Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

A/N: Ok, ok, ok, I know this is very, very angsty. Don't you dare flame me for it because you know what happens when I get angry! People die! Lol anyways, excuse the angstyness, and I hope you like it! Oh, yeah Petunia is a lil OOC and you'll see why, and Hermione's parents are very OOC… you'll see why. Please review at the end! NOTE: THIS IS A ONE SHOT it will not be updated!


Hold Me

It's like I don't matter to him …

I doubt I've ever mattered to him.

All I have been for him is a convenient punching bag.

I sit out in my backyard, in the furthest corner from the house. I try to shield myself from his ever-searching eyes. But he finds me. He always does. He drags me back towards the house while I kick out at him, yelling and trying to hurt him in any way possible. Once safely in the living room, he undoes his leather belt and begins to whip me with it. Over and over … and over again. My backside is always too painful to sit down after a session of his belt.

Mum can't do anything; she's far too scared to intervene. She's terrified that he might hit her even more than he already does. I guess I don't matter to her either.

Shouldn't a mother be willing to die for her children? Harry's parents did … they loved him so much … they died for him. But my parents …

I wake up in the middle of the night, each night, to hear my parents yelling at each other. About work, money, me. I hear mum scream as he smacks her so hard she falls to the ground. There is more screaming as he assaults her again, smacking her face, punching her stomach. When I walk down to the kitchen the next morning my mother always has new cuts or bruises on her body.

After these midnight fights, I drift off into a sleep filled with nightmares of being chased down a long dark path. I can see Harry and Ron running in front of me, laughing. I turn my head around behind me to see my father chasing me down with a baseball bat in his hands. I call out to Harry and Ron to help me but they just keep on running, laughing hysterically and not noticing my troubles.

I wake up on one of the last days of the summer holidays and decide that I've had enough … I've had enough of my father mistreating me … he's taken my innocence away and I'm tired of him hurting me each night …

I pack my Hogwarts stuff into my trunk and keep my wand drawn, just in case he tries to stop me. I've already called the taxi, which should be here very soon. I take one last look at my room and begin to leave it. It is very early in the morning, and I can hear my father snoring in his room.

I start to carefully carry my trunk down the stairs and over to the front door. There is the sound of the horn of the taxi outside. As soon as I am outside I hear a roar of fury come from within the house; I can only assume he has found out what I have done because I run down to the taxi and jumped in with my trunk.

"Number Four Privet Drive in Surrey please," I say quickly to the driver.

He nods and revs the car. He puts it into drive and steps on the accelerator and, as we speed off down the road, I see my father running after us in his dressing gown, yelling and shaking his fist.

I sigh and sit back in the taxi. I am out of that hell-hole. For once, I actually believe that the holidays will end happily.

We soon arrive at Privet Drive where I can see Harry doing the gardening out the front. He looks up as the taxi comes to a halt in the gutter next to the house. I open the door and step out of the car, pulling my trunk after me.

"Hermione!" he yells, standing up and running over to me. He almost bowls me over with his enthusiasm to see me.

I smile weakly and say, "Just let me pay the driver." I pay the driver and turn back to Harry. He has already pulled my trunk over next to him and is waiting patiently for me.

"Hermione, what's wrong?" he asks, seeing the dark look in my eyes.

I bite my lip and tears fill my eyes.

"Oh Hermione," he murmurs, walking over to me and hugging me tightly.

"He just won't stop," I whisper to him as the tears escape my eyes and roll down my cheeks. I sigh, realising what position I've put Harry in. What if his aunt and uncle weren't happy with me just randomly coming over? "I'm sorry if I've caused trouble Harry … if you have no room for me I'll just go …"

"No!" he says immediately, pulling back and looking down at me. "Hermione, there's always room for you. Come on. If Uncle Vernon won't let you stay we'll both go to the Leaky Cauldron tonight."

I nod and hug him tightly again. "Thankyou Harry," I whisper to his chest, my tears soaking his shirt.

"It's ok Mione," he whispers back, stroking my hair. "Let's go sit down under the tree and talk," he says, kissing the top of my head.

I nod and we walk over to tree in the centre of the garden. We sit down and lean against it, Harry with one arm around my shoulders. I lean into him gratefully and hold his other hand.

"What happened?" he asks softly, rubbing my hand with his thumb. "What happened the first time?"

I hesitate for a moment before saying, "I … I was sitting in my room just doing my homework. And … and he … he came in. He demanded that I walk down to the shops to buy some groceries for dinner that night." I pause, biting my lip and trying to stop the tears falling down my cheeks.

"Let it out," Harry whispers to me.

I take a deep breath and continue. "I refused to do what he asked because I was doing my homework. And … and he completely lost it. He smacked me around the face and pushed me off my chair, yelling at me about how … how I'm a bad daughter. Then … th-then he picked m-me up from the floor and d-dragged me over to the b-bed," I whisper, my voice trembling as I go through the memory in my head.

I feel Harry nod and squeeze my hand again.

"H-he undid my pants and y-yanked them down. Then he pulled his down and … and he …" But I can't continue. I burst into tears and Harry pulls me closer to him. He kisses the top of my head again and pulls me on top of him, so that I'm sitting on his lap like a baby. He hugs me tightly and I burst into tears again, sobbing loudly, weakly slapping his chest in frustration. I can head him make funny noises in the back of his throat as he tries to stifle his cries of anger.

"We're going to get him Hermione," he whispers in my ear, his voice trembling with anger.

I nod weakly, still crying into his chest.

A while later we decide to stand up and take my things into the house. I think Harry's aunt sees that I need to be with him at the moment because she almost yells at Harry's uncle when he began to yell at Harry.

"You can sleep in Harry's room dear," Mrs Dursley says kindly.

"I'll sleep on the floor," Harry says quietly.

I bite my lip and nod. "Thankyou Mrs Dursley," I say smiling weakly at her.

She smiles back at me and then leads Mr Dursley into the kitchen.

"Come on Hermione," Harry says, beginning to drag my trunk up the stairs.

I follow him up to his room and sit down on his bed when we arrive there. The tears are coming back and I rest my elbows on my knees and hold my head in my hands. Harry sits down next to me and hugs me again.

He whispers, "I'll always be here for you."

I nod and hug him tightly. "Harry …" I begin to say, pulling back and looking up at him.

"Yeah?" he asks looking at me with concern written all over his face.

"Thankyou for keeping this a secret," I say, looking down at my hands.

He reaches forward and takes them in his and says, "I'll do whatever you want me to do Hermione."

I bite my lip again and say, "Can you stay with me tonight? In the bed?"

He smiles and nods. "Anything for you Hermione. Now, I just need to finish what I was doing outside. Do you want to come down and just sit in the sun?"

I smile back at him and say, "Yeah, ok." I follow him out of the room, my arms crossed over my chest, feeling as though I'm exposed to the whole world, although I'm not sure why.

We walk out into the front yard and Harry continues to do his work on the flower beds. I walk over to the tree and sit down next to it, leaning against it and closing my eyes.

I'm not sure for how long we have been out here but I know I feel much better. I look over at Harry who has just finished and is now washing his hands at the tap on the side of the house. He wipes his hands on his pants and comes back over to me.

"You feeling ok?" he asks, sitting down next to me and placing a hand on my leg.

I nod and say, "What are we doing now?"

He shrugs and says, "Want to go for a walk in the park?" I nod and we stand up. I feel his hand take mine and squeeze it slightly. "You know everything will be alright," he said, looking at me intently.

I nod again and look away from him, down at the path. We walk in silence for a while, still holding hands and listening to the sounds around us. There are ducks in a pond and small children are throwing pieces of bread at them, giggling as the ducks quack in approval. Harry leads me over to an overhanging tree and we sit down next to it.

He naturally slips his arm around my shoulders and I lean into him for comfort. He's so nice to lean into. He cares so much about me …

We don't speak, contented to be with each other. I look up at him and he smiles down at me. I smile weakly back and take his hand and squeeze it. "It's all going to be ok," he whispers, squeezing back.

"Being here with you makes me believe that," I say, resting my head on his shoulder.

"You should. It's true," he says, kissing the top of my head.

We sit there for a while longer, completely in silence, until it is about lunch time. Harry and I stand up and we begin to walk back to Privet Drive. As we arrive we see a large, black car in the driveway. I stop walking, knowing who's car that is.

"It's him," I say quickly, looking up at Harry.

"I know," Harry says quietly. "Wait at the side of the house Hermione."

I nod and walk over to hide behind the house. Harry walks over to the front door and opens it. At once, I can hear my father's voice, clearly irritated and immediately asking Harry where I am. I don't hear Harry say anything for a moment but then he speaks.

"Why do you want her?"

"She is supposed to be with her parents these holidays," father says in a deadly tone of voice.

"And why would I tell you where she is?" Harry asks. I can hear the anger in his voice and can only imagine the look on his face.

"Because I am her father."

I hear Harry laugh bitterly and say, "You don't own her Mr Granger. She's seventeen and very capable of taking care of herself."

"Tell me where she is!" father bursts out abruptly.

Harry stops laughing and I know he is glaring at my father. The next thing I know is that I see my father flying out of the front door and landing in front of his car in a heap.

"If you ever come back here to take her away from me again you'll get what Voldemort got Mr Granger," Harry says dangerously.

My father gets to his feet shakily and glares at Harry. "And what would that be?"

Harry's eyes flash and suddenly my father is on the ground, holding his head in his hands and moaning softly in pain. "That," Harry says softly. "Get out."

My father scrambles to his feet and jumps in the car. He starts the car and speeds off out of Privet Drive.

"Hermione?" Harry says, coming around the side of the house. "Ah, there you are. Whoa!" he exclaims as I throw myself on top of him, hugging him tightly. "What's that for?"

"For everything," I say softly, pulling back and looking straight at his green eyes.

He smiles reassuringly and says, "I doubt he'll be coming back."

"Thanks Harry," I whisper, kissing his cheek and hugging him tightly again.

"As much as I love to hug you, I believe Aunt Petunia has made some sandwiches," Harry says to my ear.

I nod and reluctantly let him go. He takes my hand and squeezes it slightly as we walk into the house. Harry's aunt is standing near the front door, looking slightly worried. Harry's uncle is standing behind her, his eyes wide open with fear and watching Harry warily.

"Aunt Petunia, you have sandwiches for us?" Harry says as we walk past them.

"Yes … yes Harry. In the kitchen," Mrs Dursley says, closing the door after us.


I think that the night I have spent in Harry's arms has been my most restful. I lie here, with Harry's arms around my waist, his warm body pressed up behind me. For the first time I'm not scared that someone will come in and … do something.

And for the first time I'm glad someone is in bed with me. I couldn't be happier about it being Harry.

I wake up in the middle of the night, needing a glass of water. I see a small glass half empty with water and reach out to take it. I guess I woke Harry up because he moves slightly behind me and groans softly.

"What's the time?" he asks his voice low and husky.

I look at the digital clock on the bedside table and say, "Almost three o'clock."

He sighs and lets me go. He sits up and rubs his eyes. "What's wrong?" he asks.

"I'm just thirsty," I say, holding up the glass of water. He watches me drink the rest of the water before lying back down next to me.

"You ok?" he whispers, pulling me over so that I'm facing him.

I nod and say, "This is the first time in … ages that I've felt safe."

He smiles and kisses my forehead and says, "Good. Let's go back to sleep."

I kiss his cheek before closing my eyes and slowly falling asleep.


I wake up the next morning, facing Harry. The first thing I see are his vivid green eyes staring intently at me. I smile and place a hand on his side under the covers of the bed.

He smiles back and rubs my shoulder softly.

The silence speaks more than words ever could. I know he will always be there for me, no matter what. I know I can depend on him.

I open my mouth to voice my thanks but he places a finger on my lips. He shakes his head, his eyes telling me he knows what I am going to say. I smile again and take his hand in mine, in between our bodies. They are hard and calloused from the garden work but they're warm. He squeezes my hand and we lie there for a while looking at each other.

"Should we get up?" I ask, a while later.

"Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon haven't come up here to tell me to get off my arse and make breakfast yet. Maybe they're letting us sleep in," he says with a smile on his face again.

I smile back and roll onto my back. "So, what are we going to do?" I ask.

"Whatever you want to do."

I look sideways at him and see his dazzling green eyes staring at me again. And I know he meant anything.

After a while of just lying there, occasionally talking, we decide to get out of bed. Harry takes his clothing off to the bathroom so I can change into my clothes. I change quickly and wait on the bed for him to come back. He enters the room wearing jeans and a white t-shirt.

"Breakfast?" he says, putting his boxers in his wardrobe.

I nod and we walk downstairs to the kitchen where he makes us both breakfast. We sit in silence again as we eat. When we're finished, we wash the plates and walk out of the house into the sun.

"How about we go off to the park and just spend the day there?" Harry asks, slipping his hand into mine again.

"Sounds like a plan," I say, smiling as we walk off towards the park.

"Mia …" Harry says as we near the park.

"Yes?"

"I'm just wondering. What did you want me to do about your father?"

I think for a moment. I hadn't actually thought about that. What were we going to do about him? "I'm not sure," I say uncertainly.

"I'm just saying, I would do anything for you but I'd like to know what," he says very seriously.

I smile weakly and look up at him. "Thank you Harry. But I think just being here with you is fine. I never want to leave you."

"I never want you to leave," he says softly. We stop walking and Harry pulls me around to face him. "If I had to choose from one person to spend the rest of my life with, it would be you Mia."

He slips his arms around my waist and I slip mine around his neck. "I feel the same," I whisper. "But … I can't deal with anything more than friends at the moment Harry."

He smiles reassuringly and says, "I know. And I don't want to put you in an uncomfortable position now. I can wait for you until after this business with your father is finished."

I lean up and kiss his lips softly. "Thank you," I murmur.

I pull back reluctantly and he takes my hand in his and we walk back over to the same overhanging tree we sat under yesterday. We sit down and I lean against the tree while Harry lies down with his head on my lap. Again, we don't speak much. We just sit there, watching the world. Children run around, playing some sort of chasing game with each other, couples walk around holding hands or lying down on the grass chatting happily. There's a small group of younger teenage girls lying in the sun and another group of around the same age boys sitting a little further off, watching the girls with sort of longing looks on their faces.

"Do you want to report him to the police?" Harry asks a while later.

I shrug and look down at him. "If we talked to them we'd be mixed up in muggle police procedures and then it would go to court and he could be found not guilty."

"Ok, so we don't want to do that?" Harry asks.

I shake my head and say, "It would take too long."

"Well, what do you want to do about him?"

I sigh and look around at the park again. "I don't know Harry."


I never really got over those experiences. I guess, with time I felt better about it and finally, I was able to open up to Harry. He showed me a world or where there was just me and him. He showed me what making love to someone you love with all your heart felt like.

I'm thirty years old now, married to Harry, with three kids and another one on the way. And while Harry and I do have little fights sometimes, I am happy with the way my life has turned out.

What happened to my father?

Well, we did end up going to muggle court. He was sentenced to twenty years in jail. I think he is going to be released soon. But I guess Harry and I will deal with that when it happens.

What happened to my mother?

Well, she committed suicide when I refused to come back home to her. I don't think she could deal with being in that home alone.

I still wake up from nightmares about those times. I wake up in a cold sweat, shaking from all the memories coursing through my head. But Harry is now there to hold me tight and kiss my forehead and tell me everything's alright. I will never forget what happened but I know I will be fine.


A/N: Remember this is a one-shot so please no requests to keep it going. Yes, very, very angsty but meh, when I started writing it I was very depressed. I don't even remember why I started writing it. Anyways, please review! Love you all!

Alex