(Lorelai walks into Luke's, and sits at the counter.)
LORELAI: I was almost crushed by a paper mache star. How's your day?
LUKE: Well, it's looking pretty good now. (He says with a smile and Lorelai take a moment to admire it)
LORELAI: Coffee please, no shot of cynicism.
LUKE: So, why so cheery?
LORELAI: I don't know. I'm just in a mood. I don't know why.
LUKE: But there's no particular reason for this mood?
LUKE: Uh huh.
LORELAI: You don't believe me?
LUKE: No, I believe you. If you say there's no reason for the mood, then there's no reason for the mood. You're simply nuts.
LORELAI: Or bipolar. That's very big nowadays.
(Miss Patty and Taylor are arguing at a table behind Lorelai.)
TAYLOR: No, no, Patty, you're wrong. They built the fire to throw themselves on it when their families found them
MISS PATTY: Taylor you're crazy! They built the fire so that they could stay warm their first night here.
TAYLOR: Patty, I am the recording secretary for the Stars Hollow City Council, I think I know how my town was founded!
LORELAI: Ugh, can nobody talk about anything else but this stupid festival? Pause That came out a lot louder then it was supposed to, didn't it?
(Lorelai turns to face Taylor and Miss Patty)
TAYLOR: This festival is commemorating the founding of our town, young lady.
LORELAI: I know Taylor. I'm sorry.
LUKE: She's bipolar.
MISS PATTY: Really? But you're so young.
LUKE: Uh, can I get you two anything else?
MISS PATTY: Oh, no thank you, sweetheart.
(Miss Patty and Taylor leave the diner)
(Lorelai turns back to face Luke)
LORELAI: I don't know what is wrong with me. This is a beautiful festival. People should be enjoying it.
LUKE: It's a crazy festival based on a nutty myth about two lunatics, who in all probability did not even exist. And even if they did, probably dropped dead of diphtheria before age 24. The town of Stars Hollow probably got its name from the local dance hall prostitute. Two rich drunk guys who made up the story to make it look good on a poster.
LORELAI: You are full of hate and loathing, and I gotta tell you, I love it!
LUKE: Oh, it's so good to have somebody share this hate with.
LORELAI: My pleasure.
LUKE: More coffee?
LORELAI: Yeah please. Hey, tomorrow, if you have time, I'm planning on despising everyone who says 'Hey, how's it going?'
LUKE: You're on.
RACHEL: Hey, how's it going?
LORELAI: Oh, now that's just too easy.
LORELAI: Rachel? Your Rachel? You're Rachel? Wow, she looks good.>
RACHEL: Yup. I'm Rachel.
LUKE: What are you…I mean, I thought you were in the Congo or Philadelphia or something.
RACHEL: Actually, though very similar to both the Congo and Philadelphia, I was in the Mideast.
LUKE: Oh. Guess that postcard must've gotten lost.
RACHEL: Yeah, yeah, well things pretty crazy over there, not a lot of writing time. But I finished up my assignment, and I flew back to Chicago and I was walking through O'Hare, and I look up and there's a plane leaving for Hartford in like 20 minutes, and all of a sudden, I'm on it.
LUKE: Nice story.
RACHEL: I should have called.
LUKE: No. You…it's fine.
RACHEL: You look good.
LUKE: Thanks. You um, you look, you, you uh look…
LORELAI: He thinks you look good too. Right? Sookie wasn't kidding
LORELAI: And you do. I hate you for that. What?.. Why did I say that?
RACHEL: Thank you.
LORELAI: I'm Lorelai.
LUKE: Oh yeah. She's Lorelai.
LORELAI: I'm Luke's….
(Lorelai immediately turns around to face Luke with a 'what the hell' express which Rachel did not see. Luke stared at Lorelai with slightly pleading eyes that almost went unnoticed, but she picked it up. When he was sure she understood he continued)
LUKE: Yeah. She uh, uh, works at the Independence Inn.
LORELAI: I run it, actually.
LUKE: Sorry, she runs it.
RACHEL: Wow, I love that place.
RACHEL: That must be a pretty big job.
LORELAI: It is! It's crazy. There's always something happening. Like, we just put these coffee makers in all the rooms, but only half of them work. They just like shake and gurgle, like they're having some kind of a fit. Why were you in the Mideast? (Lorelai said trying to stop herself from babbling)
RACHEL: I was doing a photo story, on how Palestinian and Israeli families have been affected by the violence.
LORELAI: Uh huh, well, so you understand about the job pressure.
LORELAI: I'm gonna go. because now I'm not just the crazy babbling friend. I'm the crazy babbling girlfriend
RACHEL: Please, don't let me drive you away.
LORELAI: That's okay, you're not. I have to go sit in a closet or something. So, it was really nice to meet you.
RACHEL: Yeah, you too.
LORELAI: Okay, bye. (Lorelai flashes a 'you so owe me ' look at Luke then leaves)
RACHEL: So. . .hi.
RACHEL: So.. girlfriend.
LUKE: Yeah.. girlfriend.
RECHEL: She's pretty.
LUKE: Yeah.. pretty. beautiful actually
RACHEL: I really should have called.
LUKE: No. No. its um…its fine.
(Rachel takes a seat at the counter)
RACHEL: How are you?
LUKE: Good. I'm.. I'm good. You?
RACHEL: I'm good.
(another awkward pause)
RACHEL: Is it serious?
RACHEL: You and …um, your girlfriend?
LUKE: My what?
RACHEL: Your girlfriend. The pretty woman that was just in here? Brown hair, blue eyes? Runs the inn? You called here your girlfriend?
LUKE: Oh. Yeah …um, Lorelai, ..my girlfriend. That's my girlfriend. Lorelai.
(Rachel looks at Luke expectantly. Luke stares at her clueless.)
RACHEL: Well, is it serious?
LUKE: Oh.. yes… no … I mean yes.
RACHEL: Which is it?
LUKE: Well, its new, so its not serious, but we're exclusive so it is.. you know.. serious. But its new. But we only see each other.. no one else.
RACHEL: So you guys are seriously new?
LUKE: Yeah. (deep sigh) we're new ..and serious. (he adds quickly)
RACHEL: How new?
LUKE: Well..you know..just really new.
RACHEL: What's really new Luke? Two hours?
LUKE: No. not two hours. Like.. a ..week.
LUKE: So how long are you here for? (he was desperate to change the subject)
RACHEL: About three weeks.
RACHEL: Yeah. But I really should have called…I was kind of hoping to stay with you while I was here but I think its safe to say that that's no longer an option.
LUKE: Why? (He asks truly confused)
RACHEL: Lorelai? Your girlfriend. Who I'm pretty sure would not take too kindly to her boyfriend taking in his ex for one night, much less three weeks.
LUKE: I guess.
RACHEL: I'll just get a room at the inn.
LUKE: What? Do you know how expensive that would be… Look ..just stay.. here….. I mean up there.
RACHEL: I don't think….
LUKE: I'll talk to Lorelai about it. I'm sure it'll be fine. You can stay here and I'll stay somewhere else.
RACHEL: At her place? …wait what am I saying. Its way too new for that. Right? …I mean ..have you..and her…well …do you…?
LUKE: What? (she gives him a 'don't make me say it' look)
LUKE: No! no..its too new. No, but we've been friend for a while, so I'm sure it'll be fine. I'll talk to her. Why don't you go up and get settled. I'll go see her, Lorelai, my girlfriend and talk to her…. Lorelai. And then I'll just come back and get some things.
RACHEL: Luke, are you sure?
LUKE: Yeah. Yeah I'm sure. Go.
RACHEL: Ok. Thank you Luke.
LUKE: No problem.
(Rachel goes upstairs. Luke sighs)