Spacemonkey in the Middle

A Story By Pip and Mel

Summary: Our take on how Jack would react to Vala Malduran

Rating: PG

Season: 9, Episode Tag to Origin

Spoilers: Origin, Avalon p.1, Prometheus Unbound

A/N: Heres a little something Mel and I put together, and co-wrote, after coming up with the idea while watching SG-1 one night. This is actually the second, more cleaner, version. The original draft was completely written by myself, with the suggestions from Mel, and ofcourse, since i'm the defnitely sinner between us, the first draft is a little more naughty then this version. That why, I'm posting BOTH versions. The UNCUT story will be posted seperately from this one, to ensure that everyone understands that Mel did not entertain the idea of so much sexual innuendo. So, if your more the sinner, like me, i highly recommend Spacemonkey in the Middle(UNCUT)!


Daniel sat pecking away at his computer keyboard. He had been released after having a check-up with Dr. Lam about twenty minutes earlier. Though he was told to try and relax (i.e. take a break from work), he wouldn't let himself. The thoughts of what he and Vala had gone through would play in his mind over and over if he didn't keep it occupied. And frankly, he didn't want to think about it for a while. Both he and Vala had to stay on base overnight to make sure that they weren't going to suffer any lasting effects of the wristbands, so why not work? He was just happy to think that by this time tomorrow, Vala would be off of Earth and out of his hair.

As he was typing, he suddenly saw a figure out of the corner of his eye. He looked up and saw Jack standing there, adorned in the clothing he hated most. "Hey," he said as he had done so many times after Jack would enter his office. Then it hit him that this wasn't one of those normal, everyday times. Jack didn't work there anymore, after all."Wow, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you, too," Jack responded, sounding slightly hurt.

Daniel realized how his greeting sounded. He quickly got up from his desk and walked over to the General. "No, I'm sorry. I just wasn't expecting to see you."

"Ah well, I was in the neighborhood... and I've got a little surprise for Mitchell."

"Oh. Yeah, he loved the last one. The fact that you didn't tell him that we were all moving onto different positions."

"Yeah. Sorry you missed Daedalus."

'Yeah right,' Daniel thought. He knew Jack never wanted him to go to another galaxy. "No, you're not."

Jack didn't think Daniel would fall for that. "You're right. I'm not." He paused, looking at his friend that he had almost lost... AGAIN. One of these days he was going to have to count just how many times Daniel had died or nearly died. "Listen, I just had a briefing with Landry about... your... stuff."

"Yeah..." Daniel pushed away his memories as they came flooding back.

"Sounds like it could be a problem."

"Well, we've been up against some pretty bad guys before."

"Eh, not so pretty. Overdressed, yes."

"Through some tough situations."

"That we always won."

"Yeah, but didn't you feel that was because we had someone looking out for us? I don't think I would say this to anyone else, but for thefirst time, I'm scared."

Jack raised his eyebrows after hearing his friend reveal his honest feelings. "I'm hungry."

Realizing this was Jack-talk for "Do you wanna sit and talk about it?"Daniel answered, "Me too." While he didn't want to dwell on almost being burned alive, he did feel like he needed to get his fears off his chest. And who better to do this with than his best friend.

"Come on."


"Ya know," Daniel looked at his friend sitting across from him, "we could have gone anywhere for lunch. Why the commissary? I'm sure Dr. Lam would've let me leave the base for an hour."

Jack looked up from his 'gourmet' turkey sandwich, and grinned, as Daniel grudgingly picked at what was supposed to be macaroni and cheese with his fork. "What can I say I missed the food." he replied. Daniel just looked at him, smiling a bit. Jack shook his head slightly. Daniel had understood, just like he knew he would.

Jack really had missed being around base, being with his friends, especially Daniel. Years ago, if someone had told Jack that his best friend would be the man sitting across from him, he would have laughed in that person's face. Well, to be honest, maybe not the man sitting across from him, but the man that Daniel was at the start of this program. When Jack had first met good Doc. Jackson, the "kid" was full of brilliance, spirit, and excitement. He was also a geek to boot, as well as one royal pain in the butt.

The man Jack now saw was definitely Daniel, without a doubt. Same mannerisms, though less jittery and clumsy. The same face... kinda. Facial hair now covered the man's "babyface" as many of the women on base had called it. Also, of course, he had the same piercing blue eyes, shielded by those round-rimmed glasses. Although, Jack noted, those eyes shown to a soul, not of a youthful kid, but of a man who had seen much in the last few years. Daniel had spent too much time around the military type. He'd seen too many battles, too many deaths. Jack was saddened to see, over the years, that excitement, that spirit, had been too well tamed. Of course, they were still there, but they didn't seem to complete Daniel anymore, like it once had. In the spaces left behind by their absence, the skills of a soldier, a warrior, had been placed. This made Jack grin inwardly.

Though Daniel still played the role of the no-nothing scientist a lot of the time, Jack knew better. Daniel was probably the most mentally fit person on this base and he certainly rivaled physically. After nine years of going through the gate, Daniel was the most qualified personto be around in this base, seeing as both Jack and Teal'c were now gone. He knew how to handle a situation as a soldier, and yet could keep it within his civilian views. He shot better then most of the true soldiers on base, and Jack knew it. All around, Jack realized, Daniel had never lost what made him "Daniel," and, he'd still managed to adapt well.

Jack smiled, and chuckled at his thoughts - a chuckle that didn't go unnoticed. "What?" Daniel asked curiously.

Not wanting Daniel to know all that he was thinking, Jack glanced up quickly, and found his "out". "Oh, its just..." he sat back with a sigh, "I can't get over that beard."

Daniel knew that wasn't all Jack had been thinking, but, he wasn't gonna push the issue, at least not this time. "Oh." He rubbed at his face that was now covered with hair.

"Why?" Jack asked suddenly, surprising Daniel.

"Huh?" he replied, a bit confused.

"Why the beard?" Jack emphasized.

"I just..." Daniel seemed to think of a good reason. The truth was, he really didn't have one. "Felt like a change is all." 'Oh, very convincing' the archeologist thought.

"Laziness," was Jack's automatic reply, as he took another bite, never looking up from his plate.

"No, I'm not being -"

"Lazy?" Jack cut Daniel off. "Yes you are."

"Am not."




The two were so wrapped up in their usual banter that they failed to notice the woman standing at their table. "Well, I see I'm not the ONLY one he's immature with," the woman replied playfully.

Both men looked up in surprise. Jack looked at Daniel for some sort of clue as to who this was. He noticed Daniel's easygoing mood seemed to have faded, and FAST. His friend now seemed annoyed as he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. A small frown was now on his face and it was directed to the woman that had apparently joined them.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Daniel asked in a false, calm tone. Jack raised eyebrows and looked at Daniel in surprise. He was beginning to wonder if this had become his new greeting for everyone he saw.

"I was hungry." The woman slid into the chair next to Daniel. Reaching out, she grabbed the fork sticking out of his now cold macaroni and cheese, and helped herself to a mighty bite.

"You can have food brought to your quarters." Daniel leaned forward, his nose almost touching hers. "In fact," his tone was anything buthappy, "you're SUPPOSE to have food brought to your quarters."

She just shrugged innocently.

Daniel looked up suddenly at the guard who was suppose to be keeping her in said quarters. "Why did you bring her here?" he asked in a commanding tone that made Jack proud.

All three people looked over at the guard, who appeared to get nervous at Daniel's scrutiny, and started to stutter incoherently. Daniel shook his head, and let out a sigh. Holding up his hand to stop the guard, hemuttered loudly. "Never mind! I get it."

"Oh, Daniel." The woman continued to eat Daniel's lunch. "Relax. I was getting a check up done by your good Doctor. She insisted that I eat something. Said I looked famished!" she added dramatically.

"Oh, she did not!" Daniel sat back quickly, once again crossing his arms. To Jack, Daniel appeared to be enjoying this. It was kinda like the two of them enjoying one of their "discussions," when they didn't hit too close to home. "Plus, I highly doubt she meant for you to come here and eat." he smiled at her.

"Daniel! Come on. Don't you want to eat with me?" She batted her eyelashes at him, all the while, taking another bite.

"Would you stop that!" He pulled the fork out of her hand. "Leave my food ALONE." He pushed the tray away from her.

"You're not even eating it anyway." She tried to reach for the fork, but Daniel held it away from her.

Jack couldn't help the laugh that escaped from his mouth at the sight. Daniel was treating the woman like some teenage girl.

"OH!" The woman hadn't seemed to notice him since she sat down. The fork and food forgotten, she turned quickly to Jack. "And who might you be?" She asked curiously.

"Jack O'Niell. Major General Jack O'Neill." Jack extended his hand. "And you are...?"

The woman accepted his hand with a firm shake. "Vala. Vala Malduran. So you're this Jack Daniel's always carrying on about."

"Yes, I'm the one." Jack looked at Daniel, who had his head bowed in annoyance. He was guessing Daniel hadn't wanted them to meet. Jack could see why. No one, it seemed, knew how to push Daniel's buttons quite like he could, save for this Vala. He liked that â€" a LOT - and Daniel NOT liking it made it so much better.

"So, how did you meet good Daniel, here?" Jack asked innocently enough. But, still, Daniel's head shot up, and he glared at Jack. Of course, Jack knew who this woman was. Hell, Landry had just briefed him about the little 'adventure' the two had together.

"You don't know?" Vala asked surprised.

"No, I..."

"Yes, he DOES know." Daniel jumped in, as he got up from his seat, and started to gently pull Vala from hers. "He knows how you hijacked the ship, and kidnapped me, and all that great stuff. Now, Jack..." He turned to his friend. "I'm really glad I got to see you. I'll call you later, okay?" He turned back to Vala. "Come on." They started to make their way out of the commissary.

"Whoa, Danny!" Jack, to Daniel's dismay, followed. "I don't have to be anywhere just yet. I'd like to talk more with this Vala." He pushed his friend out from beside the woman. "Now, is it true that you beat the crap out of him?" Jack asked with alarge smile.

"Okay, now I'm truly surprised he told you about THAT." Vala said. "Imean, I did do some damage to his ego... as a man, that is." Daniel looked back from where he walking in front of them, sending her a glare before turning it on Jack.

"Actually, he didn't have to tell me, seeing that I have the authority to read any report in this base that I please," Jack said, ignoringDaniel's "death ray."

"Oh, really?" Vala asked with delight. She wrapped her arm around Jack's "And just how much detail did his report go into?" Daniel continued to walk, with his hands in his pockets now, trying to pay no attention to the conversation behind him.

"Plenty!" Jack smirked. "You see, we have to be as detailed as possible in our reports."

Daniel rolled his eyes.

"Ah, I see. So, the ENTIRE mission must be reported on then?"

"Oh, yes! It wouldn't be an official report otherwise! Everything from when he first saw you on the ship, to when he woke up tied to the chair, to when you kicked the zat away from him, to when you hit him with the fire extinguisher in his..."

"ALL RIGHT!" Daniel yelled.

The three reached the door to Vala's quarters, the not so useful guard of hers not far behind. Daniel swiped his card, and opened the door.

"But Daniel, I'm just telling this nice young lady about..."

"She was THERE, Jack!" he said as he walked to the middle of the room."She knows what happened!"

Vala let go of Jack's arm and jumped onto the bed, resting on her stomach, feet up in the air. Jack leaned on the wall by the door, hands in his pockets.

"Come on, Daniel," Vala inserted. "Jack's just telling me about how detailed your reports have to be."

Daniel dropped his head in defeat.

"So yeah, as I was saying, everything is in the report... INCLUDING the kiss."

Vala grinned wickedly.

"Oh, don't." Daniel pleaded as he looked up at the General.

"Oh, so that was in there too, huh?"

Daniel, head still down, closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose with his right hand. Taking advantage of the opportunity, Vala winked at Jack and he gave her a huge smile.

"Of course!" Jack paused for a moment. Daniel raised his head a bit, glancing at Jack, wondering if maybe the "torture" was over. "Oh, and another thing about the reports... we sometimes write down how we were feeling at the time things were happening."

Daniel frowned. If Jack was going with this where he thought he was going with it, he was a dead man.

"Oh?" Vala inquired.

"Yup. And I'll have you know that Daniel had some interesting FEELINGS about that kiss you two shared."

"Jack?" Daniel said in a surprisingly calm tone.



"Moi? I wouldn't do such a thing!"

"Now, Daniel," Vala said as she got up from the bed and walked over to the linguist. "If you had certain feelings during our little moment together, then why deny it?"

Daniel simply glared at Jack and decided he'd had enough of this. He began to walk toward the door.

"Danny, now, don't let me ruin you two love birds' romance." Jack looked at his friend who had halted in his tracks. He looked at his watch. "I should be going anyway. Gotta head off Mitchell for that surprise."

"Jack..." Daniel could already see the man's wheels were turning.

"No, no, Daniel. You were right." Jack patted his friend's back. He looked at Vala. "You two make a lovely couple. I see you make him VERY HAPPY, and I'm pleased. Call me and let me know when the wedding is."

"Oh, don't worry, I will." Vala winked at him.

"I'm sure." Daniel grumbled to himself.

"What was that?" his two tormentors said in unison.

"Nothing." He answered sweetly.

"Right, well, I'm off." Jack made for the door. He could see out of the corner of his eye, Vala walking up right next to Daniel and wrap her arm around his waste.

"It's been a pleasure, Jack." Vala answered.

"Jaaaaack..." Daniel had the warning to his tone, the one that meant Jack had hell to pay later on. He didn't care. He couldn't pass up this opportunity. Jack whispered something to the guard and then began to leave as Daniel pushed Vala away from him. "Get off me." He looked to her. She had a smug smile on her face and her gaze was aimed toward a particular part of Jack as he walked away.

"You weren't just checking out his...?" he began to ask.

Vala looked up surprised. "Wha-? Who? Me? NO!" Daniel gave her a scrutinizing look. "Well, it IS NICE!"

Daniel rolled his eyes. "Okay. I'm outta here!" He got to the door, but the useless guard was blocking his exit. "Let me pass, please." he said in an exhausted tone. The two had worn him out, mentally.

"Sorry, Sir, but, General O'Neill ordered me to have you stay."

"Of course he did!" he said with annoyance on his face. "NOW the idiot follows orders," Daniel mumbled. Turning, he saw Vala smiling sweetly at him. Down the corridor, Jack O'Neill turned back toward Daniel. "Oh! Danny-boy! One other thing..." he yelled. Both Jack and Vala smiled broadly at the doctor. "GOTCHA!"

As he heard the angered "JAAAACK!" coming his way and he began to run down the hall and away from his best friend, Jack couldn't help but think, 'Ah, I'm really going to miss this place!'


A/N: Well, what di you think! We like our reviews...they make our day. PLEASE REVIEW! Thanx!