The Heart Loves Who It Will by Gina

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Buffy/Tara

Copyright 2005

Disclaimer: I own nothing but enjoy trying to play with the characters a bit.

Feedback: yes please

Distribution: just ask

Summary: What happens when Buffy falls for Tara after Tara helps her deal with being resurrected in season six?

A/N This is my first attempt at a B/T flavored fic, feedback is appreciated.


Sometimes in life one comes upon a quandary; they aren't sure of where they fit in or how to find out just where it is they belong. It feels as if a big rig truck is rolling the mind down a big lost highway, stopping at each intersection to see which way you need to turn.

This was how Buffy Summers felt once she regained her bearings after Willow pulled her out of heaven with the aid of the other Scoobies. She felt this way, until one night after weeks of trying; beautiful sky-blue eyes penetrated their way into the very depths of her soul. They warmed her inner being, made her feel alive again and not with sex or kisses, brutality nor pain. It was just with words of comfort and understanding that Tara Maclay made Buffy Summers live again.

Chapter One

It had been two weeks since Buffy was brought back from the dead. Willow had taken over during the summer of her absence, convincing herself and the Scoobies they couldn't leave Buffy in a hell dimension. The problem was, Buffy seemed dazed and confused upon her return home coupled with sporting a very unhappy demeanor.

This troubled Tara who had helped Willow resurrect Buffy against her better judgment. She couldn't understand why Buffy was so glum and distant; it was as if she didn't want to be in Sunnydale nor with her old friends. This made Tara fear Willow had miscalculated the situation entirely but she tried to push it in the back of her mind as she tossed and turned in the bed she shared with Willow.

Willow was the love of her life but seemed to change since Buffy's death and before that even if Tara had thought about it. During the days of the Scooby gang having to take over Buffy's duties; Willow had grown accustomed to using magic more. She was communicating with them like a drill sergeant to be precise, telling them move this way and that as she would spot out potential dangers from her hiding place. Tara was growing very concerned over this behavior which only worsened as time went on; Willow had begun using magic for everyday life. Tara had not yet brought the matter up to her as they were busy dealing with everyday life matters such as school, taking care of Dawn and the little thing called Buffy is home.

She turned over in the bed once more before she decided to get up. Just because she couldn't sleep didn't mean she had to wake Willow up. Tara got up out of bed and gently kissed her sleeping girlfriend. Willow slept oblivious to Tara's problems, which was another thing that wasn't of the norm. Willow and Tara had always talked, always worked to keep potential problems away but it seemed those days were gone and had been really since Tara's mind was returned to her a few months ago.

Tara walked quietly down the stairs and made herself a cup of tea; being as that sometimes helped her sleep and looked out the kitchen door. The skies were dark except for the dim light of the moon which showed a silhouette of a still figure sitting in the grass. She sipped her tea and focused her eyes enough to see that it was Buffy.

She stood silently watching the slayer for what seemed ages but Buffy never made a single motion of any kind nor glanced Tara's way. Tara then decided she should go out to see if Buffy might want to talk. She pulled on her slippers, made another cup of tea and headed out into the back yard with Buffy making no move to give Tara a sign she noticed her coming.

Tara stood there a few minutes quietly then extended her hand in front of the slayer and offered her the tea. Buffy lifted her eyes towards Tara and accepted the warm drink. She didn't speak but the eyes told it all, they were emotionless and void. "Buffy?" Tara questioned in a hushed voice. "Are you all right?"

"Of course," Buffy said flatly as she looked her hands over which still had marks on them from where she had to dig herself out of her own grave not so long ago.

Tara looked at Buffy's hands also and shivered outwardly at the thought of what awaking in your own coffin must have felt like. "I'm s-s-s-s-sorry Buffy," Tara managed to stammer out feeling bad for the slayer. It was hard seeing Buffy like this as Tara could easily remember the headstrong, determined hero, the soothing friend, the one who could carry the weight of the world. Now before her, sat a lost little girl waiting to be found and maybe not even caring if she happened to be found.

Buffy looked into Tara's compassionate eyes and recalled how they always strengthened her though she never told anyone. Tara was a stronger person than she probably would ever realize and Buffy was surprised that an old memory was swirling its way through her non-feeling inner being in an attempt to reach the surface. How she wished she could feel again, truly laugh again, and most of all, live again.

Tara saw something flash across Buffy's features for a brief moment. She wondered what it was but knew that, if just for an instant, something positive was registering to the blonde slayer. "Buffy, is there anything I could do for you, I mean," Tara trailed off not really knowing what she meant but wanting to help if she could.

"Maybe you can come with tomorrow night on patrol?" Buffy offered softly not knowing why but thought the blonde's company might help her in some way.

"I-I'll tell W-" Tara was about to agree that her and Willow would go on patrol but Buffy cut her off.

"No, just you please?" Tara fully understood that Buffy needed to be alone and not pushed. She needed to have someone there should she decide to talk and Tara probably was the only choice that wouldn't prod her into talking. That was the explanation she quickly came up with as to why Buffy didn't want Willow to be there. "Ok Buffy, just the t-t-t-two of us." Tara genuinely smiled at the slayer and hoped someday soon Buffy would smile back. For once Buffy smiled that classic grin of hers, she could truly say Buffy was home.

- - - - - - - -

As Tara awoke the next morning, she wondered why she was stuttering slightly the night before. She hadn't done that in quite some time that she recalled. She kissed Willow's sleepy face a few times. "We have class this morning Willow and you need to eat breakfast."

"mmmmmm," Willow kissed her back. "I'd much rather stay here. I got cold last night, did you get up for any length of time?" Willow asked as she stretched lazily.

"I went outside and gave Buffy some tea. Willow, I'm going on patrol with her tonight, she asked me to." Tara said leaving no room for argument.

Willow wondered why Tara was invited and not her but decided Buffy just needed a little time and maybe was more comfortable around someone she didn't know as well right now. "Pancakes, sausage and a big glass of juice sounds yummy." Willow smiled at Tara as her stomach decided it was hungry.

"I'm sure Dawn will agree," Tara got up from the bed and trudged to the bathroom to get ready for breakfast.

Willow sat on the bed for a few minutes in an attempt to pick herself up. She had felt dragged out the last couple of days and knew it was due to lack of magic usage. 'just a little something later on will be good' She got up and headed down the stairs where Tara and Dawn were already in the kitchen. "Can I help?" Willow offered more than asked. "Maybe take care of the dishes," she pointed over at the pans Tara was now finished with.

"Sure," Tara said as Buffy came down the stairs. This was the first time she'd joined them for breakfast and it pleased both Tara and Dawn but Willow didn't seem to notice.

"Great," Willow said and waved her hand and the pans were clean, and then breakfast was placed on paper plates with the previous breakfast setting all cleaned up and put away.

"Willow!" Tara said as she turned towards her girlfriend with anger in her eyes. "If you all will excuse me-" Buffy's hand on her arm stopped the blonde witch in mid-sentence.

"Tara don't, eat and deal later." Buffy offered in way of help which made Dawn beam. Her sister seemed more like herself this morning but why was the big question.

"Tara it's ok honey," Willow reassured. "It was just a little practice spell, no harm done." She kissed her lover as Tara begrudgingly sat down for breakfast.

"I think it was childish!" Dawn piped up.

"You're one to talk about childish acts," Willow added angrily. She had promised to keep Dawn's shop lifting secret but was about to blow the big mouthed brat out of the water. How dare she speak against her like that.

"Stop it!" Tara said sternly. "Lets eat then go about our business seeing as we can't be civilized long enough to carry on an adult conversation."

"That's because some of us aren't adults," Dawn said as she shot daggers at Willow with her eyes.

"I wish I had some business to attend to," Buffy said so softly nobody heard her. She then got up from the table, having finished her plate and went out the door.

"That's another thing that needs addressed," said Dawn as she got up to get ready for school. "My sister is just a shell of her former self."

Willow's hand shot out and grabbed Dawn. "Your sister is home! Be thankful, nobody else could do what I did!" She jumped up from the table and ran up the stairs.

"Tara she's really going off the deep end." Dawn said going up the stairs herself.

Tara stood in the kitchen looking out the back door. She felt as if she had really made a mess of things but knew; deep down, none of this was her mess. She only felt the need to help Buffy become more like the person she used to be and not out of obligation or responsibility. She wasn't sure what to do about Willow but something had to be done before it was too late.