Champagne and Horserides


Set the night after the events of the season 4 episode "Who are you?"


There was a haze of buttery light when Buffy stepped out for her patrol, the last trickles of sunlight slowly receding into the sky; and by the time she'd reached the cemetery the world was wrapped in a blue-black cloak of night.

She kept her hand pressed to her side, feeling the comforting outline of a wooden stake in her jacket pocket, and as she strode along she occasionally felt a slight jab in the back of her thigh, from the other stake in her back pants pocket.

She knew this cemetery well and paced along with purpose, heading towards the graveyards back entrance, where there were fresh plots. The front area had quickly filled up, which wasn't surprising considering the many mysterious and sudden deaths in Sunnydale.

Though she was vigilant, her eyes instantly drawn to the shadows of crypts and trees, wherever there was a good hiding place, she didn't really except any vamps tonight. Giles had scanned the obituaries and been surprised to note that there were only one or two recent deaths in the Sunnydale area, and none that warranted investigation by the scoobies. It seemed Adam had the towns demon world running scared and lying low, and she couldn't blame them, having witnessed his biology experiments first hand.

But just as this thought was crossing her mind, a twig snapped.

Buffy swung around, her eyes straining upon a large crypt.

Reaching inside her jacket pocket, her hand gripped smooth wood as her legs parted in a fighting stance, all of her muscles tensing as she did so.

Another snap and her heart began to race, thumping rhythmically against her chest she slowly pulled out the stake she was gripping, and continued to stare hard at the crypt, waiting for the lurking creature to appear.

Another moment and a shadow moved across the moonlit pavement. Deciding against waiting, she slowly began to inch forward, raising the stake as she did so.

One more snap, louder this time and a fox darted a little way in front of her, vanishing in a moment.

Her body instantly relaxed, arm dropping to her side as she bought her other hand to her forehead, swiping at a stray piece of hair as she turned around, and took one step into Spike's chest.

The stake rose again instantly, and Spike's eyes widened like saucers: "watch it!" he yelped, taking a large step backwards.

Buffy sighed and lowered her arm again, "Jesus, Spike!" she huffed, begrudgingly pocketing the stake again, "Sneak much?"

He shrugged, "well, yeah actually".

Buffy's eyes rolled as she adjusted her turquoise blue coat, "I thought you were Adam, or a vamp…." She creased her brow and looked at him with an eyebrow raised, "…well, a dangerous vampire, you know – the kind I should actually bother killing?"

He scoffed, pressing his tongue hard into his cheek, "Yeah, yeah" he murmured, glaring at her, "I covered that with the whole 'kitten in a tree' analogy, remember?"

She had already lost interest, briskly walking past him.

"Oy, slayer!" he said, jogging to catch up with her, to be in sync with her purposeful strides.

She sighed, "Kinda hoped that the walking away would be a hint…." She murmured, shooting him a side-ways glance.

He scoffed again, "Well, I was just wondering…." He began, tentatively reaching out with his fingers, touching her hand slightly.

At this Buffy came to an abrupt halt, "Wondering?" she repeated, her voice sharp as she looked up at him, impatient.

Spike gave a small smile and a huffy laugh, looking around him for a moment, his eyes landed back on Buffy, and he moved a little bit closer to her, to which she replied by moving back. "Yeah, wondering if you felt like some champagne….?"

Buffy raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips, "Excuse me?" she asked quizzically.

Moving a little bit closer into her body Spike mirrored her raised eyebrow, and widened his cheeky smile, "….maybe a little ride instead?"

"Is that chip of yours goin' screwy?"

"Come on, Slayer…" his face inched down low, "horsey wants to gallop…" he said, lips moving closer to hers.

Panic gripped her heart, and with all of her force she pressed her hands flat against his chest and pushed him fiercely away from her.

Stumbling slightly Spike looked back up at her, "What in the hell?" he began to mumble, but before he had a moment to gather an insult, her fist connected with his jaw.

"Bloody Hell!" he moaned, cupping his face and stumbling for another moment.

Buffy stepped back; still with her stunned expression she stared at him as he composed himself.

"Oh…" he began to purr, "…Oh, oh oh, I get it!" knowingly he looked up into her face, that odd smile spreading across his lips again as she continued to look on, bewildered.

His back straightened and his lower lip protruded in a smirking pout; "That's right darlin…" he took a few steps towards her, "…Just a little bit more…" continuing to inch forward, his smile grew wider as she raised her fist again, "…I beg you!" he finished.

Buffy shrugged and let loose with another flying punch, this time cracking against his nose.

He doubled over in pain, clutching his face as she raised her fist readily, "and again?" she asked enthusiastically.

"You crazy bint!" he barked.

"Oh!" she scoffed, "I'm the crazy one? What with the champagne and horserides and unsettling proximity?"

Spike looked up, pinching his nose with two fingers his eyes glared, "are you bi-polar or something?"

"Once again with the 'huh'?"

"…Or do you really just run that hot and cold with your men?"

"My men?" Buffy lowered her fist and shook off her defensive stance, standing square on she looked at Spike, a sudden wave of realization washing over her she lowered her head and pursed her lips. "Did I run into you yesterday, by any chance?" she murmured, looking up.

Spike let go of his nose, revealing a dribble of blood on his top lip, "Uh, yeah!…Remember the whole 'I could be famous, have anyone' sexy seductress speech…." Spike looked on at Buffy's increasingly bewildered face and deeply furrowed brow; "….and why are you looking at me like that?"

"It wasn't me" she replied, plainly.

Spike scoffed, threw his head back and let out a throaty laugh before looking back at her; "Oh, poor little Slayer in denial about her hidden desires…"

"No!" she spat, "Spike, that really wasn't me last night"

He began to inch forward again, "Tell me about it, last night I was introduced to your naughty alter ego…" his lip curled slightly and his eyes glimmered, but as Buffy raised her fist again, his inching stopped.

"Listen, drooly…." She began, "somebody stole my body last night in a sort of 'bodyswap' magic trick" she gave a small nod, "really, that wasn't me who spoke to you last night"

"Somebody took control of your body?"

"Well, sort of… I was in their body and they were in mine…"

Spike's eyebrow raised and Buffy clenched her fist again, incase he still didn't believe her. But then he smiled, demonic this time.

"Somebody managed to steal the slayer's body for a night and get up to a bit of trouble in it?"

She looked away momentarily and Spike laughed again.

"Oh God!" Buffy's nose scrunched disgustedly as a thought swiveled in her mind, "…We didn't…?" she began, almost choking on the words- "….I mean, I didn't, but we didn't, right? Right?"

Spike continued to laugh, only stopping when Buffy's threatening iron fist raised again, her eyes glaring with warning.

"Relax" he mumbled, "I only went looking for you tonight to let you down easy…." He raised his chin a little, glad to finally have the upper hand in their conversation, "….came to mockingly refuse your skanky offer", he chuckled again and Buffy sighed with relief.

"Thank-god she had sense enough…" Buffy whispered to herself.

"So, geez - who was it?" Spike asked, unconcerned with her mumblings. Buffy looked back at him. "I would love to shake their hand!" he added.

Buffy huffed, "God, Spike!" she murmured, "…you should have known" she looked him up and down, "…as if I would ever go there!" and with that she turned and began to walk away.

Spike watched her leave, feeling his body deflate; "as if I ever would either!" he called out after her.

She stopped and turned back around a few meters away from him; "oh yeah?" she asked, smirking. "I believe your words were 'sexy seductress'!"

And with that she turned back around, and went on her way.