Author's Note: Ah, another angst-filled tale. (This is getting to be a bad habit!) Be watching this one, as I have a feeling it's going to be a long one...and I have no idea where it's headed! I'm letting the Force guide me. : )


Chapter One

Obi-Wan blinked and winced slightly. The morning Coruscant sunlight was pouring into the windows and momentarily blinding him. He always hated mornings. As the sluggishness of sleep left him, he became aware that this morning was different. He wasn't in the Temple or in a cold tent on some obscure planet. He was in Senator Amidala's bedroom, in her bed. Her bare limbs were tangled around his own and her naked warmth was pressed firmly against his side. The shock of the discovery woke him entirely and he struggled to sit up without waking her.

What had happened? He couldn't remember. He had gone to a local club that was frequented by the Jedi and she had been there. They had shared a few laughs and a few too many drinks. Way too many, by the feel of the pounding in his head. He forced his eyes open once more and looked about the room, stunned to find it was in complete disarray. He gingerly eased himself up off her bed and strode around the room, careful not to step on the clutter lying on the floor. He bent down to pick up her evening gown. It was the lovely velvet one she had worn last evening. But as he noticed that it had been torn into shreds, the material slipped from his grasp and into a heap on the floor. He glanced down to follow the floating material and then noticed the red whelps on his chest, in a perfect pattern of fingernails -- Padme's fingernails.

Force! What had he done?

He quickly grabbed his Jedi attire and boots and left the bedroom. He found the living room to be much the same. Pillows were strewn about, items generally on tables were now on the floor. It looked like there had been a battle. Panic raced through his blood as he turned back to glance upon Padme's sleeping form. He had forced her. He had gotten drunk and had forced himself upon her. A wave of nausea swept over him. That had to be the answer.

He had always been attracted to her and wanted her, but she had never returned his feelings, so he had resolved to remain friends. Some friend he was. He had taken advantage of her and forced her. Even in his silent thoughts, he could hardly utter the words. But the evidence was there. The stale lingering alcohol on his breath, the shredded gown, the upheaval of her apartment, the marks of her self-defense on his chest.

He found himself racing from her apartment and into the turbolift. He had to get back to the Temple and meditate. And then he would have to appear before the Council and confess his crime.

Padme murmured sleepily, her brow furrowing at the realization of a horrific headache. She had drunk too much last night, but not enough where she couldn't remember what had happened. She had made love with Obi-Wan Kenobi. It had been a little wild, but wonderful. A large smile creased her drowsy face as she attempted to rise, immediately wincing at the soreness of her muscles. They had indeed gotten a work-out!

She gasped as she looked about her bedroom. Chairs were knocked over, her dressing table cleared of every bottle and momento, her clothes a torn heap upon the floor. Anyone else looking at the mess would assume her apartment had been robbed and ransacked, but a blush swept over her as she recalled what had actually happened.

She realized he had a little too much to drink, but when he started seducing her, she was too thrilled to stop him. In her amazement that he actually had the same feelings for her that she did for him, she quickly gave in and even antagonized him a bit. Upon returning to her apartment, their passion had escalated quickly and they ended up making love on just about every surface of the place, before finally making it to the bed.

As her eyes looked upon the heap of clothes once more, her head turned suddenly as the realization just hit her that he wasn't here. A nagging worry edged her mind. "Obi-Wan?" She called out softly, but there was no reply.

Getting up from the bed, she quickly grabbed a robe and went into the living room to find it much the same. Pillows were everywhere, the table turned over. Even the pictures on the wall were crooked.

"Obi-Wan?" Her confusion at his departure was unsettling. Surely, he wouldn't just leave without saying anything. Frustrated, she sat down on the velvet couch and waited. Maybe he just stepped out for a while. He'd be back.

Three hours later, the confusion and frustration had transformed into something much more volatile. How dare he use her like this! A one-night stand? Is that all this was to him? He hadn't even bothered to write a note, send a holo-message. Nothing! She suddenly felt used and sick to her stomach, her emotions raw and her mind reeling.

A sob swelled up inside her and she decided she must give him the benefit of a doubt. She would send a message to the Temple and check on him. Maybe something had happened. Maybe he had been called away and hadn't gotten a chance to contact her.

After talking with a Jedi at the Temple, her emotions took a u-turn, back to those of anger. He had been sent away on a misson this very morning and would not be returning to Coruscant for two weeks - without one word, a goodbye, or thank-you ma'am.

"Bastard." Padme flung a broken decorative bowl across the room and it shattered against the wall.

Master Yoda would not listen to Obi-Wan's heartfelt confession. The cryptic ancient Master kept muttering something about roots and trees and chances, and all Obi-Wan ended up was confused. Sometimes, he simply couldn't understand the old troll. But before he knew it, he and his apprentice were on board a shuttle and heading off on a mission to yet another remote planet. Good. This would give him the time he needed to meditate and purge his soul of the grievances against Padme. He just hoped that she would have time to do the same and that maybe some day she could forgive him for what he had done.