Hey-llo readers. Its me, Twin-Kitten(fanfic) and Tikigurl(adultfan). I am back with yet another Kiotr story. This one has more of a plot than my other Kitty/Piotr stories and it is also going to be fairly humorous. Or at least I hope so... My humor can be confusing. If so just ask a question in a review. I love reviews even if they are only questions*Grin*.

Okay now here is all the stuff I have to get out of the way before I start the story:

Summary: This is how I think Piotr joined the X-Men at the end of the fourth season. It shows him in the group picture at the end but they never say how he joined, so this is that story. Of course he will interact with Kitty and the other X-Men. Remy/Gambit left the Acolytes and joined the X-Men before Piotr. This one looks like it will be long, so settle in for a bit.

Disclaimer applies to all chapters: I do not own X-Men. I do not own any brand names or trademarks that might be mentioned in this story. Basically, if you recognize it, it doesn't belong to me. If something does belong to me, I will tell you.

Warning: none so far

NOTES: When someone is speaking another language or something needs a translation I will put it inside these. I am using /slashes/ to tell when scene changes or when there is a break in the story. If you have read any of my other Kiotr stories, you should know how to read Piotr's accent. If not, I am putting a little list of words he commonly says and mispronounces so that you can get a little cheat sheet.

Basic translations when Piotr is speaking:

Ekaterina = the closest that Piotr can get to Kitty's real name, Katherine

Keetty/Keety = Kitty

Ketten/Keetan = Kitten

Vhat, vas, vhere, vhen, ect… = What, was, where, when. (Most W sounds translate into a V, including 'One' which becomes 'vone'. 'Who' does not become a 'V' though.)

Zhe, Zhere, Zhen, ect… = the, there, then, ect.. (Same as the W=V combo, only this is a T=Z. Not all translate the same. 'Talk' does not become 'Zalk')

Moost, troost, mooch, joost, boot= Must, trust, much, just, but. 'U' sounds become 'OO' sounds… Like 'Moo'

Don', won', ect… = Don't, won't

Leetle = Little

Preety = Pretty

Und, um = And, am

I hope that the list helps, and if not, Sorry. *shrug*

As an additional note, I am tweaking the Apocalypse episodes slightly. The Acolytes still worked with the X-Men but Kitty and Piotr didn't work together personally.

/Chapter 1

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/Story starts below

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Kitty Pryde was sitting in the rec-room, tapping on her laptop as she worked on her essay comparing different types of governments. She knew enough about Democracy to write the required amount, but Socialism and Communism were harder for her. Rogue was trying to help because she had the same assignment the year before, and in return Kitty was helping Rogue set up the computer she had gotten for her birthday. But the fact that Remy was currently doing his best to get Rogue's attention, meant that Rogue was getting more and more annoyed and not helping Kitty much.

Kitty was just about to phase Remy through the floor when the intercom connected to the front gate buzzed. With a sigh of relief and glad for the break, she set the computer on the coffee table and escaped from the two southerners. Opening the hidden panel she was about to push the button that would open the gate when she glanced at the tiny black and white screen that showed who was standing there.

With a gasp she mentally yelled for the Professor, and yelled for Rogue and Remy. Colossus was standing in front of the gate dressed in his Acolyte uniform. The screen was too small to see his facial expression but he kept turning and looking around as if there was someone else with him, or he expected someone to pounce on him.

"Guys, is that who I think it is?" Kitty pointed at the screen and let Remy and Rogue lean in close to see. Remy straightened from where he had bent to look, with a slow smile.

"If you t'ink dat it is Remy's ole' team mate. Den you be t'inkin right… I wonder what Petey is doin' here?" Remy headed for the door just as the Professor, Logan, Ororo, and Scott appeared.

"Until we know what he wants, Gumbo, he's not commin' in. Got it?" Logan growled stepping in front of Remy and opening the door, making himself the first one out side. Xavier shook his head and added his own comments. "We are not going to initiate any violence unless we are forced to. It is possible that he is just here to speak to Remy, or he requires help of some kind. Everyone," He looked at Logan with a warning in his eyes, "is going to behave themselves."

As the group approached the gate, Scott voiced a concern. "Professor… If he wasn't here to fight, why did he wear his uniform? I don't think he is here in peace…"

Remy snorted and muttered under his breath and Scott glared at him. Xavier sighed, confrontations like this had occurred frequently between Remy and Scott. "Scott, please do not draw conclusions based on his clothing. Our own team often wear their uniforms on peaceful missions."

Scott sighed but fell back with out any argument. They reached the entrance and Ororo punched in a code that made the two gates swing open. The large Russian stood on the other side and he was looking very nervous at the group that answered his buzz.

"Hello Colossus. What brings you to our home?" Charles asked gently, watching the young man's reactions. He didn't pry into the mutant's mind, but he could feel the unease that Piotr was projecting, as well as an odd emotion that Xavier couldn't place. It was almost a feeling of embarrassment, shyness, and worry.

The man shifted on his large feet looking through their ranks until he saw Remy. Then, as if encouraged by the fact that Remy was accepted among them, he spoke. His voice was soft, deep, and had a heavy Russian accent. "I have left Magneto, und I vish to join vith you. If I vould noot be velcomed I have favor I need ask."

Without waiting for permission, Remy pushed past the others and went to his friend's side. The two males spoke to each other in low voices and Charles spoke up. "Of course you will be welcome here Mr. Rasputin. We have extended the offer to you before, but you refused. May I ask why this has changed?"

Piotr looked at the Professor for a long moment before he turned speaking rapidly in Russian. The X-Men watched in confusion for a moment, trading looks. But then the bushes rustled and a small girl with long blonde hair appeared. After a moment of her half hiding, Piotr spoke again, his Russian rolling off his tongue with a gentle coaxing tone.

The girl crept further out from around the bushes, her eyes wide as she stared at the group of adults and teens. She was dressed in a pair of white pajamas, a shirt and pants, that had brown bears prancing around. She looked about 4 or 5 years old, and she was barefoot. After staring at the group a few seconds she ran to Piotr's side and tugged at the fabric of his pants.

She babbled at him in Russian, her voice small and childish, and Piotr chuckled seeming to forget the X-Men were watching. He bent and lifted the small girl into his arms and her tiny hands went around his neck, her face hiding in his shoulder. He turned back to the X-Men, his smile gone, but one of his hands was gently rubbing up and down her back lovingly.

He started to speak slowly in English, his words careful. "Magneto killed mine mozher und fazher, or I vould send Illyana to zhem. Zhe farm vas already taken back by government of Russia, I have no vhere else to go, und I von't give up Illyana to American orphanage." Piotr nuzzled his cheek against the blonde head that was so trustingly tucked against him.

"I need make good on bad zhings I did for Magneto. I vant be good man again, und I need take care of Illyana." Piotr looked at Xavier, who could do nothing but nod in welcome. Ororo, Kitty, and even Rogue were putting off vibes that went along the lines of… 'Awwww… How cute!'

"Very well Mr. Rasputin. Both you and Illyana are welcome here. We have a few children who are around the same age, and I'm sure she will never lack for babysitters." Xavier smiled and the whole group began to move back towards the Mansion, with Piotr following.

Logan dropped back until he was walking next to their newest addition. Glancing at the girl's blue eyes that peeked at him, Logan smiled at her. Turning his attention to Piotr, Logan glanced away as he spoke. "So… The kid is what Mags was holding over you?" Piotr nodded and Logan grunted. "What happened? I don't think ole' Mags would just let you or the girl go…"

"He vould noot." Piotr agreed, "Magneto took Illyana from mine home in Russia, brought her to America und hid her. He make me come or he say he hurt her. Night before todaylast night… I find her, und take her from house vhere zhey keep her. I come right to here vith out stop for anyzhing."

Logan looked at the kid. She was sleepy, slightly dusty even though Piotr had probably carried her the whole way, and she looked like she had been pulled out of bed during the night. Piotr didn't look that great either. Now that he was close enough Logan could see how tired he was, and he could smell stale panic on the girl.

"Is she yours?" Logan asked. Usually he could smell how people were related, but both of them were covered in each other's scent from traveling all night and most of the day together.

Piotr looked at him in warning and he shifted the girl further away from Logan. "I vill noot let you take her avay." The young Russian looked like he was prepared to fight Logan and anyone else who attempted to take the girl from him.

"I don't hurt kids, Tin Man. No one here is going to take her from you or try or hurt her. I was just askin." Logan gruffly replied, watching as Piotr relaxed as they entered the mansion under the eyes of other students. When they started to go up the stairs Logan heard Illyana whimper and watched as Piotr spoke softly in Russian.

When the young girl responded with a soft mumble, Piotr paused on the steps. "Illyana iss hungry… She hasn't eaten since night. I also um hungry." The Professor was in the elevator but every one else turned on the stairs to look at Piotr. Ororo nodded and started back down the stairs.

"Scott can tell Charles what is going on and they can help prepare Peter and Illyana's rooms. Remy can show Peter the kitchen and after they eat he can show them around. Then since Pete and Illyana don't have any clothes or necessities tomorrow I can take them shopping with whoever else wants to go. Hank can loan Pete some clothes and Illyana can borrow from one of the other children so that they don't draw as much attention." Ororo handed out orders like a general and for a moment no one moved. Then in a flurry of activity everyone began to go about their business.

Kitty ran down the stairs to the rec-room quickly shutting off her laptop and packing up her homework, shoving it in her backpack and rushing up to her room. Dumping her things at the foot of her bed she began to sort through her closet, throwing shirts and pants aside. Rogue walked in on a war zone where the clothes were the victims.

"Kitty, what are ya doin'?" Rogue watched her like she was in a zoo.

"I have to find, like, the PERFECT outfit… What do you think of this shirt?" Kitty held up a blue shirt that had a swirly design on it.

"What is the 'perfect outfit' for?" Rogue shrugged at the shirt before laying on her bed and grabbing her book off her nightstand.

"I want to go shopping tomorrow so I need to have a cute outfit." Kitty didn't meet Rogue's eyes and turned to search for another shirt.

"Oh, ya mean ya want to go shopping with Remy's friend…" Rogue drawled slowly watching Kitty blush lightly.

"NO!" Kitty held up another shirt and Rogue shook her head. "I just want to help pick out clothes for that little girl… Illyana." Kitty picked out a yellow shirt that had a butterfly design fluttering at the neck line.

Rogue gave her a thumbs up as she continued to tease Kitty. "Kitty, ya don't even believe yourself. Just admit that ya want to go with tall, dark, and Russian."

Kitty had changed shirts and was pulling on a slim dark pair of jeans. "Shut up Rogue. Hey! Why don't you come?" Kitty wiggled her eyebrows, "Remy's coming…"

Rogue glared at Kitty and started reading her book, while Kitty finished getting things ready for tomorrow. When she was finished she waved to Rogue and scampered down the stairs to go spy one Piotr and his little girl.

When she reached the kitchen, Kitty sighed at the sight.

Piotr and Illyana had both bathed quickly, while Ororo had been making food and Logan found clothes for them. Piotr was dressed in odd fitting clothes that belonged to Hank McCoy, while Illyana wore clothes that were too big for her and had flip-flops on her feet.

Illyana sat on Piotr's lap in one of the kitchen chairs. There were two plates in front of him, a large one and a small one, each with hamburger helper. Illyana's plate looked like it only had about a scoop, while Piotr had the rest.

As Kitty watched, Piotr ate with his left hand, his right arm around the little girl's waist, holding her steady while she tried to feed herself. Every now and then she would miss her mouth and Piotr would set down his fork to wipe her chin and hands. She had a napkin tucked in the front of her shirt and one on her lap as well, for when she dropped a piece of food.

When Illyana was done she turned and tucked her face against his shoulder, one of her hands on his cheek as she fell into a nap. Piotr continued eating until all the food on his plate was gone, faster now that he wasn't helping Illyana. When he finished he piled Illyana's plate onto his and stood, holding the girl with one arm and picking up the dishes with the other, and carrying them to the sink. Ororo took the dishes from him.

"Mine zhanks, Miss Monroe. It vas very good. 'Yana vould say zhank you if she vas avake." He chuckled and Ororo smiled.

"I'm sure she would Peter. Remy can show you up to your rooms…" Ororo offered, her eyes on the sleeping girl.

Piotr thanked her for the offer. "I give mooch zhanks for your help."