Wilykit, Wilykat And The Greatest Story On Third Earth
"By Jaga! I'm bored!" Wilykit grumbled as she sat twiddling her thumbs and looking at the monitor screens without registering what was going on outside Cats' Lair. She considered swivelling her chair a few times but decided against it; she had already spun round enough times today. Instead, she heaved a sigh and turned round to look at her brother.
Wilykat too was clearly fed up. He stood leaning against the wall, his arms folded, a mutinous expression etched on his face. That expression clearly said the following three words: "I'm pissed off." Yet again, the adult Thundercats had gone somewhere and left the Thunderkittens at home to "keep an eye on things". Yet again, the two youngsters were stuck doing boring old guard duty while their elders went off on exciting adventures. It wasn't fair. Why should the grown-ups have all the fun while the kids were stuck at home?
And it wasn't like there was anything to watch out for anyway; things had been fairly peaceful lately and there had been no sign of any activity at Castle Plundarr for over a week. So, that morning, Lion-O had announced that the Thundercats would be taking advantage of the rare respite to do some routine exploration. The Thunderkittens had immediately volunteered to go along, but Tygra was just as quick to veto the idea. This particular expedition would cover an area of Third Earth which the Thundercats had barely explored before and which they knew very little about. "It's too dangerous," Tygra had said. "We don't know what hidden dangers lurk there. You two will stay behind and that's that."
The resulting protests had fallen on deaf ears and, so, while the older Thundercats did their exploration, Wilykit and Wilykat were stuck at home with nothing to do. The pouches they wore on their belts were fully stocked with powder and neither of them needed to replenish any ingredients. So, with no signs of anything odd going on outside (or of Lion-O's Thundercat Signal, which all Thundercats were duty-bound to answer) they were getting bored . . . No, they weren't just bored - they were BORED! They had to find some way of killing time.
In the end, with nothing else to do, Wilykit got up and fetched a pen and paper. Returning to her place at the monitor, she started scribbling something down. "Hey, Kit," Wilykat said when he saw what she was doing. "What's that you're writing?"
Wilykit grinned. "Only the Greatest Story on Third Earth! Wanna hear it?" Then, without waiting for an answer, she cleared her throat and began to read out loud:
The Amaizing Megakittens
Once upon a time there was two supercool Thunderkittens. They were so cool they weren't just Thunderkittens, they were Megakittens. There was a really cool girl and her rather dopey twin brother . . .
"Hey!" Wilykat shouted, cutting her off. This sounded a little too close to reality for his liking. "Let me see that!"
"Oh, here." Wilykit thrust the paper into his hand. He stared at it for a moment, struggling to suppress a laugh at the nonsense in front of him. Wilykit had just written the most ridiculous piece of literature he had ever read. For five more paragraphs, it went on as follows:
The amaizing Megakittens as evryone called them were called Megakit and Megakat. Megakit was the girl and Megakat was the boy. They were the best on all Thundera, evryone said so. Some even said they was the most powerful Thundercats that ever lived. They had the best weppens, super Thundercanons, and they was real acurate with them. They was so acurate they could hit anything no matter how far away it was.
One day, a terable disaster happened and all the Thundercats got capshured by the evil Mutants. It was the Megakittens to the rescue! Megakit and Megakat got in their cool spaceship and flew to Plundarr where the Mutants had their fellow Thundercats.
When they arrived, the Mutants was waiting for them with some scary spaceships. They had really big guns and they was trained on the Megakittens' spaceship. "Megakat! Look out!" cried Megakit as the guns on the Mutant ship fired and made a cool zinging sound. Luckily, Megakit and Megakat maneged to steer clear in time, so the Mutants missed.
"Lets try to hit them!" cried Megakit. She pressed a button on the control panel and a laser shot out. Zap! Zap! Zap! The laser hit the Mutant spaceships one by one and blasted them out of the sky.
"Way to go!" shouted Megakat. He ran over and hugged his sister.
"Well?" Wilykit asked. "What do you think?" She grinned knowingly, sure she would get plenty of praise for this cool story. Even if, in real life, she and Wilykat still had to answer to their elders and stay "safely" in Cats' Lair, at least they could now escape to the fantastic world of the Megakittens. "No-one would dare treat the Megakittens like kids," she thought to herself.
"You spelt "amazing" wrong," Wilykat replied. "And a couple other words as well. And why in Jaga's name did you make the boy dopey?!"
"Mainly because boys are dopey!" Wilykit said in a teasing tone, ducking as Wilykat belted her around the head with the paper. "OK! OK!" she cried as he came after her again. "Let's see you write something!"
"Fine! I will!" Wilykat grabbed the pen his sister had been using and added his own contribution to her story of the Amazing Megakittens:
but, just when it seemed the megakittens had won, a great huge big enormuss mutant spaceship appeered. it was too big for the megakittens too fight so they got cort too. a big tractor beam came out and pulled them inside.
"what's hapening!" cryed the megakittens.
Wilykit, reading over her brother's shoulder, vainly tried not to giggle. His writing was a barely legible scrawl, but from what she could read, she could see it was not a patch on hers. He hadn't even bothered to use capital letters - and how dare he criticise her spelling when he had made just as many mistakes?! "You call that piece of crap writing?!" she demanded, snatching the pen and paper out of his hands before he could protest. "This is writing!" She started scribbling away again.
An evil laugh filled the Mutant spaceship. "Mwahahahahahaha! We have capshured the amaizing Megakittens!"
"What was that!" cried Megakit and Megakat. They was scared and they would have clung to each other had they not been tied up.
They soon got their anser. A door slid open and an ugly Reptilian Mutant walked out. He had grey scales all over his body and wore nothing but a brown loincloth. He also had big yellow fangs sticking out over his bottom lip. They made him look like a vampire. "Hahaha!" he laughed. "You foolish Megakittens! We used your fellow Thundercats as bait in a trap for you two and now we have you!"
"Not so fast!" cried Megakit. She riggled and got free from her bonds. Then she untied Megakat. "Lets fight, Megakat!" she shouted.
And so Megakit and Megakat fought a huge battle against the evil Mutants. But they didn't have their weppens so they had to use their fists and feet instead. They . . .
Wilykit paused to read what she had written. It was getting really good, but she suddenly realised she had a problem; she had no idea how to resolve this battle. Even though, as a Thundercat, she had often found herself in the thick of battle, she did not know how to describe one. She did not know how to convey in words the excitement, the action, the knowledge that one wrong move could get you captured or even killed. She sighed and sucked on the end of her pen, trying to think of some cool ideas for how the battle should pan out.
Wilykat quickly noticed this. "Having trouble?" he asked her. "Maybe I can help . . ." He took the pen out of her hand and added the following:
suddenly, megakat spotted somthing. it was a huge big enormuss bom and it cood blow the mutants sky high in ten seconds. so he pressed a butten and the bom started counting down.
"Oi!" Wilykit shouted when she saw what he was doing. "Stop messing with my story!"
"Your story? Excuse me, Wilykit, I'm writing it too, y'know!"
"Well, if you call your shitty spider-scrawls writing, go ahead! It's fine by me!" Wilykit shot him a venomous glare, one which challenged him to thump her one for daring to call his writing "shitty".
Wilykat took that as permission to write a few more paragraphs, so he quickly scrawled:
"we've gotta find the others!" cryed megakit. "were are they?!"
"they must be on the mutant spaceship," replyed megakat.
"then lets hurry and find them! that bom'll go off soon!"
"Hey!" Wilykit said as her brother scribbled away. "I've got an idea for where the other Thundercats could be!"
"Have you?" Wilykat was all ears, eager to hear her next contribution to this exciting story. The two Thunderkittens had never tried their hand at creative writing before and, now that they had, thet realised they quite liked it. Maybe they could publish a complete series of Megakittens stories and become famous all over Third Earth. And just let the older Thundercats boss them around then . . .
"Not so fast!" Wilykit said, realising Wilykat wanted her to tell him her idea so that he could write it down. "It's my turn to write something!" With that, she took back the pen and added her next contribution:
The bomb was counting down. Soon the Mutant spaceship woud explode and kill the Megakittens. They had to get out, but they didn't want to leave without their fellow Thundercats. So they ran all thrugh the Mutant spaceship looking for them.
"Where coud they be?" asked Megakit as they ran down the coradoor.
"I don't know," said Megakat. "But we'd better find them before this place explodes."
Just then, the Megakittens heard a voice calling. "Help! We're in here!" It was one of their fellow Thundercats and it was coming from a locked room. All the Thundercats the Mutants had capshured were locked in the room and coodn't get out.
"Stand aside!" shouted Megakit. She kicked the door down and the Thundercats were soon free. "Lets get out of here!" she told them. "This place is gonna blow!"
So, with Megakit and Megakat in the lead, the Thundercats began to run towards the exit . . .
But the question of whether or not the Megakittens made it out of the Mutant spaceship before the bomb went off was destined to remain unresolved. Just as Wilykit was about to write the next sentence, the door slid open; the other Thundercats were back from their expedition. They had, judging by the excited undercurrent in their conversation, uncovered a vast untapped supply of Thundrillium, enough to power the Lair for several months. Indeed, Panthro and Tygra were already discussing how soon they could spare anyone to go back and mine it.
As the Thundercats entered the control room, Wilykit tried to hide the paper she and Wilykat had been writing on. But she wasn't fast enough and Snarf spotted her slipping it under a pile of computer printouts. He pulled it out and examined it for a moment.
"Snarf! What's this nonsense doing on Cats' Lair headed notepaper?!"