The other night dear
As I lay sleeping
Hatori lay on his bed, it was late and he couldn't sleep. Not anymore. Insomnia was the medical term but knowing that didn't help. He tried to sleep, every night he'd lay there, staring at the ceiling. Well, staring as best he could, it was so hard to focus on anything since the accident. So he'd lay there and think. But he had to sleep, he had work to do in the morning, he had Akito to take care of. That was all he had now, that was his entire life. So he took a pill and sleep slowly took over.
I dreamed I held
you in my arms
Yes! He could see her, his beloved Kana. He lay there, holding her as tightly as he could. He told her he loved her, he told her he would never let go and she did the same. He could feel everything leaving him, his pain, anger, sadness, because he was with her again! Nothing could upset him. He didn't have to cry any more. He would never leave this place. This wonderful, WONDERUL place. All he wanted was to see her smile like that at him. All he wanted was to see her smile forever and ever. And to hold her just like this.
But when I awoke, dear,
I was mistaken
And then he opened his eyes, he'd woken up. The sun was shining through the window and the birds were singing. Hatori smiled, widely, spring was here again. It was so warm. Everything was perfect. And then he made the mistake of looking down and seeing…nothing…there was nothing there but the chill of emptiness where there was once the warmth of another. He had imagined the birds singing, he had dreamed that warmth, the sun was merely an illusion. Hatori was alone and the pain was back. Everything was back to the way it was always going to be. He couldn't help it….
So I hung my head
He let his head drop and he cried…he cried and he cried. His chest heaved as he wept into nothing…to nothing and no one. He cried until his whole body hurt. He didn't even try to stop himself, he couldn't possibly do it. He just kept going until his eyes stung, his nose dripped and his throat was hoarse. Then his buzzer went off. He had appointments to keep, patients to see, Akito to care for. He sniffed and he wiped his face. Then he got up, showered, dressed and he went about his day. But for eternity there would be a tear he kept just for her…his sunshine.