A Bohemian Night's Dream

a/n: I don't own Rent, or A Midsummer Night's Dream. So. On with the show!

"I seriously cannot believe how you talked me into this," Mark said, shaking his head.

"It wasn't hard, because you love me. Isn't that right?" No reply. "Isn't that right?" Maureen's face took on a menacing look.

"Yes, that's right," he answered grudgingly.

"Okay. So where we left off." He sighed.

" ' Do-I-entice-you-do-I-speak-you-fair-or—' "he began in a bored voice.

"Marky! Come on!" she whined.

"Okay! 'Do I entice you? Do I speak you fair? Or, rather, do I not in plainest truth tell you I do not, nor I cannot love you?' " Roger laughed.

"You sound so queer!"

"You shut up! Its not my fault Maureen wanted to do Shakespeare!"

"Do you even know what half these words mean, Maureen?"

"Of course I do! Listen here. 'And even for that do I do love you more. I am your spaniel; and the more you beat me, I will fawn on you.' " She got a mischievous look in her eye, and continued in a seductive tone. " 'Use me but as your spaniel, spurn me, strike me!' Use me, Marky, use me!"

"Oh, my God, Maureen! This is Shakespeare!" Mark cried, appalled.

"I never knew how hot his work was," Maureen replied in the same sexy voice, before planting a hot, passionate kiss on Mark.

"He was a fag, did you know that?" asked April. Mark surfaced.

"How do you know?" he said, before being sucked back in by Maureen.

"I read."

"You guys know I'm here, listening to you right?"

"Sorry, Collins."

"You know, I don't think that the people in charge of the casting for Rocky Horror want A Midsummer Night's Dream," said Roger smirking.

"They want to see that I have versatility. Whatever that means," Maureen answered, getting off Mark and picking up the fallen script. "Okay, from the top."

"Do we have to?" asked a dazed Mark.

"Once more, and then..." she said with a sly look.

"I'd better not hear any passionate screams of 'I am your spaniel! Strike me Mark!' at 2 in the morning tonight," said Benny.

"Oh, I think we both know that Mark's the noisy one," she said.

"Maureen! That's nothing you need to be telling them!"

"She didn't need to tell us, we can hear," April tactlessly said, bringing a wave of laughter from everyone but Mark. Roger fell off his chair laughing. Mark scowled.

"I'm not doing this anymore! Why don't you get Benny to do it?" Maureen shrieked with laughter.

"Are you kidding? He's too stupid! I— ow! That pen stabbed me!"

"That's what you get!"

"Don't be like that. Come on, Marky, from the beginning."