy support group.
Maybe I should start a support group of my own for HIV+ Former Sex Trade Worker Ex-Drug User Teenage Superheroes. Membership: Me.
It's time to face facts. There are no support groups for people like me. Just places where I can belong.
So, Ray can go to NA. And Ollie can get together with his "I was dead but now I'm alive" buddies. But me, I have the Teen Titans.