Title : Puddin's Girl

Author : TheMadPuppy

E-mail: themadpuppy85yahoo.ca

Category : Angst/Dark, Romance, Drama

Keywords : Joker, Harley Quinn, Introspection, Sensual Moment.

Spoilers : After Mad Love and their many adventures.

Rating : R

Archive : Yes, just tell me!

Summary : Something was missing, something that should have been at his left, sleeping soundly… what was it again?...Oh, right! Harley! Joker/Harley, One-Shot

Warning: In my mind, Harley never broke up with the Joker and is still and forever in love with him, and Return of the Joker will never happens. Be warned.

Author Notes : My Joker is in-between the cartoon and the comics one. Feedback about how well I portrayed him would be much appreciated (any feedback in fact is welcome in fact. ). This said, enjoy!

Puddin's Girl

He was cold.

The realization hit him like a truck—he was never cold of late. Something was always there to keep him warm, something that was most obviously missing now.

And he hated that. He has never been fully able to sleep well, and boy, he needed some sort of rest now. The last encounter with the Bat has gone from triumph to catastrophe, and the sour taste of defeat still lingered on his cracked lips, hindering his sheer genius to create any other death plan for his nemesis.

If only this damn infatuated feline of his has not shown up…he was so close, so close

His jaw clenched. Tight.

He needed to sleep.

Where was that thing to keep him warm?

Reluctantly, he got up and turned up the light. His room was a mess—purple suit sprawled on the desk, yellow shirt on the floor, clownish gadgets here and there—and he vaguely wondered how it got in such a bad state. Wasn't there something to clean after him lately? He was sure that yes; hell, he knew he was insane, but no demented illusion yet…

And God, where was his dressing gown? It should have been there, neatly folded up on his bedside table…wait, that was false. He didn't ever remembered where he put it the last time he wore it.

This was getting irritating.

Another thought occurred to him—something was definitely amiss. He should have been struggling and shouting against some sort of talking glue—that he knew, it was getting a reflex. From dawn to dusk, and even during night…there was this chatterbox parasite which stuck to him always.

The faint idea that it was related to the heat-keeper thing briefly passed through his mind.

And his back hurt. And he had a headache. And the rain was thundering crazy on his eardrums.

And damn it, he wanted to sleep.

Damn it, damn it, damn it.

He tried to concentrate. The warm usually came from his left; and what was usually on his left at this time of the night?

Oh, right. Harley!

That was it, this explained that. That was why he was cold, why he room was mess, why his dressing gown was missing, why his back hurt and that he had a headache. Harley took care of these peculiar tasks while he pondered on more important matters—killing the Bat, for example.

Now where the hell was she? As soon as he found her, she was really to going to have it. The nerve she had to leave him in this state—or simply leave him!

And, well, how could she? The silly girl was totally in love with him. He knew it. She was delighted to sleep on a dusty broken mattress, under a ruined rooftop, as long as she could get some (disgusting, in his opinion) cuddling from him.

That's right. Harley loved the nights; especially the nights where they were not on a crime-spree and that she could wear this red nightgown of her, trying to seduce her way to his attention and luckily get a kiss or two (he had to give her that, she was persistent. After the number of punches she received instead of kisses, you think the gal would drop it. But no, not his Harley).

And above all she liked to cuddle. Literally, clinging to him like her life depended on it and saying sweet ridiculous nothings to his tired ears, about kids, and settling down, and how he was her Puddin and that he was so fantastic.

Well, the last part was great to hear at least.

You would think if this was this much of a hassle he would have getting rid of her a long time ago. Well, it's not if he hasn't tried… but, as said, Harley was persistent. And dangerous when mad at him. And, well, he had other things to consider first than his fanatical ex-shrink, like, killing the Bat for example.

And she was kinda useful sometimes…when she was there, that is. Not like now.


He didn't bother hiding the anger in his voice. It's not like he had to be careful to keep her: she practically hunted him down no matter what he did. Including shouting madly in a tone that clearly promised the beating of her life.

Wait. Perhaps not. There was this horrible plant woman that she befriended lately, who tried to get Harley to leave him. And the dreadful bat too, seeding doubt in her fragile mind.

Perhaps he should go for a syrup-dripping, honeyed voice.

"Pumpkin Piiiie?"

There. A faint scratching sound at the door—whatever she was doing outside at this hour under the rain? No matter. She was going inside—and he was going to sleep.

He opened the door violently. There was Harley, soaked to the bone and shaking, her make-up rolling down her swollen cheeks.

Swollen. Wait, did he beat her last night?

"Sugar! What happened?"

"Y-you told me to d-do so Mistah J, don't y-you remember?"

"I'm afraid I have a lot on my mind recently Harley, I'm so sorry."

Extra-honey. Her eyes brightened up.

"Come in now, you look miserable. Poor Pooh, let me get you something…"

Great, she was falling for his act. Forgotten the swollen cheeks, the icy night under the rain—she was bouncing and all his again.

"Did something wake you up, Puddin'?"

"My back hurt."

She instantly dropped the towels she was using to dry herself and looked at him with genuine concern in her eyes.

"Oh, really? This is bad; do you want me to take care of it? I can make nice massages, you know…"

She threw a seductive smile for the effect.

Strangely, he was getting accustomed to that.

He smiled.

"You'd be a darling."

The look of pure adoration she had at these words…it was addictive, really.

Time for the killing blow.

"Come here, babe, give daddy a kiss."

She fainted for a split second. Then come rushing into his arms, wrapping her entire self on him—toned arms around his neck, and slender legs on his waist—her sweet, cherry-shaped lips crushing on his never-fading grin. Her tongue was begging for a taste, her dose of Joker's love that she was so desperate for.

He gave in. She'll be blind and deaf to any idea of leaving him for at least two months with that.

She mewled softly in delight when he sucked gently her lower lip, his hand cupping rather roughly her back for support.

Then he broke the kiss. He had to be careful, for Harley was like a vampire; she always wanted more than last time.

"Honey, my back really hurt."

"Oh my Lord! I'm so sorry, Puddin'! Here, lie down, I'm going to make it aaallll better…"

She sat behind him and gently lay him down on her chest, her small but firm bust pressed into his back, and worked her hands down on his spine, her thumbs drawing circles, up and down, up and down, "is it better Puddin'?" and other nothings to his tired ears, slowly moving her hands front instead, massaging more and more sensuously the chalk-white skin of his belly, but careful enough not to cross below the belt yet—she'll only do that if he gave her permission.

It was a rather nice feeling, to be true.

"Tell me Puddin', was your next idea to get down the bat?"

Her voice was soothing.

"I thought about luring him in the Aquarium and let him meet our good friend the shark."

His voice was getting thick. She was really doing a good job at getting him to relax.

"Hmm, I like it. What more?"

The little minx. Taking a lustful tone to say that. Dropping light butterfly kisses on his shoulders as he talked.

"Relax on me Puddin', I'm here…Tell me all about it. Seems so much fun!"

He was getting really excited. The thought of crushing Batman mixed with her expert touch and spicy whispered encouragements was just too much.

Her thumb brushed his waistline.

Sleep could wait.

Puddin's Girl-End

Started and finished on September 10th, 2005.

End notes: I really like this one. Took me much time to start but after the words just flowed out of my hands! I decided to write this piece after watching "World's Finest"—got so much cute moments between Harley and Joker that I couldn't resist writing a more sensual one-shot. . I mean, even them should have their moments…

Thanks for reading!