Henrika- Humor mixed with melancholy in this one. Couldn't resist the min-skirt mention. Enjoy!
He had taken to reading fairy tales.
It wasn't that he admired the whimsical writing or the hero's struggle to beat the dragon and save the fair maiden.
No, Edward read fairy tales because he found them hilarious.
"It's just ridiculous," He would say, "to have a happy ending to every story. And how many times can a fair princess get kidnapped by a dragon!"
He knew if he were in a fairy tale, with Winry as his fair maiden, she would beat any dragon to death with her wrench before she ever needed saving.
Al would still be his trusty brother/sidekick and would point out the obvious things to people who just happened to mistake them. "Um, I'm not the fearless hero. He is" Of course, if it were a fairy tale, he'd be taller. A lot taller.
Mustang and Hawkeye would be the king and queen of the land. Mustang would order him to find the damsel-in-distress. Hawkeye would fire off a warning shot from a gun she had hidden inside her stately dress, reminding Mustang to ask nicely since Ed was the only hero in the land who could. Mustang would grumble, but add a 'please' to his royal decree. Ed would agree with a smirk, then dash off to the rescue.
He'd save Schieska from the evil, librarian-devouring book monster, catch a thief named Psiren who was steadily humiliating King Mustang by stealing the royal stock of mini-skirts, and be declared the tallest hero in the land. Then Winry would show up and smack him in the head with her wrench because he hadn't come to save her (even though she had already slain every dragon who had dared come near her.)
And if it were a fairy tale, Al would be human.
If it were a fairy tale, they wouldn't have the bodies they did.
He thought back on his life, all the horrible things that had happened as he looked at the beaten cover of the book of fairy tales.
And reflected that, even though it was ridiculous, a happy ending wouldn't be so bad.
Henrika-Sigh. Poor Ed.