5 Minute Challenge from LE McMurray (What exactly did you do this time?)

Now What!

Author: nebbyJ (Jen) with some great ideas and additions by Emergencyfan (Just like Zelenka and McKay! Or is it McKay and Zelenka? Only we haven't blown up 5/6th of a solar system…yet!)

Rated: K+ (Maybe one bad word that Z cracks off towards the end. But he has good reason!)

Spoilers/Season: Yep, quite a few from several episodes, but nothing major. Season 2.

A/N: Not mine. Just having fun.


"What exactly did you do this time?" Radek mumbled under his breath as he hurried down the hallway towards McKay's lab, only to find that once he was inside, there was no sign of the missing scientist. Not to be discouraged, he drummed his fingers together before resignedly spinning back around and heading in the direction of the crew quarters. If the Canadian wasn't there, then the mess hall would be his next guess.

Not that the Czech really expected to find McKay sleeping; he still banged loud enough to wake the dead on Rodney's door. And when he didn't receive an answer, he cast a sly glance up and down the hallway to make sure the coast was clear before slipping off the outside room control panel and jury-rigging the door to open. He found the bed unmade, clothes strewn across a chair, a half eaten sandwich of unknown origin, but no body. Activating his comm unit, he added his voice to the jumble already cluttering the airwaves. "Colonel Sheppard, he is not in either place."

"Thanks Z, it was worth a shot," the officer replied. The search teams heard Sheppard pause a moment as he spoke with someone next to him before returning. "Okay, I'm outside the mess hall and he hasn't showed up here. I'm open to suggestions as to where to look next."

"Did you try the rec room?" Carson piped in over the system.

"I have searched there, Doctor. The room was empty," Teyla replied.

"Jumper Bay?" Sheppard tossed out to anyone.

"Empty," Ronon's deep voice replied.


"No, Colonel. I've been here since all of you arrived from off world," Weir responded, "and he hasn't been seen since your team left for the infirmary."

"Beckett, did he say anything to you after I left?" Sheppard questioned.

"Nay. He was sleeping off the wraith blast when I last checked on him. It's a bloody miracle he's up because he should be out for at least another hour."

Radek remained standing quietly in the deserted hallway, half-listening to the conversation. It was going on an hour since anyone had seen Rodney and most of the personnel that could join the search, had, and all were coming up empty. It was like he had disappeared off the face of Atlantis. Chewing on a hangnail, the Czech started walking again, letting his feet carry him towards someplace else they hadn't looked. Someplace he knew McKay would never go unless he wasn't in his right mind.

"Then what's he doing up and walking around?" he heard Sheppard snap with worry.

The grapevine on Atlantis had already buzzed about his team's latest confrontation with a wraith raiding team. And although none of the wretched aliens survived to make it back to the hive ship, Rodney had once again found himself on the receiving end of a weapon's blast and ended being carried back through the gate slung over Ronon's shoulder.

Carson's sigh was unmistakable. "I gave him a new long release antihistamine to try before leaving. That is the only thing I can think of that could possibly be interfering with his thinking. Like I said, he should be sleeping."

That news didn't sit well with Sheppard and most people with earpieces had to remove them in fear of loosing their hearing, Radek included. "Are you telling me you sent him off world with untested new meds?" the colonel yelled.

"No. What I am saying is that instead of the usual type, he tried the gradual release dosage because he was concerned with amount of ground cover he saw on the MALP footage before leaving. The medication contains a mild stimulant and steroid. Combined with the stun effect, heaven only knows what signals are being released within his over-active noggin."

When the sound of repeated dull thumping emanated over the earpieces, Radek allowed himself a brief smile at the Scot's next words. "Colonel, I hope that was your hand and not your head, son, or you will be reporting to the infirmary for a skull x-ray."

The noise instantly stopped.

"Thank you," Carson replied dryly.

With silence now radiating over the comm system, Radek decided to offer up his theory of Rodney's whereabouts. "Did anyone check the other science labs?"

There was no reply until Sheppard piped in, "Why would he go there?"

Zelenka paused before answering, trying to find a plausible way of saying without pissing off the second team of scientists. "Colonel, Rodney is not thinking straight and the last thing he remembers is Wraith. Who most resembles long-haired wraith on Atlantis?"

"Ah, hell!" Sheppard yelled and another loud bang could be heard. From the sound of the impact, all hoped it was the military leader's booted foot doing the damage this time. "Who's closest to Kavanaugh's lab?" he snapped.

Radek stood outside the dreaded closed doors and swallowed uncomfortably as he studied the pattern imprinted on the panels. Taking off his glasses, he squinted at the ornate pattern etched in the glass, before slipping them back on. This was not his most favorite place to be, and only for Rodney's sake would he even think of entering. "I am there now, Colonel," he finally answered.

"Z, can you hear anything?" Sheppard called back.

He stepped closer to the door and leaned forward. Unfortunately, at that exact same moment, the panels whooshed open to reveal one very bright eyed and bouncing Canadian scientist. Before he had a chance to back away in surprise, Rodney reached out and grabbed Radek by the front of his shirt and tugged him into the room.

"I found one," the missing scientist happily exclaimed to the Czech while keeping his service weapon aimed at a completely petrified Kavanaugh.

Zelenka's eyes traveled sideways and he spotted the man standing in the corner of his lab, his expression one of sheer disbelief with a large side of panic. Radek had always thought the American scientist had a washed-out appearance, but now the man appeared absolutely pasty white with his long hair hanging loose around his shoulders.

Stifling a smile, Radek cleared his throat as he mentally reviewed what he'd witnessed of the wraith, and he couldn't really fault Rodney in his current state for coming to the conclusion that Kavanaugh was one of the ugly lifesucking bastards. But, he couldn't let his friend shoot him either, no matter how good of an idea it might be. And who would know the difference? With his comm unit still firmly tucked behind his ear, he started talking calmly so all who were listening would understand what was going on. "Rodney, give me the gun."

"Oh, hell," he heard Sheppard mumble softly before calling in teams to help diffuse the situation.

Rodney shifted warily on his feet, his gaze drifting from Kavanaugh to Zelenka and then back, the gun in his wavering grip. "We have to get help," he whispered out of the side of his mouth to his friend. "We can't let it loose on Atlantis. What if it attacks someone? We need to get it back to Beckett to study."

"Good idea. What do you say we let Colonel Sheppard take it into custody? He would want to keep it alive." Radek watched Kavanaugh lick his lips in fear and he tried to keep the smirk off his own face. If Rodney wasn't half drugged out of his mind at the moment, this would be so worthy of some major blackmail down the road.

"Sheppard's here?" McKay actually perked up more at the thought.

"Yes, he is getting team together now."

Kavanaugh slumped back against the wall in relief. "Oh, thank god."

Unfortunately his movement startled Rodney and the Canadian jerked the gun back up straighter to point at the American. His hand appeared to be shaking harder as his index finger tightened over the trigger.

"We're coming, Zelenka," Sheppard called out. "Just keep him talking a little longer."

Radek wasn't sure he could do that. When he saw Rodney take an unsteady step backwards and collide unexpectedly into a work station, the gun wobbling harder in his shaky hand, the Czech knew he had to act. Diving forward, he attempted to tackle Rodney and knock the gun from his hand. The first part of his plan went off without a hitch with Rodney tumbling to the floor. Unfortunately, the second part went off with a bang.

"Son of bitch!" Radek cried out, curling instantly into a ball, cradling his left arm tightly to his chest. Forgetting momentarily about Rodney and Kavanaugh, he gritted his teeth and slapped his hand over his bleeding bicep before looking over and seeing the Canadian's eyes shut. "Rodney?"

There was no reply.


The colonel's voice shouted in the earpiece and the Czech grimaced, he was getting really tired of listening to that man yell.

"What happened?"

"Rodney is on floor." Shifting to sit up with his arm in is lap; Radek reached over with his foot and shoved the gun under a table…just in case a certain scientist decided to wake up again before help arrived. "It is safe to come in."

Seconds later, the door slid open and Sheppard and several armed individuals rushed the room. "Everyone alright in here?" he asked and was met with two sets of glaring eyes. Zelenka's he understood, spying the man's bloody arm. "Beckett, we've got two down in here," he called through the open doorway and the Scot quickly entered.

It was Kavanaugh that had him clearing his throat and looking around the room to search for anything out of the ordinary other than the wet trail leading down the front of the scientist's dark grey slacks. When he caught Zelenka looking at him from behind the table and rolling his eyes towards the ceiling in disgust, Sheppard knew he wasn't the only one to notice. Before he lost total control, he stepped around and squatted beside Beckett. "How's Rodney?"

Carson wrapped his stethoscope around his neck and shook his head. "Would you believe he's sound asleep?"

"But he's not hurt?"

The Scot smiled and shrugged.

"Excuse me," Radek snarked. "I hate to break up pity party for favorite scientist, but I did get shot."

Sheppard peered at the exposed arm Carson was working on. "Don't worry doc, it's only a flesh wound."

"Flesh wound?" Zelenka parroted.

"I've had worse shaving."

Tight blue eyes stared holes into the colonel. "You shave your arms?" he said menacingly through a grimace as Carson tugged on the bandage he had applied to the wound.

Sheppard instantly realized his mistake. "No! Uh, no. Looks bad. Really nasty." Giving the physician a silent plea for help, he nudged the Scot. "Pretty bad, huh, doc?"

Carson thought about letting him sweat out whatever revenge he thought the Czech might dole out, but then decided to take pity before he found himself with another patient. "I've never had a gunshot wound, but I imagine that it must be quite painful. It appears to be a clean shot though, with no broken bone or main blood vessels hit. Still, I want to take you back to the infirmary to make certain."

Radek glared over Beckett's shoulder at Sheppard, enjoying the way the officer squirmed until a tap on the arm got his attention.

"Perhaps, lad, Colonel Sheppard will give you a hand back while I go with Rodney."

Neither man said a word as Sheppard helped Radek to his feet and they followed slowly behind the gurney.


One week later…

Radek watched intently from his seat as Rodney kneeled down in front of him and tugged on the Czech's loose shoe strings. "No, no, you're not doing it right," he deliberately corrected for the third time.

McKay's shoulders stiffened, but he kept his snide comments to himself, "I've been tying my own shoelaces since I was three-years-old, I think I know how."

"I like the double knots; it keeps them from coming undone."

The shoulders stiffened further, but still the Canadian didn't break. "FINE!"

Deciding to try a different tactic, Radek shrugged and winced, "Never mind, I will do it myself." With an exaggerated groan, he stretched his injured arm in an attempt to tie his shoes.

McKay sat back and watched a second before brushing Radek's fumbling hands away, "Okay, okay, I'll do it!" He huffed and tied the laces with double knots before standing up.

"Tuck in laces, please? You wouldn't want me to trip, would you? I might break other arm."

Rodney stared down at the Czech in silence, a thousand emotions flooding his face and none of them happy, "You didn't BREAK it."

Taking a deep breath, Radek sighed with a forlorn look on face. "You are right," he said quietly. "You shot me. How could I have forgotten?"

Sinking back down on one knee, McKay tucked the laces in, "Satisfied?"

A slow smile spread across Radek's face and his eyes twinkled deviously but his face blanked instantly the moment Rodney looked up at him, "Yes, very much. Thank you, Rodney. You are good friend. Lousy shot, but good friend."

Rodney allowed a hint of a smile to touch his face as he studied his friend. He knew Radek was playing him, but out of his own guilty conscience did he allow the Czech to take advantage of the situation. "Glad you're so understanding."


"Now what?"

"You have been shot, yes?"

Rodney shook his head 'no'. "I got stabbed by Koyla's goons, but no, I haven't been shot."

Radek flexed his healing arm and wiggled his fingers. "Was it 'flesh wound'?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Colonel Sheppard seems to think you only gave me flesh wound. That he has had worse when shaving."

Rubbing the scar on his forearm, Rodney scowled at the memory, only to look back up when Radek cleared his throat. "What?"

"I was thinking perhaps we should…"

"Should what?"

"Remind him what 'flesh wound' feels like?" Radek's good arm stretched out across the work table in Rodney's lab and he tapped his finger on a piece of Ancient technology that they had recently discovered. From their experiments, they'd discovered it to pack quite a small, but impressive jolt.

This time a full smile spread across both scientists' faces and the air filled with a devious laughter.

Walking over to his desk, Rodney tapped the comm panel, "Sheppard, this is McKay. I need to see you in my lab ASAP."

The End