Title: Unlikeliest Angel

Rating: R (For Language later)

Relationships: XF

Story: ActionAdventure

Feedback: In lieu of a Faithbot yeah.

Disclaimer: If I own the characters, why have Faith and Cordelia escaped? Woe is me.

Crossover With: Highway To Heaven

E-Mail: Unlikeliest Angel (1/1)

Faith glanced around, long hair swinging wildly and heart thumping as she realised she was surrounded. This was it, the big D. An arm looped around her neck. She drove her head backwards, connecting with a satisfying crunch. Spinning around, she thrust her stake home.

And screamed as a pair of fangs sunk into her throat. She forced a smile as she saw her Watcher charging towards her, his face taut with anguish. She opened her mouth to tell him it was okay, it wasn't his fault, it was just her time.

And then darkness descended.

Jonathan winced as he watched the beautiful brunette's death. So young, what a waste. "She is a Slayer?"

"She was," the Boss confirmed with a sigh. "Unfortunately she is now dead. Trapped in Purgatory."

"Purgatory?" Jonathan stared at the Boss. "Why there, if she's a warrior for good?" The answer hit him in a flood of images flying through his mind. Once they'd finished, he stared at the creator. "It wasn't her fault!"

"No the cruelty of her mother and the gross stupidity of her Watcher and fellow Slayer at the time led Faith down the path, but the deeds were hers, and as such count against her. However," the Boss' eyes twinkled, "all her good deeds are also hers. And that gives me a loophole."

"A loophole, Boss?"

The Boss smiled. "Yes, if I decide to make her a probationary angel, Purgatory and Hell are forced to relinquish all hold over her. However, if she fails probation, she goes straight to hell."

"That sounds risky," Jonathan said carefully.

The Boss smiled. "Faith is a gambler."

"I..is she worth it?" Jonathan asked nervously.

Thankfully the Boss was amused rather than offended by his question. "Remember my teachings, anybody is worth it." The Creator sobered. "Moreover, she has a warrior's heart and a soul that fiercely believes in the principles I hold dear. Her only problem is she fails to believe that the world feels the same way. I will not," suddenly the Boss' eyes flashed with righteous anger, "allow such a child to end up in hell."

Jonathan stared at the Boss for a long moment before remembering his was not to reason why. "What would you have me do?"

"I have not asked anyone to be an angel since you were chosen." Boss smiled. "It is tradition for the last Chosen to make the offer."

Jonathan nodded. "Where is she now?"

"Here," the Boss waved a hand and the room was consumed in a blazing, blinding light.

Faith's back arched as she felt the vampire's teeth sink into her vulnerable neck, felt her life-blood gush out, and her limbs grow weak and heavy. Her eyes shot open. "Fuck, that was a hell of a dream," Faith muttered with a shake of her head. Twenty-two years old and she still hadn't learnt not to drink Tequila pints. Faith sat up.

"Oh shit!" Faith swallowed as she looked around, conscious both of her nakedness and the plain white walls of the room she was in. A more sheltered, less confident woman than her would have been rendered embarrassed by her state. Faith was just pissed off. Rising, she stormed around the small room she'd somehow been trans-, no teleported, that was the word Xan and Geek-Boy used when talking about their nerd shows, into.

Faith made ten angry circuits of the tiny room, searching vainly for an exit, and pounding on the walls in a futile attempt to punch a hole through, before stopping, shoulders slumping in defeat. "Damn," Faith's burning rage ebbed away, replacing by a gnawing unease. Just where was she?

"I can answer that question."

Faith spun around to see a good-looking guy in his mid to late forties stood at the far of the chamber. Renewed fury surging through her veins, Faith charged the man at a blinding speed, intent on ripping some answers from his beaten ass.

And stopped dead when the man somehow moved past her at an even greater speed. Faith quickly turned to face the man, her senses reaching out to check the man out. Something that could move that fast had to be a demon, a real strong one, and yet she couldn't sense an aura about him. Unease growing, she growled a query, relieved at how steady her voice was. "What are ya?"

"I'm an angel."

"Fuck off!" Faith scowled. "And if you're gonna tell me you're my guardian angel, don't, 'less ya want your wings shoved up your ass and strangled with your own halo!"

The so-called angel half-smiled before sobering. "Miss Lehane. Three days ago you died-."

"Fuck off!" Faith snapped. "I'm here wherever the hell this is!"

"Please," the man winced, "don't say 'hell' here, it destabilises things."

"I could give a crap!"

The man shook his head. "Okay, so you need convincing."

Faith gasped as an image flashed through her head, her pale corpse being placed into a coffin, a funeral service, G reading some shit from the front of the church, her girls, the young Slayers she'd trained, crying as they sat in pews, flanked by their stone-faced Watchers. And Xander sat at the front, face taut and pale. "O…okay," Faith swallowed. That was too real to deny. "So I'm dead. That sucks." Faith licked her lips while wondering how her heart could be thumping so much when she was dead. "Who are you? And where am I?"

"My name's Jonathan," Faith decided the man had to be an angel as hard as that was to believe. Hell, he hadn't looked away from her face once. Even Andy would have at least peeked. "And you're in Purgatory awaiting judgement to decide if you deserve to go to heaven or hell."

"Heaven doesn't want me, and hell's scared I'd take over," Faith quoted Michael PS. Hayes in a show of bravado.

Jonathan's face hardened. "This isn't a joking matter, Faith," the angel warned. "Lucifer would be salivating at the thoughts of getting his hands on a Slayer."

Faith resisted the urge to shudder. "That'd be the biggest mistake he ever made," Faith blustered.

"Faith," Jonathan shook his head. "You defeated the First two years ago, that was the most fearsome demon you've ever faced, correct?" After a second she nodded. "The First trembles and hides when Lucifer passes. How would you like to spend an eternity reliving all the worse moments of your life? Your mother's abusive boyfriends, the death of your first Watcher, your torture at the hands of Kaktosis, and your crimes? Not just the memories, but to actually relive them?"

"Okay," Faith croaked. "I'm convinced. How do I to get out of this? But I ain't hurting anybody."

Jonathan smiled. "He wouldn't want you to." The angel began to talk.

Faith's eyes widened as the angel finished. "You. Have. Got. To. Be. Fuckin'. Shittin'. Me!"

"Please," the celestial being winced. "He doesn't like the cursing. It's the only way to stop you from being Judged. If you do well, you'll be passed fit as to go into heaven. If not, you end up in hell."

"I won't fail." Faith promised.

"I'm sure you won't," Jonathan smiled at her. "In that case we'll get your human contact chosen."

"I wanna pick my own human," Faith interrupted. "Or I don't do it."

Jonathan muttered something indistinct under his breath then looked up. "Sorry," he apologised. "But you try working with her."


Jonathan ignored her outburst. "He'll allow it, but on one condition. You have one chance to convince him or her, and if you can't, you must take who's selected for you." Faith nodded. "Who do you chose?"

Faith licked her lips, there was only two guys she trusted. And she doubted the first would be acceptable to God, even if he didn't have his own mission, tracking down the rest of the Circle of Black Thorn. "Xander."

"Alexander Lavelle," Faith blinked then snorted at that revelation, "Harris? Why?"

"I know X, me dying will have torn him apart, the dumb-ass will blame himself for me getting it in the neck. It's taken me years to get him house-trained. 'Sides," Faith shrugged, "two people in the whole world I trust, who've never stabbed me in the back and have always tried to be there for me, he's one." She glared defiantly at Jonathan. "I trust him."

"As you should," Jonathan smiled. "As you wish. Now," the higher being blushed, "about some clothes."

"I think I'll have more chance naked. I mean you're an angel but you got eyes, right?" Faith smirked then sighed at Jonathan's look. "Fine, dress me." Her eyes widened when she was suddenly in a knee-length pink flowered dress. "You have got to be-."

Jonathan waved at her. "Bye Faith."

"YOU ARE DEAD!" she yelled as she was consumed by a white light.

Xander stared blankly at his ceiling, the light turned out. It had only been a few days since his best friend had died, but it was like years. After Sunnydale he and Willow had continued to drift apart, having nothing in common but the past. But Faith had filled that void, her dedication to Slaying and slightly more responsible attitude making her valued team-mate, and her sense of humour and the way they could just talk making her an even better friend. But now that was over.

"What's up, Lavelle?" Xander's mouth opened in an instinctive shriek only to be muffled by an exceptionally strong hand over his mouth. "It's me, dumbass," he paled as he looked up to see Faith stood there. The First was back. The dead Slayer shook her head, an irritated look on her face. "I'm corporeal, idiot." And she just read my mind Xander realised. "Damn, you catch on quick." Faith's face softened. "I ain't evil, now I'm gonna trust you and let go, just don't scream, k?" After a second he nodded. "Wicked." Faith removed her hand.

"You're wearing a dress!" Xander commented.

"I died, and the first thing you can do is comment on my dress?" Faith raised an eyebrow. "No questions about the afterlife? Fuck, I thought B was shallow. I got this from an angel with a whacked out sense of humour."

"Angel?" Xander's eye widened. "You're saying, you're a -."

"Here," Xander gaped when the Slayer flipped his patch up and placed her hand over his ruined eye. "Just for the record," a warmth enveloped his eye, "me dying wasn't your fault, idiot. And this," the brunette stepped back, "is proof of who I am and a reward from the big guy. For saving the world and stuff."

Xander looked at her. "I can see!"

"That was the general idea." Xander glared at the sarcastic Slayer. "X, I'm on the clock here, so I gotta hurry. I'm an angel, least I haven't earned my wings yet, but I can explain that later. I gotta go round the world, helping people to get made into a full angel. If I mess up, I might end up going to hell, but I was heading there anyway on account of all the bad stuff I did. I need you to come with me. I need my bud to steer me right."

Xander's head spun at the babble that spewed out of the Slayer's mouth, he guessed he wasn't getting the full story. "But I can't, I've got duties here-."

"The world's got plenty of Watchers, X." Faith replied. "But I only got one you."

After a second, Xander nodded, the quiet desperation in the Slayer's voice swaying him. The others had moved on, moved away, Giles aside, who only flew in occasionally, he wasn't close to any of the old crowd anymore. Except Faith. And she needed him. "Okay," leaping to his feet, he quickly wrote a note to Giles saying he was going to disappear for a while, that Slaying wasn't him anymore. "You realise Willow-."

"Will try and track us?" Faith smirked. "She ain't got the tools, X. Take my hands."

Xander obeyed then blinked when they were consumed by a light and rematerialized by a small mobile home. "This is our home now, X," Faith explained. "All your belongings are in it." The Slayer shuddered. "Even your Pasty Cline cds." The brunette leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks for choosing me, X."

"No problem." Xander nodded, cheeks flushing in embarrassment. "Have you got a mission yet?"

Faith looked up and sighed. "Yeah, a toughie. Twenty-two year old girl from Minnesota got thrown out of home at 17 on account she was a junkie who stole from her family and made her little sis carry drugs for her. But she's been clean for two years and trying to get back in with the family, but they ain't interested. And," Faith winced, "she's got some sort of blood disease from sharing needles, she ain't got more than a few months to live."

"That's harsh," Xander paused. "How are you going to have to change to be an angel?"

Faith grimaced. "Well cursing is sorta frowned on. And fornicating." Faith beamed at X. "If we ever decide do it again we're gonna have to get married first!"

Xander gaped for a second at that bombshell. He decided a quick change in subject was in order. "Are you going to have stop wearing all those tight clothes too?"

Faith shook her head. "Fuck n-, sorry Boss!"

"Don't worry." God chuckled at his new angel's shouted apology. Somehow he thought Faith Lehane and Xander Harris were going to make life rather interesting for him. "Oh good," he muttered, "things can get rather boring around here."

The End