Disclaimer: Niether Naruto nor Harry Potter belong to me. I'm just a fan experimenting with what would happen if they were combined.

Summary: HP and Naruto crossover. Two strangers show up at number four Privet Drive and offer to take infant Harry off the Dursley's hands causing the destinies of two realities, and one Harry Potter, to change immensely.

Warnings: Very AU for the Harry Potter universe. Possibly altered timelines for the Naruto 'verse (such as ages, and the dates for Orochimaru's defection, Academy graduation and Chuunin exams). Two important OCs. And if people decide to hook up there's no guarantee that it'll be het. . . so m/m and f/f are possibilities. Oh, and there will be Japanese words and phrases used in the fic, even during the sections where English is primarily spoken. While most are more common words and phrases or can be inferred from context there will be notes at the end of some chapters, when the author deems them necessary.

On occasions where more than one language may be spoken at one time this is what is what:




Cyber-"After reading HBP and re-watching old Naruto eps I was struck with the need to write this crossover. I know that similar crossovers have been done before but hopefully not enough to make this cliché. On that note, please enjoy the fic."

Harry Potter and the Ninja Reality


The stench of fresh blood hangs thickly in the air but the lone occupant of the small, dimly lit room doesn't seem to care. He straightens his tall, willowy frame and frowns at the wall, golden eyes narrowed in concentration. His voice is like velvet, soft and smooth, "Unexpected. . . The sigils were correct, and fresh, so why did it fail?"

The wall offers no obvious answer, merely continuing to shimmer ever so faintly within the boundaries of the scarlet marks painted, and still glistening wet, on the damp stone. The man reaches out warily to touch the shimmering stone with a pale hand, the dim light making his pale skin turn a sickly shade of white. When the tips of his fingers touch the stone they disappear through it and create a ripple in the shimmering.

The man snarls in surprise and leaps back, long black hair whipping about his face. He lands gracefully on a table, the metal still stained red, and stares at the stone for a moment. "Perhaps. . . This failure may be interesting." In a fluid motion he launches a kunai at the stone, only to have it disappear through the shimmer. "Saa. . ." With a tilt of his head he tosses another kunai, this time with a cord attached to the ring on the hilt, and watches it disappear as well.

After several moments he tugs on the cord sharply and the kunai comes back through, this time imbedded in the corpse of a mangy cat. The man leaps down from the table and casually pulls the kunai free, not caring about the dead animal a bit, before crossing his arms and contemplating the wall again. "Some sort of portal then? It makes sense considering. . . But a portal to where?" He lapses into silence for several minutes and then ties the other end of the cord to the table before striding forward, knife firmly in hand, "Only one way to find out, I suppose." In a second the room is empty.

The alleyway is dim and rather putrid, several piles of garbage decaying in the heat of late summer. The appearance of the elegant man, white yukata pristine, out of a formerly blank wall is enough to make anyone look twice. Fortunately for the intruder no one is in the alley. Unfortunately his clothing contrasts with the dark surroundings and catches the eye of a passer by.

The passer by, in a rather gaudy blue cloak and robes, smiles brightly when he sees the intruder's clothing and extends his hand, "Hullo good sir! You look a little lost. Perhaps you apparated in the wrong place? The Leaky Cauldron is two streets down."

The intruder tips his head in faint confusion, 'Sumimasen. Donata desu ka.'

"Eh? I didn't understand you just now. I'm Randal Johnson." Randal, sensing that his hand won't be shook, drops his hand and looks more closely at his new acquaintance, murmuring, "That sounded rather familiar. . ." He shakes it off and continues cheerily, "If you're lost I'd love to help. I work over at the Ministry after all. It's my job to help wizards in need."

'Wakarimasen deshita.' The intruder frowns, exotic features twisting unpleasantly. His tone, however, remains very polite. 'Nango hanashimasu ka.'

Randal blinks for a moment then gasps, "Well I'll be! That's Japanese!" He bows clumsily, 'Nihonjin darou? Omae wa?'

The other frowns more deeply, 'That is a most impolite manner of addressing someone you've just met.' After a moment he smiles faintly, 'I am called Orochimaru.'

'Wonderful. Orochimaru was it? Well you can call me Randal.' Randal nearly bounces with delight. 'You're in luck that you met me, seeing as you don't seem to speak English. I'm the aide to our ambassador to the Japanese Ministry of Magic. Do you practice Eastern magics? I'd love to know more about it. I've only met a few of you in Japan and you Japanese wizards are a secretive bunch.'

Orochimaru endures the over excited speech with patience then smiles politely, 'Perhaps you could teach me this English of yours. In return I could show you some of my. . . techniques.'

Randal's smile widens impossibly, 'Splendid! Splendid! I'd love to.' After a moment of contemplation he continues, 'What business do you have in London? We can start after right after you finish. Perhaps over a bit to eat at the Leaky Cauldron.'

'I have no business here. I was simply investigating what was on the other side of the portal.' Orochimaru nods at the blank wall behind him with the almost invisible shimmer.

'A portal! Truly?' Randal steps forward to investigate but slips in a wet smear on the ground. After Orochimaru steadies him, he doesn't see the disgusted expression on the other's face, he lifts his foot to investigate. 'What is this nasty substance I wonder?'

'Blood. Probably from the cat I just killed.'

Randal pales, becoming almost as white as Orochimaru. 'Cat? K-killed!' With a frightened yelp he tries to scramble away, 'Why would you even think to kill a— You're a servant of, of You-Know-Who aren't you!' He attempts to run but is stopped short by the sudden appearance of Orochimaru blocking his path.

Orochimaru looks ever so faintly annoyed, 'I don't know who, I'm afraid. Now don't run away, Randal-san. You promised to teach me your language.'

Randal, in a moment of bravery, attempts to raise a well polished wand but immediately finds his wrist in a firm grip and a sharp blade digging into his throat. Orochimaru's voice gains a bit of a hiss, 'Don't think of attacking me. You have no training and are outmatched. And what can you do with a useless stick?' His laughter rings unpleasantly, 'You will teach me your English. . . And also tell me everything you know about your world. If you are lucky, and cooperate, I'll even try out my new technique on you. I have yet to test it properly.'

Randal struggles, only managing to deepen the cut in his neck, and screams. With a snarl Orochimaru sends him flying through the air and into the wall. Randal immediately crumples to the ground, unconscious. With a little chuckle Orochimaru picks him up and advances towards the shimmering portal, 'I will be more comfortable in my workroom I think.' Without another word he disappears through the wall, dragging the unconscious man along with him. A moment later the kunai, dangling from the cord, also disappears leaving only a faint shimmer in the wall behind.

When others arrive to search the alley for the source of the call for help they find nothing, the shimmer too faint to be noticed by anyone not actively searching for it.

Chapter 1

Disturbances on Privet Drive

Orochimaru smiles faintly at the figure standing near the edge of the trees and calls out, "Anko! Come here please."

The figure, a young woman with wild black hair, turns and, voice brimming with excitement, yells out, "Shishou! Orochimaru-shishou!" With blinding speed Anko races towards Orochimaru and captures the pale man in a hug. With her face pressed against his chest she purrs in delight, "Orochimaru-shishou! You're back!" She pulls back, her smile bright and her brown eyes sparkling, "How was your mission?"

Orochimaru's smile becomes rather forced, the older man clearly uncomfortable with the close contact, but he pets Anko's mussed hair soothingly, "It went well. Have you been training diligently in my absence?"

The young woman nods enthusiastically, "Yes, Shishou. And I've kept the apartment tidy too. And I've made sure to eat well balanced foods and not overdo it with dango."

"Very well." Orochimaru steps back, smiling indulgently, "Show me what you have accomplished." After a moment he adds softly, "Then we shall return home for dinner. I have a surprise planned for you."

Anko steps back and adjusts her gi top, the neckline pulling indecently low, before biting her thumb and forming a rapid set of hand seals, her hands a blur. "Ninpou Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" With the shout she slams her hand into the ground and a cloud of smoke blooms.

Seconds later a massive boa, large enough to swallow a human whole without causing the slightest distortion of its body, rises up from the smoke, its coils looped lazily in a wide circle around Anko. She smiles up at the snake and it inclines its head, the red markings on the scales glittering like crystallized blood, and hisses. "Hello, Anko-child. Master Orochimaru."

Orochimaru inclines his head towards the snake in greeting and praises Anko, "Well done. Far larger than the snake I last saw you summon. Your chakra levels are improving. And it would seem he likes you."

Anko beams at Orochimaru, "Thank you Shishou." Then she bows at the snake, "Th-Thank you as well." The snake laughs, more like a stuttering hiss, at her clumsy attempt but his tail casually caresses her cheek in a pleased manner.

Orochimaru raises his eyebrow, looking faintly surprised, "You are learning the serpent tongue?"

The young woman fidgets, pulling the hem of her top down further over the mesh shorts clinging to her legs, "I well. . . You speak it, Orochimaru-shishou. I want to make you proud of me."

"I am impressed. It is a blessing, and the highest favor the serpents can bestow, to be taught the serpent tongue." Orochimaru lightly leaps over the snake's coils and places his hand on Anko's cheek, "I am proud. Your initiative is pleasing. As is the progress, all of it, you've made in such a short time."

Anko blushes at the compliment and hugs Orochimaru again, "Thank you, Shishou. I'm so glad you picked me to be your apprentice. You're like the father I never had."

Orochimaru sighs and pats her head, "And you, the daughter. But now, dismiss the summon and we shall return home for dinner, and to discuss the surprise." He turns to the snake and hisses, "My thanks for teaching her. It is most pleasing."

The snake laughs again and bows his head, "No need. She is your heir, how could we not teach her? And her talent for speaking and other things knows no bounds. She will be a worthy mistress one day."

The thin mouth twitches into the barest hint of a frown as Orochimaru steps back from Anko, "I am glad to hear that. You may go."

The snake bows again, "Very well, Master Orochimaru. Remember to practice, Anko-child. Farewell." He disappears into a cloud of smoke.

The moment the snake is gone Anko turns to Orochimaru with an eager expression, "What surprise, Shishou?"

"We will discuss it after dinner. Now come." Without checking to see if Anko is obeying Orochimaru turns and walks off. Anko frowns for a moment and then dashes after, bouncing around her teacher with barely contained excitement.
. . .

Orochimaru sips serenely at a steaming cup as Anko bustles around collecting the dinner dishes and washing them. As she cleans the plates she chirps brightly over her shoulder, "Can I hear about the surprise now, Orochimaru-Shishou?"

The cup settles on the table with a small clink. "I suppose. But sit first." Anko nods and kneels on the cushion, across the small table from Orochimaru. She picks up a skewer of dango and nibbles on one, looking at Orochimaru intently. After a moment of silence Orochimaru speaks, "While developing a new jutsu I discovered an interesting phenomenon. A small tear in the fabric of reality that created a portal between our world and another. I intend to explore it and would like for you to accompany me."

Anko grins at Orochimaru, dango forgotten, and crows, "A separate reality! It'll be wonderful to get to visit one. Sounds dangerous, and exciting." She tilts her head, "Do you think it will be like the reality summons come from? The snakes tell me it's a beautiful and very dangerous place."

Orochimaru smiles faintly, "I do not know. When I went through the portal to investigate it I did not go far. It does lead to a city that is inhabited by humans but that is all I discovered there." He sips at his tea again, "I want someone I trust at my side when I explore further. The people there may have unique abilities and power. The man I spoke to did not reveal much, I'm afraid."

"I'm honored to be chosen, Orochimaru-shishou! When shall we be leaving?" Anko's expression is pure glee.

"Tomorrow morning." Orochimaru smiles at Anko, "I have already informed Hokage-sama that we will be leaving on a training excursion. Pack lightly but for several days. I do not know what we will encounter or how long we will stay."

Anko leaps to her feat, "Yes, Shishou! I'll pack right away!" She dashes off across the apartment only to skid to a stop halfway and return for the unfinished dango. She smiles lopsidedly at Orochimaru and quickly disappears behind a door with the dango in tow. As the door swings shut the sign nailed to it with kunai bumps against the wood. It proudly proclaims, in rather extravagant writing, "Mitarashi Anko's room! Enter at own risk!"

Orochimaru's smile becomes rather predatory. "And tomorrow morning we shall discover if these 'wizards' and their 'magic' are as powerful as Randal-san claimed. Perhaps I shall even find something there worth keeping."
. . .

Anko eyes the buildings and people around her with a mix of appreciation, wariness and scorn as she walks down the busy London street after Orochimaru, 'I've never been to a city this big! So many. . .' She wrinkles her nose, 'civilians. Not a single weapon. Honestly, how are they supposed to protect themselves? Even most civilians carry a weapon or two back home.'

Orochimaru returns the stare of a passer by, making the rather large man shift nervously, before responding, 'Perhaps they do not need to protect themselves. This is a different reality. Or perhaps they use taijutsu more than weapons.'

Anko makes a rude sound, 'Right.' She gives a young man leering at her a look over and dismisses him, 'None of these people have the muscle tone to be any good at taijutsu.'

The young man, staring at her legs, bare from upper thigh to ankle, approaches, "Evening, love. How about spending the night with me?"

'What did he just say, Orochimaru-shishou? Do you know?' Anko looks pleadingly at Orochimaru, at a complete loss.

Orochimaru comes to Anko's side, scowling at the young man, 'He propositioned you. I believe he mistakes you for a prostitute.'

Her sneer transcending language Anko laughs, 'You can tell him he's got delusions. He's too weak and pathetic.'

The man's expression darkens considerably after Orochimaru obligingly translates. He gestures to Anko's clothing, a gi top that descends to her thighs and has a revealing neckline over a mesh shirt and shorts accented with wrappings and weapons holsters, "It's obvious she's a whore. My money is good."

Orochimaru responds immediately without translating for Anko, "She is my apprentice. And we neither need nor want your money." His accent is thick but the young man seems to understand well enough. With a nod to Anko Orochimaru continues down the street.

She attempts to follow but the young man grabs her sleeve. She jerks her arm and glares at him but he only twists her sleeve, tugging it off one shoulder. Her snarl changes to a rather unstable and wicked grin and she chuckles, 'You asked for it.' Three strikes follow in quick succession. Her hand connects with his arm accompanied by the crack of snapping bone and two swift kicks, rather light, to his chest and chin send him sprawling.

The small crowd that had been gathering around the altercation scatters quickly, not wanting to get involved with such a dangerous individual, and the young man wheezes on the ground, cradling his broken arm. Anko, meanwhile, calmly straightens her top and pulls out a kunai. She bends over and whispers sweetly, 'Ahou.' before sending the blade into the ground, a hair's breadth from the poor man's nose, with enough force to crack the pavement.

Wearing a smirk at the wide berth the Londoners now give her Anko takes a few quick steps to Orochimaru's side, falling into step behind him as he continues down the street.
. . .

Orochimaru ignores the stares and whispers easily as he continues down the street. He moves with focus, alert to everything around him but dismissing everything as not worth more than a glance. Anko however, basks in the attention, returning stares with her own and whispers with rude gestures. She seems delighted in the new sights but at the same time comparing them to things familiar and finding them wanting. She scoffs in particular at the cars and buses passing by on the road, muttering about lazy asses who can't be bothered to walk. In spite of her seemingly drifting attention she is just as alert to her surroundings.

Orochimaru comes to a sudden stop in front of a large bookstore, staring intently beside it. He makes a soft, contemplative sound and Anko turns to look at him curiously, 'Shishou?' She looks in the same direction. A moment later she blinks, squints and makes a soft sound of realization, 'Genjutsu. Not a very strong one either. Didn't even require the release technique.'

'Yes, very poorly made.' Orochimaru glances around at the pedestrians, 'But more than enough to work against these people. The Leaky Cauldron. The man I spoke to mentioned it once or twice. Perhaps it will provide more answers.' He smiles at Anko, 'Shall we?'

Anko grins, 'Sure!' She pauses for a moment to let Orochimaru go ahead and falls into step behind him.

The interior of the building is rather dark and small. Both Anko and Orochimaru stand inside the doorway for a split second, perfectly still while assessing every object and person in the place. 'A bar.' Murmurs Anko, eyeing two men in dark colored robes and chatting delightedly over half full glasses.

Orochimaru nods, dismissing the other patrons and focusing on the small, old man behind the bar, 'It would seem so. A good place to discover information.'

The old bartender, blinking at the foreign language, waves them further inside, "Good evening. Might you two be travelers?" He eyes their clothing, Orochimaru's yukata fitting in rather well but Anko's being something of a shock, and the packs resting unobtrusively on their backs.

"We are." Orochimaru steps into the tavern, Anko at his heels. He whispers softly to her, 'Be on guard. They may turn out to be enemies.' Anko nods solemnly, contrasted with the grin on her face.

"Welcome to the Leaky Cauldron then." The bartender smiles, showing off his lack of teeth, "My name's Tom." He pauses for a moment, "You've got quite the accent. Where are you from?"

It takes Orochimaru several moments to digest the words and compose his answer then he bows politely, "Japanese, I believe, is what we are called in your English. I am Orochimaru." He settles a hand on Anko's shoulder, "This is my. . ." Orochimaru pauses, searching for the correct word, "Apprentice? I believe that is correct. My apprentice, Anko."

Anko follows Orochimaru's lead and also bows. She then mutters to Orochimaru, 'Two exits, one to the street, another a back door to an unknown location. Stairs leading up to a second floor. No weapons detected. And the chakra of the inhabitants. . .' She frowns, 'It's dim but more than a civilian. And. . . Does it feel odd to you, Orochimaru-shishou?'

Orochimaru nods, 'It does.'

Tom mutters to himself before, "I'll be. All the way from Japan." With a little shake he returns his attention to the pair, "What business do you have here? I can show you the way to Diagon Alley if that's where you're headed."

"Our intent is to explore the beautiful countryside we've heard about." Orochimaru smiles gently at Tom but his eyes remain cold.

"Ah. Sightseeing then. So you've stopped for a bite to eat before you head out? What would you like?" Tom starts to bustle behind the counter.

Orochimaru shakes his head, "We have no money with us. I merely wished to see the place the kind man who taught me your English spoke so often of before we left the city."

The bartender looks incredulous, "No money?"

The laugh is soft but chilling, "Nature requires no money in return for its bounty."

Tom looks on in shocked silence for several moments then shakes his head, "That sort of sightseeing huh? Well, I can't let you go out in the countryside without one good meal in you. It'll be on the house." In quick order he sets out bowls of stew and some bread for both, "Sit and eat then. What would you like for a drink?"

Orochimaru gestures for a bemused Anko to sit and settles his pack beside his own chair, "Thank you for your generosity. Water will be fine."

"Just water?" When Orochimaru nods Tom fetches two glasses of ice water and sets them on the table. "Anything else?"

Orochimaru pauses theatrically and then speaks as if uncertain, "Perhaps you could tell us what has been going on in your country. There have been rumors but it is so difficult to tell truth from falsehood."

Tom nods sympathetically, "The situation with You-Know-Who then?" He lowers his voice and sits down, "I can't tell you much but I'll tell what I know. Wouldn't do for you to get killed by one of his followers."
. . .

The street is unnaturally dark, all the street lamps inexplicably out, and it is near impossible to see anything. The conditions are rather ideal for Orochimaru and Anko, slipping through the deepest shadows as if born to them all the while watching the pair speaking down the street. Anko whispers, so softly that even the sharpest hearing would have to be strained to hear her, 'Shishou?'

Orochimaru flickers into another deep shadow, moving fast enough to blur, and whispers back, 'Closer. I wish to hear them clearly. Their conversation may be of interest.' He makes a motion of his hand and Anko nods assent. Orochimaru leaps to the top of the street lamp with inhuman grace and power and perches for a moment before leaping to the next. Anko follows and with prodigious leaps they make their way closer, over rooftops and street lamps, in complete and utter silence. They come to rest in the shadows of the house marked number four, in hearing distance but easily out of sight.

And just in time to hear the stern woman say to her elderly companion, "As I say, even if You-Know-Who has gone—"

Anko gives Orochimaru a questioning look but he shushes her silent questions with a raised hand, concentrating intently on the conversation. She settles further into the shadows and they both subside into perfect stillness until the woman mentions the rumors flying around. Orochimaru perks slightly, a glitter in his eyes.

As the woman, becoming more upset by the word, recounts the fates of a family called the Potters the glitter remains. When she mentions the Potter's son and how he couldn't be killed and somehow vanquished the great, evil man called Voldemort the glitter in Orochimaru's eyes becomes a spark and a cold smile blossoms on his lips.

At that moment her companion says, somewhat resignedly, "We can only guess. We may never know."

The woman shakes her head, "I still can't quite believe it, Dumbledore. I mean, his powers were growing by the day according to the rumors. That horrible murder just last week. Poor Randal Johnson found dead after being missing for so long. They say Voldemort must have set a snake on him and that there was a mark near the bite that no one's ever seen before. How could a little boy break such power?"

"That," the man revealed as Dumbledore says softly, "was not the work of Voldemort. It is confirmed to be the work of an unknown wizard, I'm afraid, Professor McGonagall."

Professor McGonagall pales slightly, "You mean. . ."

"Another dark lord?" Dumbledore shakes his head, "Perhaps. Nothing is known about the spell that killed poor Randal except it is completely unheard of and very dark. We still don't know the who, or the why. We may never find out." With a sigh he checks his watch, an odd golden one with no numbers, "Hagrid's late. I suppose it was he who told you I'd be here, by the way?"

As Professor McGonagall answers, Orochimaru smirks from the shadows, clearly pleased by the latest bit of conversation. Anko gives him another questioning look but is gestured into silence once again. She frowns but obediently remains still and silent for the rest of the conversation, not even starting when the large motorcycle drops out of the sky in front of the two speakers. Her expression becomes more and more curious as the conversation comes to its close and a baby, wrapped in blankets, is placed on the doorstep.

It isn't until the lamps relight suddenly and the three disappear, however, that either move from their, greatly diminished, shadow. Anko stands up, stretching, and looks demandingly at Orochimaru, 'Shishou, what was that all about? Why'd they leave a little baby behind like that?' She frowns, clearly not agreeing with leaving a child unprotected on a strange doorstep.

Orochimaru frowns as well, more in thought than displeasure, and speaks softly, 'That child, I believe his name is Harry, is an orphan. An evil man killed his parents and those people are leaving him with some relatives, a rather unpleasant family I gather, because they have no other choice. The boy is apparently quite powerful and from a well respected clan. This Voldemort,' Orochimaru stumbles over the name, 'apparently was broken, and is now "gone," in the process of the murder and left the boy the only survivor.' Orochimaru pauses, 'Though, I could have misheard.'

Anko sighs, obviously saddened by the explanation, 'Poor boy. To have his family killed, I know how much that hurts.' The sadness turns to indignation, 'But really! To leave a child unprotected on a doorstep like that. Don't they care? He could be killed, or stolen. . .' She trails off.

'You feel for this boy.' Orochimaru smiles and pats Anko's head, 'Yes it seems most careless to leave this Harry like that and if the relatives are as unpleasant as I was given the impression. . . Harry's young life seems to have taken a most severe turn for the worst.'

'Orochimaru-shishou.' Anko fidgets just a little, 'Couldn't we. . . I mean, if he's powerful he'd be an asset to Konoha. And no ninja would treat a child like this. . . Even that child is being cared for. And from what you've said. . .'

Orochimaru smiles indulgently but the glitter is back in his eyes, 'You wish to take him home with us.'

'No child should have a bad childhood if it can be prevented. If you hadn't taken me in after. . .'

'After your last living relative was killed by the kyuubi. . .' Orochimaru embraces her briefly, 'I agree. But, it would be unfair to rip him away from his relatives if they want him and will care for him. If they don't, however.' Orochimaru's eyes glitter coldly and he bites his thumb. A moment later a tiny viper is curling around his arm, looking at him intently. Orochimaru hisses, "Watch over that boy and protect him from harm, but do not let yourself be seen by the family in that house. Report everything you witness to me when I return."

The viper nods eagerly, "I will do as you command, Master Orochimaru." With that it drops to the ground and slithers over to the pile of blankets, curling up on them and immediately disappearing from view.

Orochimaru nods to Anko, 'We will continue exploring and return in a few days. If the report is negative we will take him home with us. Now, let's go.' The two disappear in a rush, leaving no one the wiser.
. . .

In the evening light Anko and Orochimaru come to rest in the yard of number four, leaping down from the rooftops. Anko looks eager, nearly bouncing with anticipation. Orochimaru, on the other hand, is the picture of serenity but his eyes glitter coldly as he calls out, a soft hiss.

A few minutes later, spent with Anko twitching with impatience, the tiny viper slithers across the grass to Orochimaru. Orochimaru lifts up the tiny snake and hisses, "Report."

The snake nods, "Yes, Master Orochimaru." It curls itself in his hand and raises its tiny head, "The woman screamed when she discovered the child. There was much commotion and the letter was read. Then the woman and the man both smelled of fear and disgust. The woman does not touch the child unless there is no other way around it. She is constantly nervous. The man speaks in many harsh and angry words. He does not touch the child at all. The other child does nothing but prod and shove. And that child always gets the larger portions of food. The child is often hungry but is ignored and never comforted when afraid. When he cries there is often yelling." The snake pauses, "Do you wish to hear more?"

Anko, listening intently to the speech, whoops very quietly, 'We get to take him home!'

Orochimaru smiles indulgently at Anko, 'Yes.' He turns back to the snake, "Thank you for your service. You may go now." The snake nods again and disappears in a puff of smoke.

'So, Shishou, what is the plan?' Anko looks expectantly at Orochimaru.

'We offer to take the child from them. It is best if they give him to us willingly. If they do not, however. . .' Orochimaru trails off.

Anko smiles wickedly at the implication. 'We take him by force.'

Orochimaru's eyes glitter again, 'Yes.' With a nod to Anko he walks up to the door and knocks.

A rough, and irritated voice yells out from inside the house, "Coming!" The door opens to the sound of muttering, "Better not be a salesman. What decent person comes knocking at this time of night?" However, when the large man inside catches sight of Orochimaru he stops dead and goes utterly white.

Orochimaru pretends not to notice and bows politely, "Good evening, sir."

The man's voice comes out in a strangled squeak, "Wh-What d-do you want?"

There is a minute of silence as Orochimaru attempts to figure out what is being said through the stutter. Then he smiles, at which the man shrinks back, and says softly, "Only to speak with you on an important matter."

Silence again descends, the man staring in utter shock and fear. From inside the house a woman's shrill voice, sounding harried, calls, "Who is it, Vernon?"

Orochimaru smiles again, "May we come in?" Rather than waiting for an answer he slips inside, followed by Anko, too quickly for the man to react.

With two strangers now in his house Vernon finally reacts. His white face turns red, edging towards purple, and he roars, "How dare you come in my house without permission! I don't care what you want. Get out of my house, freaks!"

Orochimaru ignores the rant, walking further into the house and passing the stunned woman, her mouth opening and closing like a dying fish. The chubby boy on her hip senses her fear and begins to cry. Orochimaru sneers but doesn't stop. Only when he reaches the living-room, now occupied only by a small boy in an overlarge, and very, very worn outfit, does he pause.

Anko, following on his heels, immediately crouches in front of the small boy and coos, 'Hello baby. We're going to be taking you home soon.' The baby makes a small sound of distress and she immediately picks him up, frowning when the outfit nearly falls off. The distress immediately becomes a happy chortle, small fists waving at Anko's face. She coos again, easily shifting the baby to one arm, and tickles the small chin. 'Such a cutie!' She doesn't at all shift in Orochimaru's direction but it is obvious her focus is on him, 'Only a few days here and already attention deprived. Do you think it would start a war if I killed them all?'

The very soft laugh in response to the venom in her voice makes Anko smile. Orochimaru shakes his head, 'It would be better to let them live. If only for the fact that that pig of a child will most likely eat them out of house and home one day.' Anko laughs loudly and turns to stare defiantly at Vernon as he enters the room.

Vernon, his wife and son peeking out from behind him, attempts to tower over the rather small woman but deflates under her stare. He sputters for several moments. When he finally manages to speak coherently his voice is rather weak, "Get out. Put the brat down and get out."

Anko coos at the child in her arm again before spitting out at Vernon, 'I could kill you right now but Orochimaru-shishou said not to.'

The woman quails at the venomous voice and whispers, "What did she say?"

Orochimaru smiles, a rather dangerous looking one, and says, very politely, "It is enough to say that she is most upset with your treatment of the child."

The woman, rather on edge, snaps, "What would you know about it!"

"We have been watching over you since we witnessed the child being placed on your doorstep." Orochimaru steps toward Anko to get a closer look at the baby, 'His hair is as untamed as yours, Anko.'

The woman takes a step towards Anko but Vernon grabs her arm, muttering, "Petunia, don't."

But Petunia shakes him off, "What gives you the right to spy on us? How dare you, you abnormal. . . freaks!"

Orochimaru's smile appears on the surface to be indulgent but underneath it's more of an annoyed grimace. He doesn't turn from his studying of the baby, and his voice is barely over a whisper but still rings clearly in the room, "What gives you the right to deny your own blood kin love and affection?"

Both adults go rather pale and stutter at question. It is Vernon who recovers his voice first. The wary tone undermines the threatening words, "Get out or I'll call the police on you."

"No." Orochimaru straightens, "We have an offer for you. It is clear you don't want, nor love, this child. But after the unfortunate events that forced him into your care he does need a home. If you allow it we can gladly provide that and you never need bother with even thinking about the child again. A most advantageous arrangement for all of us. A loving home for the child. The removal of a nuisance for you."

For several long moments there is silence. Vernon seems to be seriously considering the offer but Petunia becomes most upset. "No! I can see what you are! Wizards! Like my sister, freaks. We swore we'd make sure he'd never become one of you the day we took him in!"

Orochimaru raises an eyebrow, "I am no wizard. If I was do you think I would knock on your door and ask you to give us the child?"

Vernon speaks up, "If you're not a wizard, what's in it for you?"

There is a pause and then Orochimaru smiles softly at Anko and the child, "He'll make a fine grandson. Any family would be proud to have him." He looks at Vernon and gestures at the pair, "I'm sure you can see the already forming bond between them."

Vernon wavers for a moment, "So if we agree you take him away and we never see him again?" The eagerness to be rid of the child is obvious in his voice.

"Most certainly. Even in the unlikely event that the both of us were to die he would be given to another family in the village rather than be returned to you." Orochimaru allows tiny fingers to wrap around one of his.

"You promise?"

"You have my word." Orochimaru smiles predatorily at the family, "You can have legal documents drawn up if you wish."

Vernon starts to speak but Petunia interrupts, "Vernon! Even if he is a freak like my sister we can't just go and hand him off to complete strangers! It isn't right."

Anko, even though she doesn't understand the conversation, recognizes the protests and snarls wordlessly in Petunia's direction. Orochimaru places a comforting hand on her shoulder and counters, his voice still as soft, and gentle, as ever, "And your treatment of the boy these past few days is? You must admit that he would be better off almost anywhere else. We will raise the child in a loving, safe, home with discipline and honor. He won't want for anything at all."

It is Petunia's turn to waver. She looks at the boy, just a touch of caring making its way past the prejudice in her eyes, "Well. With Dudley I can't really spare the attention another young child needs. . . And I really don't want such an abnormal child growing up so close to mine." Her rationalizations are quite flimsy but everyone in the room is willing to accept them.

Orochimaru's smile is quite triumphant, "Now that that is settled. Perhaps a few details about the child before we go. His name and birthday and such."

Petunia attempts to hide her eagerness, though mixed in with apprehension and a little guilt, "His name is Harry, Harry Potter. His parents were Lily and James. His birthday is July thirty first. Anything else?"

"No. That is quite adequate. Thank you." Orochimaru starts towards the doorway, "If you wish to say goodbye, now is the time." Both adults shake their heads and Orochimaru calls to Anko, 'Anko, come.'

Anko smirks at the family as she leaves, making baby Dudley cry again. Petunia shushes the boy and then, as the pair are about to leave she calls out, "What would you have done if we had said no?"

Orochimaru's smile is chilling, "We would have taken him by force. My apprentice was rather adamant about killing you." In the next moment both Anko and Orochimaru are gone from sight, the front door standing open to the empty street behind them. Vernon and Petunia stare at each other ashen faced.

A moment later Petunia bursts into tears, "What have we done!"
. . .

As she leaps across the rooftops Anko coos again at the child in her arms, the small boy seeming to enjoy the ride. She questions Orochimaru curiously, 'So, what's his name again?'

'Harry.' Orochimaru frowns a little at the name.

Anko scowls, 'That won't do.' She coos at Harry, 'We'll need to give you a good, strong name, baby. Something with haru in it I think.' After several moments of contemplation she says, 'Hmm, what about Kazuharu? We can call him Haru for short.'

Orochimaru nods, 'A good name. Now let's head home. It would seem Kazuharu is the only valuable thing in this world.'

Anko whoops, 'Yes sir!' She picks up the pace, grinning madly, and crows to the newly renamed Haru, 'Come, Haru-chan! Let's go and show you your new home!'
. . .
. . .

Cyber-"There it is. The end of the first chapter of my crazy crossover. I would love to hear your opinions on it so please leave a review or three."

Japanese note: a few loose translations of the conversation between Randal and Orochimaru

Sumimasen. Donata desu ka. – Excuse me. Who are you? (polite)

Wakarimasen deshita. – I don't understand what was just said. (also polite)

Nango hanashimasu ka. – What language are you speaking? (again, polite)

Nihonjin darou? Omae wa? – Japanese, aren't you? You are? (very informal, almost crude)

Ninja related terms:

Ninpou Kuchiyose no Jutsu: Ninja arts: Summoning technique

jutsu: technique

taijutsu: martial arts, hand to hand combat

genjutsu: illusionary or hypnotic techniques

I believe that covers everything that isn't common knowledge, though if you have a question concerning a term please ask. Also note that I am not a native speaker of Japanese and therefore there is the possibility of grammatical mistakes.