Fool Me Twice, Shame on Me

Samantha and Daniel are forced into an offworld marriage, and things go downhill from there. Not episode specific. Thanks to Meriem Clayton, who's 'I Did Say I Do' gave me the idea for this fic… call it even for Keeping up Appearances 

And I am in no way affiliated with MGM, the SciFi channel or anyone affiliated with Stargate. If I were, I'd be writing scripts, not fanfiction. I write for my own pleasure and anyway, I'm a poverty-stricken student, it's not worth suing me over.

Chapter One

Colonel Samantha Carter just knew as soon as they set foot on P4X-261 that it was going to be a bad trip. The first people they ran into – men, no less – reminded her of the Mongolesque tribes they had encountered early in her experience with the Stargate program. Samantha would never forget one of them in particular, Turghan, for as long as she lived. Talk about archaic…

She was reminded of Turghan when she met these men. A group of them greeted them near the Stargate, apparently having been informed that the giant circle had been activated and people had come through.

They had taken one look at Samantha, shared a Look between them, and proceeded to talk in the general direction of the men. They spoke something resembling English so, not needing Daniel to translate, Jack took charge of the situation.

"I am Macah," the older, most heavily decorated man said – presumably the leader. "Do you always travel with your women?"

After the trouble they'd gotten into with Turghan, that should have been their cue to turn back around and come back with an all-male team, to hell with feminism – feminism hadn't made any headway on some planets. But Jack was itching to get hold of some Naquada, which initial reports said the planet was reeking with. It seemed the best thing to do was keep an eye on things and hope Samantha didn't rile these men up too much.

"Major Carter is a valuable member of our team," Jack said in a neutral voice. That seemed to be the end of it, although the men of P4X-261 would have nothing to do with Samantha, beyond sending her outraged looks, like how dare a woman act like a man? Samantha ignored it and spent a lot of time with Daniel, who was much more sympathetic to her discomfort. Samantha didn't complain much about some of the blatantly sexist attitudes she'd come across in the universe – it was just part of the job, and the only real alternative was to not go offworld – and that, in Samantha's opinion, was no alternative at all.

Still, Jack could be a little more sympathetic – and a little more supportive, rather then looking like he was chewing at the bit to get hold of his damn Naquada. So, instead, Samantha chose to hang out with Daniel, who was a lot more sensitive to these things.

"You could start an intergalactic feminist movement," Daniel pointed out.

Samantha stuck her tongue out at him. It was childish, but they were way beyond formalities. "Don't tempt me," she said darkly. If only it wasn't for that stupid 'leave things as you found them' regulation, particularly regarding civilisations that had made it clear they didn't want to be changed. Well, sometimes people didn't know what was best for them.

Things were going well – as well as could be, given Samantha clearly wasn't welcome – until Samantha slipped and fell badly several feet down a hill she and Daniel had been navigating. She cried out as she landed. The rock scrapping sounds that went with it didn't sound good to Daniel. As quickly as he could, he rushed to Samantha's side and pulled her into a sitting position against him. "Are you OK?" he asked pointlessly. A fall like that had to have caused some pain. "C'mon, Sam," he added, "you don't have to pretend with me." He knew she did her best to appear stoic in the face of pain in front of military types, but over the years he'd broken down some of her reserve so she could admit to pain – in front of him alone – sometimes.

She smiled weakly. She would never admit it, of course, but she liked that she could admit to Daniel when it hurt and he wouldn't think less of her. "Back hurts," she said. "I think I scraped it."

He helped her to a flat part of ground where he could look her over without the threat of sliding further down the hill. She leaned into him comfortably, glad to have his support, even if she wouldn't admit it.

She didn't object when he ran his hands over her ribs, checking for anything broken – but she tried to deny to herself the slightly giddy feeling that washed through her body when Daniel ran his hands on her. "Any sharp pain, like a broken rib?" he asked sympathetically.

She shook her head and was a little disappointed when Daniel removed his hands. It wasn't often that they were in such close proximity when it wasn't a life-or-death situation and it was a strange, pleasant sensation.

But of course it was terribly inappropriate.

"No," she said , " But I think I scraped my back pretty badly."

Dutifully, Daniel shifted around Samantha so he was facing her back and helped her out of her jacket, which was looking much worse for wear after its trip down a rocky hill. It would have been more convenient to have her take her shirt off, but Daniel didn't dare ask such a thing, especially not in this environment. Instead, he pulled her shirt up from the back to inspect the damage of her fall.

The small of her back was a nasty red colour, her skin badly abraded by the rough fall, and Daniel could see bits of rock imbedded in her skin. Even with his limited medical knowledge, he could see it looked worse then it was. "I can get them out," he said.

He spread out a blanket and got Samantha to lie on it, face-down. Using a pair of tweezers, he worked out the bits of rock stuck in her back until he was confident they were all out. "I think that'll be OK until we get back," Daniel said as he placed a square of gauze over her back and secured it with medical tape. Not bad for a guy with limited medical training, he thought. "In the meantime, though – " Daniel started, distracted by the sudden loud cry of indignation and horror that came from further up the hill.

Daniel and Samantha looked up to see a very outraged Macah a few meters above them, looking very indignant and very horrified. They'd offended local customs before, of course, but with this sort of reaction, particularly when there wasn't a sacred site anywhere they could have despoiled, it seemed a little over the top.

"You have acted wantonly," Macah said to Samantha, his eyes flashing dangerously. "The punishment for that is death." He directed his men to take hold of Samantha. They brushed past Daniel, who was momentarily gobsmacked by the sudden turn of events, and hoisted Samantha to her feet, a guard at either side, menacing looks on their faces.

"Wait!" Daniel called as they began to drag Samantha away. "What the hell did she do?"

"She behaved wantonly. She exposed herself to a man."

Daniel stared at Macah in disbelief. "You mean… when I was treating her wounds? She was injured, for Christ sakes, what was I supposed to do? Leave her in pain?" He noticed they didn't much care that he was at least equally 'to blame,' but then, that was how such societies worked. No wonder Samantha had wanted to skedaddle back to Earth.

"You should have taken her to a nurse," Macah said reproachfully, without feeling. He hadn't like Samantha from the moment he had laid eyes on her – a female warrior, really! – and had been looking for a breach in her behaviour, according to their standards at least. "In our society, women are not to be touched by any man except their husbands."

Daniel thought quickly. He could tell it would do him no good to tell Macah that their culture was different and if he wanted, they would go back straight away. Even if he could get to Jack and Teal'c before Macah saw fit to have her executed, he doubted the two of them would be able to get the better of an entire tribe of outraged men. "What if I married her?" he blurted out before he'd really thought about it. With any luck, the proposition itself would be enough and of course, once they got back to Earth they could forget about the whole incident. And never come back here.

Macah looked thoughtful. "That would be acceptable," he said after a pause, the tone in his voice making it clear that he regretted Daniel had found a way around Samantha's impending execution. He directed to his extra guards, "Bring him too."

He looked at Macah in surprise. "You mean now?" he asked.. This he had not counted on.

"Yes, now," Macah said firmly. "Did you think I would give you the opportunity to go back on your word once you once you went back through the ring you come from? Of course," he added haughtily, "I expect you and your group to leave tomorrow."

Couldn't come soon enough as far as Daniel was concerned. "You can't just trust us that we'll get married back home? We have different traditions concerning courtship," he half lied.

Macah looked at him witheringly. "So you can go back on your word and let a whore go unpunished?" he asked. Daniel failed to see why it was so important to him, after all, they would be gone and what Samantha did beyond that should be none of their concern. Maybe Macah thought he would be sending them to face the judgement of whatever God they worshiped or some other such unenlightened way of thinking. At any rate, there was no getting out of this marriage. And, Daniel recalled with a sinking feeling, there had been a law created – specifically to validate his marriage to Sha're, as a matter of fact – that validated any marriage offworld in according to whatever local customs. So this was not going to be something that was automatically voided by the particular customs not applying to earth.

He was just about to marry Samantha Carter. For a damn good reason, of course, but annulments were a nightmare. He made a mental note to have a word with Jack about not being so eager to get hold of Naquada when it concerned a patriarchal society. He was sure, given the consequences, Jack would agree.

It took all his diplomatic skills to be allowed to speak with Samantha without guards flanking them. "I'm sorry," he said sheepishly as they were being walked towards the main town for what Daniel assumed would be the ceremony. "I didn't know what else to say."

"It's OK," Samantha said. She was grateful for Daniel's quick-thinking. Macah had looked furious when he'd found her and Daniel 'together' – like he'd finally found a way to get rid of the woman warrior who was an affront to his culture. "You saved my life." Not for the first time it occurred to her that Daniel's way of getting out of a problem was talking, where Jack would no doubt have pulled out his gun – and have been heavily outnumbered.

"You realise this will count on earth," Daniel pointed out.

She winced. She hadn't thought of that. And of course, there would be a fair amount of people who wouldn't believe the circumstances. But it was better then being dead. The glint in Macah's eyes had scared her. Trapping her had been a real triumph for him. She was sure the method of execution for wanton whores was long and painful and probably involved something 'appropriate' to wanton whores, like a gang rape. She decided to keep that particular thought to herself. Daniel tended to use his diplomatic skills to get himself – and his friends – out of sticky situations, but she didn't know how he'd feel to think that Samantha's demise might include something so degrading.

"We'll have to get an annulment when we get back to earth," she stated the obvious. Pity Daniel wasn't still married. (What was she saying? It was his marriage to Sha're that had put that stupid law in place.) Right now bigamy was looking better then a legal marriage between her and Daniel. Not that she minded being married to him in name only for the sake of saving her life, but still… it was strange.

Why, she couldn't say exactly. Maybe because the feel of his fingers on her back, gently working out the rocks and dressing her wounds, had felt far more comfortable then they should have. Maybe because the way he smiled at her sometimes unsettled her more then it should have – and made her happier then it should have. Maybe because – she forced such thoughts out of her head. Daniel was her friend and co-worker. End of story. Daniel was as out-of-bounds at Jack was – and she and Jack had come to a silent understanding about that years ago.

They got to the main village, and Jack and Teal'c were alerted to what had happened. As predicted, Jack's first instinct was to draw his gun, but Daniel talked him out of it. Getting into a firefight when they were this outnumbered was suicidal. After all, the alternative was a token ceremony followed by a month of paperwork and a little ribbing that Daniel and Samantha were would be happy to endure to get out of here unscathed.

At least, they had thought it would be a token ceremony, but apparently P4X-261 a marriage ceremony was anything but token. Despite the fact that this was the equivalent of a shotgun wedding, the whole village turned out. Samantha was whisked away to be prepared for the ceremony. Apparently the one tradition that P4X-261 shared with earth was that the groom was more or less left to his own devices. He killed a few hours with Jack and Teal'c while there was a great hustle of wedding preparations around them.

"Why is it," Jack asked, just a little peeved that Daniel had somehow managed to contrive to marry Samantha, "that wherever we go, you manage to offend cultural sensibilities?"

"I wasn't the one who got drugged with an aging nanite," Daniel pointed out. Jack could hardly talk about who had done what and where.

"No, you just slept with the Destroyer of Worlds," Jack pointed out with a smug smile. He would never let Daniel forget that once, not as long as he lived – and beyond that, really, seeing's he had actually died already.

That was the end of the conversation for a while. Then Jack offered, "You know, we could try shooting our way out of here."

Daniel glared at him pointedly. "And get ourself killed in the process? I think that's what Macah wants. No, just humour them and when Sam and I get back to earth, we'll start the process for annulment." And maybe do something about that stupid law. There had to be exceptions for cases like this – once again, Daniel would be setting a precedent.

"You sure that's your only reason for going through with this?" Jack asked, a touch of maliciousness creeping into his voice.

"What other reason would there be?" Daniel asked.

"Oh, I don't know… you wouldn't be getting cosy with Carter," Jack practically accused him.

There was something in Jack's voice that was almost jealous, which surprised Daniel. Had there been something between him and Samantha at some point? Was there something? No, she would have told him – they were best friends, even more so then either of them with Jack. No, Jack was just thinking like a horny bastard which was what Daniel would have expected of pretty much any male in the Stargate Command. After all, who wouldn't want the opportunity to cosy up with Samantha Carter, even if only in name only? Daniel put Jack's feelings down to concern for the team. Any hint of an inappropriate relationship between team members and they would have to be split up. "I assure you, my intentions are honourable," Daniel said dryly. "The team won't be broken up."

Jack didn't seem entirely convinced but he didn't have any further opportunity to continue the conversation as Macah, followed by an older man dressed in clothes almost as regal as Macah's appeared. "We are ready for you," Macah said, a little maliciously. He had been looking forward to the punishment inflicted on wanton women before they were stoned to death, but those plans had been thwarted. Oh well, there would be others.

Daniel was led, a little roughly, into a large open room where it appeared the whole village had gathered. He was surprised at how happy they all seemed – apparently a marriage was a marriage and something to be celebrated, regardless of the circumstances. He inhaled deeply, surprised at how nervous he was. It wasn't like this was the real thing. For some reason, he found himself thinking of his late wife.

Sha're… it was the first time he'd thought of her in a while, certainly since he'd been forced into this marriage. Funny, because now that he'd thought about it, he realised it should have occurred to him before. Oh, for sure, this wasn't a 'real' marriage, but still, he should have felt guilty for betraying Sha're's memory like that. He didn't love Samantha the way he had loved Sha're and as such, shouldn't be marrying her, shouldn't be reducing the sanctity of marriage to a convenience, even if it was with the best intentions.

But that hadn't occurred to him at all. And the sentiment didn't ring true even when it did occur to him. He didn't love Samantha the same way he had loved Sha're… right?

He realised his thoughts had distracted him from the ceremony, until the elder man – who Daniel deducted to be some kind of priest, or at least what passed for a celebrant in these parts of the universe – began glaring at him none-too-subtly. Daniel straightened up and paid attention, and realised the reason everyone had gone suddenly quite was because the bride had made her entrance.

It took all his powers of physical restraint (for the first time, he was grateful that years of being tortured by Apophis and other Goa'ulds had trained him to keep a blank expression no matter what he was feeling internally) not to gasp and then laugh, when he saw what Samantha was wearing. He'd occasionally commented that he'd like to see her in a dress once in a while, but this was – ridiculous. It wasn't so much that she was wearing a dress, but that she was wearing half a dozen, all designed to take away from her feminine figure. Daniel supposed that made sense – he recalled that in Victorian society, people were so prudish about sex that they put 'skirts' on the 'naked legs' of tables, and women were covered from head to toe, all the time. But this was ridiculous – Samantha looked like she weighed twenty kilograms more then she actually did, with layer upon layer of black clothing. Clearly, these people didn't regard black as the colour of mourning, either. Her arms and neck were completely covered by the layers of black material, and her breasts and hips were completely undistinguishable.

Looking around discreetly, Daniel realised that most of the women were dressed in similar fashion, with the younger girls and much older women in slightly more practical clothing – but only slightly. Daniel took this to mean that until they were married at least and even in public, a woman was to bare the minimal amount of flesh – he was surprised their faces remained fairly visible and that they hadn't adapted something similar to the hijab that Muslim women wore. The young girls and older women would be exempt because they weren't considered sexual beings, but all other females were and so had to cover themselves up because to reveal herself sexually to a man who was not her husband was a mortal sin, or so Daniel gathered. The more he thought about it, the more he realised how close Samantha had come to death. It sickened him that he had almost lost her, and for such a trivial, hypocritical reason, but there wasn't much he could do about it now except smile and go through with this damn ceremony.

The ceremony itself was quite short, lasting about ten minutes. The real reason the whole village had gathered was for the huge celebration that followed the ceremony. There was lots of food eaten, lots of liquids consumed – most of it alcoholic. It was the rowdiest, most alcohol-fuelled reception Daniel had ever been to, a far cry from his marriage to Sha're.

He and Samantha were seated at a table and continually brought food and drinks, encouraged to drink a particular concoction which was quite pleasant tasting – very morish. Daniel considered asking for the recipe. It was clear all that was expected of Samantha was to smile and ask her new husband for anything that she wanted.

Samantha had started off the night infuriated – at Macah, at the stuffy outfit she had to wear (hell, even Apophis had seen fit to dress his new bride in style), at the general unfairness of the situation. Even more infuriating was the fact that Ashaire, her handmaid for the night and the woman who had helped her into the seven layers of clothing she was wearing, had informed her that the only person she was allowed to speak to all night was Daniel. She vowed she would kill Jack when this was over for not being able to see what a messy situation they were walking into. He was their leader, that was supposed to be his goddamn job. He could slave away at a month of paper work for the bloody annulment that would follow this mess.

But the longer the night wore on and the more of the pleasant-tasting drink Ashaire kept insisting she drink – something about not offending local customs, and Samantha didn't want to push her luck twice in one day – the more aware she became of the handsome, virile man sitting beside her. She had never really taken a good look at Daniel before, mostly because first he was married to Sha're, and then came her is-it-or-isn't-it involvement with Jack that Daniel had always been just a friend. It would be inappropriate to think otherwise. But for some reason, very inappropriate thoughts were creeping into her head right now. Thoughts of her and Daniel in bed. God, she was starting to get very horny and she had no idea where it had come from.

Over the course of the night, Daniel was becoming more and more aware of the beautiful woman sitting next to him. He had known her for too oolong – occasionally caught glimpses of her naked – to not remember what she looked like under those layers of clothing. He was coming up with very inappropriate thoughts about her, about what it would be like to be in bed with her. God, he was starting to get horny and he struggled to recall what exactly he had consumed in the last few hours.

Another hour and Ashaire and two other maids ushered them into what would be their room for the night. By this point Samantha had pressed herself against Daniel's side, her head resting on his shoulder ; he told himself she was tired and he was wrapping an arm around her waist to secure her. He was distracted by the feel of her against him ; they might be separated by layers and layers of clothing but he could feel her like her flesh was against his.

The room was utilitarian, with a walled-off section being the bathroom – or whatever passed for a bathroom here – and the only other thing of note in the room was the huge bed, at least one-and-a-half times the size of a King. It didn't take a genius to work out there was only one purpose for such a room.

The three women made Daniel stay outside for fifteen minutes while they helped Samantha out of all but the bottom, and most easily removed layer of clothing. They left Daniel and Samantha with a few knowing laughs and looks. They were all matrons. They were all familiar with how eager a man was to have his bride for the first time. All they had known was a society where sex was permissible only within marriage – even the most 'wanton' of women adhered to that rule – and therefor conjugal rights were a man's first priority. In their culture, it was that worst, most shameful thing that could happen to a woman that her husband did not find her desirable enough to exercise his rights as a husband on their first night of marriage. An unwanted wife was considered almost as bad as a wanton woman – the almost made her means of execution somewhat more pleasant. As an insurance policy, the matrons of the planet had become adept as working out which herbs and combinations of herbs with other food and drinks – particularly alcohol – worked as aphrodisiacs.

Samantha surprised Daniel by kissing him as soon as they were alone. He was a little taken aback at first, but after not too long he started kissing her back. He realised just how much he had thought about kissing Samantha, and his fantasies weren't disappointed. He opened his mouth so he could meet her tongue with his and he savoured every feel, every taste of her. Giddiness rushed through his body and he backed up against the wall to keep his knees from buckling.

Their kisses became heated quickly and he slid his glasses to the top of his head when they became fogged up. It wasn't like he needed them anyway, the only thing he needed to see was her. God, she was so beautiful. He hadn't realised how beautiful she was before. Vaguely, he realised that there had been something in the drink they'd been given, some kind of hormone stimulator.

Smiling flirtatiously at Daniel, Samantha kissed him again and her hands were running over his body, up his arms, down his chest, pulling his shirt out of his pants to run her fingers over the bare skin of his chest and torso. He groaned in pleasure at the feel of her fingertips on his flesh, trying to ignore the warning bells that were going off distantly in his head. He grabbed her by the shoulders in a feeble attempt to stop her and, instead, ended up running his hands down her arms – even though they were covered by some thick, black material.

She had seen him in various states of undress enough times to know he was exceptionally well-built, the result of years of trying to keep up with Jack and Teal'c – or at least of not wanting to be beaten too badly by them. But she had never been turned on by a glimpse of his bare chest the way she was being turned on by the feel over it. Through the thick sleeves of her 'wedding dress,' she could feel his hands running over her arms and she liked it.

She began unbuttoning his shirt with one hand, her free hand moving southward to his crotch. She began rubbing him until she got the reaction she wanted. "Sam," Daniel groaned, automatically pressing himself into her hand like he would on any other occasion that he happened to be alone with an attractive, willing woman who was rubbing his crotch. "Oh, God, Sam… we shouldn't be doing this," he blurted out in a way that sounded more like we should. "I think there was something in that stuff they kept giving us."

She looked up at him, smiling seductively. Some dim part of her knew Daniel was right, but that part was being overruled by her current very powerful desire to consummate her marriage. She had never felt so horny in her life. "It can be our little secret," she suggested impishly.

That did it for the last of Daniel's restraint. His mouth came crushing down on hers in a hungry kiss. Her own restraint abandoned, she began rubbing him more vigorously until it was a matter of his wellbeing and comfort that she help him out of his pants. She wasn't disappointed with the results. Sha're had been a very lucky woman. Samantha felt a twinge of jealousy.

Daniel roamed her body freely with his hands with a boldness that would have gotten his ass well and truly kicked on any other occasion. But on this particular occasion, she responded well to his caresses, like a lover. His hands roamed under the thin shirt she was wearing to fondle her breasts. When she responded with a purr of delight – he would never have taken Samantha as a purrer – he grew more bold in his advances and snaked his free hand down underneath the thin pants she was wearing to investigate her own state of desire.

He wasn't disappointed. She gasped with pleasure when he penetrated her with his fingers and he decided that it was a complete waste for him to be using his fingers on her. He scooped her into his arms – no matter what the circumstances, he was carrying his new wife to bed – and lowered her down onto the bed. He stretched out beside her and helped her out of the thin garments she was wearing as she helped him out of his shirt so they were both naked. It was on the tip of Daniel's tongue to ask one more time was she sure she wanted to do this but when his eyes roamed over her naked body, he knew there was no way he could stop himself even if she wanted him to. And if the look in her eyes was anything to go by by – a hunger that matched his own – she most definitely did not want him to stop.

Aware of her sore back, he flipped her on top of him. God, she was beautiful. He loved the way she was looking at him, with adoration and desire. If it was possible, it made him harder.

She straddled him and he groaned at the sensation. He couldn't remember the last time he'd gotten laid and whatever stuff they'd been given wasn't helping. The first time at least was going to be quick – and they both wanted it that way.

She began to ride him hard. Although he'd groaned at first, mostly he was quiet, whimpering and straining under her, the amount of noise he was making inversely proportional to the fire that was coursing through his body. He gripped her hips hard. "Sam," he whispered her name hoarsely over and over.

Samantha had never felt so amazing in her life. Although she had never admitted to herself thinking such a thing, something had always told her sex with Daniel would be spectacular. She was something of a screamer and as Daniel began stroking her in time to her own rhythm that she was riding him with. This…was…incredible. She felt a swift, violent orgasm start to build up inside her and looking down at Daniel, she knew instinctively he was experiencing the same thing.

She rode him harder until she thought she would explode. He dug his fingers deeper into her flesh and thrust hard to meet her one final time…

"JACK!" Samantha cried out in an inhuman voice as she and Daniel climaxed at the same time.