Disclaimer: I don't own Ruroken, nor do I own any products which I happen to mention by name (well, I may own the product, but I paid for it, and someone else owns the rights...)



"Hiko Discovers Beer"

It was a warm, sunny day in the forest near Kyoto. Hiko Seijuro, thirteenth master of Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu, potter, and self proclaimed genius at everything, sat basking in the sunlight, tanning his face and nothing else, as he was, as usual, wearing his large red and white cloak.

Hiko was just finishing up his last bottle of sake, and contemplating on whether or not he should buy some more, or just wait until Kenshin showed up and make him go, when a random hole was torn through the space/ time continuum (I have heard the blame can fall on fanfic writers who have no concern for temporal mechanics while writing their little time travel fictions...) and something small and hard fell out of the sky and proceeded to klonk the great Hiko Seijuro on the head. A second one fell, that he managed to dodge... barely.

The huge swordsmaster bit back his automatic response, which would have been to whip out his sword and kill the offending thing, when he realized that it was small and shiny, and not moving. Either it was already dead. Or it had never been alive. Either way, it was a funny looking thing, and since no one was around to watch him, he was allowd to show interest.

He picked one of the funny looking cylindars up and stared at it. The Roman letters B-E-E-R were emblazoned across the can. And something about it being light. Hiko was having a hard time with it. He only knew a little English from one annoying traveler he'd met while training with his own shishou years ago.

Hiko rubbed his sore head. Sure didn't feel light, though. He set it down on a rock in front of him and poked at it with his sheath, just to be sure nothing was going to jump out at him. (And feeling fantastically stupid while doing it. Thank God Kenshin wasn't here to see it...) The thing just tipped over and rolled away.

"Kuso." He got up, chased after it, and studied it again. "What the hell is this thing?" he muttered.

He tried shaking it a little. All it did was slosh and make a funny crackle. "Doesn't sound too interesting."

That was when he finally noticed the funny looking tab thingie on the top. Intrigued, he tried pulling on it.

There was a loud cracking sound, and suddenly the contents of the can did jump out at him, just as he'd feared.

"KUSO!" he roared, throwing the stupid thing into the trees. He stood, feeling like and idiot and dripping the contents of the stupid looking thing. Now he was going to have to get changed. Take a bath. Clean the cloak. "Kuso... the cloak was a pain to wash, too..." This stuff smelled horrible...

Hiko swore under his breath, and almost kicked the other object, when a sudden thought popped into his mind, and a slow, rather malicious grin spread across his face. He picked up the cylindar and studied it.

"Kenshin would be visiting soon..."

And with that thought, Hiko began shaking it hard...

Author's note: Yes, here I am, visiting the land of stupidity once again. This is meant to be a collection of idiotic fics about random Kenshin characters discovering random modern items. There's no reason for it. No logic. Heck, it isn't even written very well. I was just bored, and it seemed funny. So this is what you get. I should sleep before I write...

Oh and one other note, the reference to fanfiction authors screwing up the space time continuum actually is borrowed from Shirou Shinjin's "Out of Time" parody. You really should check it out. It's funny.

Thanks for reading... please review.

Dewa mata!