:AN: Just a word to the wise before you read this; it won't make any sense unless you read it to the end. After that, maybe you can just enjoy it and find it humorous instead of questioning everything, which I am positive you will do the first time you read through it. Oh yes, this is a ONE-SHOT.
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. This… would you call it a plot? Well, whatever it is, it's mine. Oh yeah, and so is Sakura Rakka-Rakkadani… um… I own Sakura too…
Miroku was walking along one day, comrades in tow. He realized how very odd, unusual, and all around outlandish they all were together. Think about it now, a monk, a demon hunter, a fox demon, a cat demon, a half-demon, and a girl in the most bizarre clothing… ever. To unknowing on lookers they must be a sight indeed.
Of course, now that Kagome was sprouting orange horns on the top of her head the staring would just never end. How inconsiderate of her. She wasn't even thinking about the rest of the group when she allowed that to happen. Maybe it happened to everyone in the future? How was he to know? He decided to ask Inuyasha about it later… when he wasn't being a pure white dog, because it would just look strange holding a conversation with a dog, wouldn't it?
But then, suddenly a creepy old woman leapt out of the surrounding foliage. She had big bug eyes, stringy white hair, a terribly arched back and slumped posture which forced her to carry a walking stick, and very tattered black robes. She was a sight to see indeed, even more strange than the company Miroku kept.
Her sudden appearance, of course startled Sango, who then desperately clutched his arm and whimpered in a helpless sort of way. Miroku coaxed her and told her there was nothing to fear; it was just a harmless old woman, after all. Sango did her best to put up a brave front, he could tell, but she refused to look the old woman in the face.
"But you are clearly mistaken," the old woman said in stereotypical creepy old lady voice. She swatted her walking stick at Inuyasha, who was still a dog, because he was sniffing at her. "I am not merely a harmless old woman."
"So you mean us harm then?" Kagome asked, her head tilted inquisitively to the side.
"No," she replied. "I mean you apples." She pulled out a basket that she had somehow concealed in her robes and handed it to Kagome.
"Uh, thank you," Miroku replied with a bow. "But why are you giving us apples?"
"Why shouldn't I give you apples?" the woman asked.
"I can think of a few reasons," Inuyasha said now that he was back in his regular form.
"Oh, so can I," replied Sango.
It was then Miroku realized that Kirara and Shippo were both missing. But he just shrugged, they would turn up eventually. They always did. Suddenly, the apples were missing as well, but nobody noticed, just as nobody saw Inuyasha transform... he just did.
The old woman scowled. "Don't question your elders!"
Sango and Inuyasha looked bashful and stared at the ground.
Miroku asked. "Please m'Lady, what is your name?"
"I," she said with a flamboyant self gesture, "am the great, the all powerful, theall beautiful Sakura Rakkaedanikaerazuhakyoufutatabiterasazu."
The others were clearly lost, as was to be expected, for surely they would have heard of someone so famous. "Are we supposed to know who you are, Miss Rakka… Sakura?" asked Kagome.
"Why, surely you have heard of me!" Sakura cried.
"I am afraid we haven't had the pleasure," Miroku responded.
Sakura huffed. Sango clasped his hand in fear and was, once again, cowering on his shoulder. He found this sudden over-nervousness of hers convenient, but hadn't she always been this way? Actually, he really didn't know.
"I am a famous story teller," she informed them matter-o'-factly. "I can tell you any fable, any tale, any legend. I am the keeper of them all!" She knocked on her head. "I've got them all stored up in the old noggin too!"
Kagome sighed in a depressed sort of way. Inuyasha was dotingly at her side, scowling all the while. "That's all well and good," she said. "But you see, we are bombarded with those things all the time! It's suffocating really, hearing so many fables, legends and stories."
"I agree," quipped Sango, who was clinging to Miroku again. He held her in just his natural sort of way.
"Well," Sakura shrugged. "I understand completely. Luckily I am also quite fond of jokes as well, but being the keeper of jokes just isn't as impressive, is it?"
"No, I suppose it isn't," Miroku responded.
"Well, would you all like to hear a joke?" Sakura asked hopefully.
"Keh," Inuyasha spat. But he sat down and prepared himself to listen.
"Yes, I'm always up for a laugh," Kagome smiled.
"I guess," Sango muttered into Miroku's shoulder.
"Please," encouraged Miroku.
They all eagerly awaited the joke.
"Alright then," she replied. "Well, why did the wily flea cross the road?"
"I don't know," Miroku said, clearly captivated with the innovative joke. "Why?"
She laughed, "Because! The-"
Miroku was jolted awake suddenly, but one word lingered on his half-conscious mind… 'Why?' But he would never know… It was time to return to the real word. Whatever he dreamt would be but a vague and foggy memory. What had he wanted to desperately to know? He could not remember.
No time to think about it, though. There were shards to gather and villans to defeat. To linger on something so pointless would not yield any results.
:AN: Pointless enough for you? I don't know why I wrote this at all. I am quite literally baffled by it.
But did you know that "Rakkaedanikaerazuhakyoufutatabiterasazu" is a real word? It means (according to Jeffery's Japanese to English Dictionary (google it if you want!)): A fallen blossom doesn't return to the branch, a broken mirror can not be made to shinewhat's done is donethere's no use crying over spilled milk.
Yeah, I did my homework.
Now it's time for you to do yours!