Title: Happenstance

Author: Jasmine Starlight

Word Count: 2,230

Universe: Bleach

Theme: pointless-peculiarity and maybe some smut, fluff

Disclaimer: I might be a little rusty. I would like to purchase your couch.

Warnings: het. Post Soul-Society arc. Crack fic.

Pairings: Unohana/Zaraki! Teehee.

Rating: TV-16 to be sure

Featuring: Nurse Unohana. Patient Zaraki!

Time Completed: 10:23 PM 9/14/05

A/N: Hmmm…crack. Where do you think Isane got her magic fingers from?

Dedication:…who wants it?

It had all started one day when Unohana Retsu hadn't been paying very much attention to where she was going and bumped into Zaraki Kenpachi, which would have been fine, only when she straightened her white captain's coat, she noticed that there was blood on it.

Blood that hadn't been there before, so by process of elimination Kenpachi had to be the source, but persuading him to come down to the 4th division headquarters to have it looked at turned out to be a chore, and Unohana made sure she took care of every patient, no matter how stubborn.

So she reached an agreement to treat him privately, with much gesturing and pleading eyes, and so when the time came Unohana waited and waited and waited…hoping she wouldn't have to hunt the other captain down.

Eventually he did show up, only twenty minutes late, Unohana dismissed her previous annoyance in lieu of preparing the bandages and salves that would be needed. Healing was something she did best, the knowledge that she had the power to save lives comforted her; it was one of the reasons why she did so well as the captain of the 4th squad.

"This is going to sting." She had warned him.

"Whatever, just get it over with." He scoffed.

Unohana tried valiantly to fight the smile that tugged at her lips when the brash let out an involuntary hiss of pain, "What the fuck's in that stuff?" he demanded crossly.

"Disinfectant." Unohana said plainly as she began wrapping gauze around his wound, "Stop that." He said trying to bat her hands away, but Unohana prevailed, finally tying the bandages off in a discreet bow.

"Done." She said quietly.

"Finally." Zaraki complained as he moved to get up, forgetting that Unohana was still leaning on him, years of being a shinigami reacted before he had time to think, his arm snapping out and pulling her back up.

Never mind that it was onto his lap. Unohana began studying her shoes, trying to focus on anything but the current situation she was in.

"You know, you have a very nice ass." Kenpachi said conversationally, as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

Unohana slapped him, although she didn't make a habit of hurting patients she had just finished treating, she could make an exception.

"Can you let go of me now?" Unohana asked pointedly.

Kenpachi seemed to actually be thinking about it, and it made Unohana incredibly mad, but then again, two can play at that game.

"Ne, taichou, your shoulders are so stiff, let me help you with that." Unohana said obligingly as she determinedly massaged Zaraki's shoulders.

"What're you doing—nnn…" Kenpachi said as Unohana eased the tension from his shoulder blades.

"You're so uptight."

"Neh—stop it!" Kenpachi barked snatching her hands in his.

It was at that very moment that Unohana realized how close she was to Zaraki's face, and that he really didn't have a ugly face; it was just pulled into that idiotic sneer of his all the time. His breath was coming out in puffs on her face, as if in a trance she leaned closer until she lightly pecked his lips.

Then she pulled back suddenly, but Kenpachi pulled her back in almost immediately, into a scorching kiss, that left her not only nibbling at his lip but wanting more.

Unohana leaned her forehead against his, "Cocktease." He said accusingly.

Unohana remained silent and laid her head on his broad shoulder while his fingers toyed with the short hair at the nape of her neck.

"I'm startin' to think I shoulda never canceled all those physicals." Zaraki said gruffly.

Unohana sighed.


I really don't know what happened with this fic.

It just ran away.