YOSH! This is my first ever fanfic in (my other fanfics are usually in Winglin) and I am very happy to present this to all of you!
I've been captivated by Shin Koyamada since The Last Samurai where he played a very heroic, brave and cute Nobutada. I've must admit that my first impression of him was "ehh", but it all changed when I saw him smile. sigh
This Short one-shot fanfic is going to be about a young Japanese girl named Namiko and her feeling towards Nobutada, even now after his death.
The song To Where You Are by Josh Groban inspired me to write this fanfic as well. So if you have the song, I recommend you listening to it while you read. If you don't have the song, Its ok... The lyrics are part of the story. This will explain how the main character feels.
Disclaimers: The idea is mine, the writing is mine, and the character, Namiko, is mine. The character of Nobutada is from the movie The Last Samurai. Also, I'm a not familiar with the feudal Japan and the era of the late 1800s in Japan.. As well as the Japanese language. Please inform and forgive me for any mistakes pertaining to it. The song, To Where You Are, is not mine either. So don't sue.. Also, I suck at grammar. Writing helps me understand it more.. If you see a grammar mistake.. Please inform me.
Your Smile by
Namiko's point of view
"Who can say for certain
maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear..."
I felt your presence. Thinking you were there, I turned around but you weren't.I sighed, stood up from my position next to your empty home and walked to the edge of the cliff near our village where I stood watching you for the last time. Images appeared from that last moment. Your head held high next to the American friend and your father. Going to fight for what you believe in, for honor, for justice and for love. I saw you turn around, looked straight at me and smiled. A smile I would never forget. I couldn't forget. I just didn't know that would be your last smile for me.
A small breeze passed me as tears began to fall softly down my cheeks. "Doshite? Why?" I murmured softly. I looked up at the sullen sky for answers but they didn't appear. I stayed at the same spot for what seemed like eternity, but it was only a couple minutes. Again, I felt your presence as another small breeze passed. "Nobutada... If you can hear me. I miss you so much. There are so many things I wanted to say to you," I shouted at the sky, "but the most important thing that I wanted to say is 'aishiteru' ! I love you."
"Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be..."
I listened to the air, hoping beyond hope that I can hear, even a slight notion, from you. I heard nothing. Nothing, except for the small breeze that became a howling wind. The wind blew my hair onto my face, hiding my tears. I closed my eyes as I pleaded, " Onegai, Nobutada.. Let me know that you are here.. Let me know."
Suddenly, I felt a strand of my hair lift off my face. I opened my eyes to see an image. An image of your smile that made me weak in the knees. An image of you. I must be imagining you because I miss you, but I can see you clearly.
"That you are mine
And you are watching over me
from up above..."
I couldn't suppress my happiness when I saw you. You were right in front of me, touching my face with your soft hands. I smiled for the first time since you left. "Nobu-chan.." Your smile spread wider when I said my nickname for you. "I thought I lost you.." You placed your finger on my lips silencing the impossible notion that you could ever leave me. I tried to grab your hand, but my fingers went through. I gasped as I realize that I can't touch you. I looked at your body again and cried, "No.. This can't be? Am I imagining you?" I closed my eyes. When I opened them up again, you were gone.
I fell to my knees and wept for the man I've lost.
"Fly me up to where you are
beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight to see you smile
If only for awhile
to know you're there
A breath away not far
to where you are..."
It has been a week since that incident and I've dragged my body to my normal routine. I've come to realize I won't see you again except in my dreams and I've come to accept that. But, there is not a single moment where I don't think of you. Your smile haunts me every second of my life. Many times, I have thought of being with you, wherever you are, but then I stop and think of what you would say if I have killed myself for you. I know you would be disappointed. So, I'm still alive. I live for you, and you alone. I just wish I knew where you are and at least see you, even for a moment.
That night I dreamed about you, again. You were cradling me in your arms like you used to when we were together and talking about our future. We were sitting under an old tree that stood miraculously, despite the harsh conditions of our land. It was our tree. A tree that represented our love. Suddenly I woke up. I had an urge to go to our special tree. Under that tree is where I feel most comfortable. Maybe it's because I can still feel your presence lingering around it.
"Are you gently sleeping
here inside my dreams
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen..."
The walk to the tree was long and winding.I smiled to myself as I remember why we chose such a far distance for our 'place'It is so no one can go there and claim it. It was our spot. No one else. Finally I got there. I walked cautiously around it, feeling every groove and every mark. The leaves on the tree were swaying with the night breeze. I sat down on the ground resting my head on the tree. I knew I was dreaming again when I saw your head on my lap.
"Ne.. Chibi-usa," you smiled using your nickname for me, "I'm going to make a beautiful home for us here in our special place."
I looked down at you, "honto.. A home of our own.. here.."
You got up from your lying position, sat in front of me, and placed your hand on my face, "There is nothing I want more than to have a home here with you."
"Nobu-kun.." You kissed me lightly on my lips.
I woke up from that bittersweet dream, touching my lips. "I miss you..."
"As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me
I sat under the tree the whole night and possible the day, not caring about anything except the solitude I need. I scanned the whole area just remembering the details of everything. In the corner of my eye, I caught something shining on the hole of the tree. I stood up, looked inside, and felt my way around the hole until I felt something actually two things. I grabbed them and brought them out into the sunlight. It took me a few seconds to realize what they were. It was a necklace and a note. I opened the note. I gasped as I read the note and realize it was from Nobutada.
"To my dearest Namiko,
If you are reading this, that means that I'm gone. But you must know that I am not far. I will always be with you whenever you need me, even if I am not here physically. Being a samurai has been my dream and I got that chance to fight for what I believe in. I know me leaving cost you so much pain, but it was for the best. This is for honor of Japan. You have been an inspiration. You helped me believe in myself. You are what gets me through all the heartache and pain our people has gone through. You made me believe everything was possible and I want to THANK YOU for everything. I'm sorry that I couldn't keep my promise of building you that house. That is the only thing I regret. But I want to let you know I love you. You are truly the only person in my heart. I will cherish every moment I've spent with you. I want to give you something. Near this note is a necklace that belonged to my mother. It was a token of my parents' love. Now I want to give it to you. It will represent my everlasting love for you even after death. I will always be there with you in your heart. I love you so much, My little bunny.
"And I believe
That angels breathe
and that Love will live on
And never leave..."
The tears fell more freely now, but the tears were not of sadness but of happiness. I know that Nobutada will always be with me, even if he's gone. He's in my heart always. I looked at the necklace. It was a jade stone that resembles a heart. I smiled as I put it on." I remember the smile you gave me that last day. It had a secret meaning of the pain that I felt but it also hold the cherish memories that you gave me. I know you're there... and I am only a breath away not far
to where you are"
I looked at the tree one more time. I bowed as I prayed for happiness and prosperity. I turned around and started walking to the village. I looked up to see a little curve on the clouds. I smiled, knowing that was you smiling down on me.
"I love you, Nobutada. Always and forever even after death."
Ok.. I hope you somewhat enjoyed my little short one- shot fanfic. This is my first one here in So be kind.. :P This was a somewhat difficult fanfic to write.. Because I had a hard time starting it.
COMMENT AND CRITICISM