Miroku has roaming hands.

He knows no one believes him, but it's not his fault. It's Naraku's.

It isn't that he is a masochist. Really he isn't. He just can't help himself. His hands attract things to them. Once he throws the beads on, the process reverses itself. Honestly, he hadn't even been conscious when he groped Kagome. If that wasn't a clear indication of his innocence, he doesn't know what is.

But of course, no one believes him.

You're such a pervert, Kagome told him, stranded in Tokajin's cliff-side home, when he had simply made a comment about not being able to eat anything.

Ah, Kagome-sama, I can see why you're upset. Of course, I have not forgotten about you, he said, and figured it would be safe to grope her without Inuyasha present.

Kagome delivered a crippling blow to his knee.

I don't have time for this! Don't you have any restraint!

Well, no, not really.

But he had been proud he had managed to hold off on Sango until her injuries had healed. He doubted he made the best first impression, but then, her first impression had involved stabbing Inuyasha in the arm, and he felt an innocent little squeeze of her knees had to be easier to forgive.

Apparently not.

And then there was the time they left Satsuki's, when they'd fallen behind the girls and he'd commented, That was uncharacteristically generous of you, Inuyasha.It's not like I care about getting credit for killing a pathetic – WHAT THE HELL!

Inuyasha avoided him like the plague for days afterward and wouldn't tell Kagome what was bothering him.

And then there was Kagura, who just looked a little bemused and amused, and Sesshoumaru, who didn't seem to find it worthy of response, and Rin, and Sesshoumaru did think that was worth a response, and Jaken, who had sputtered something about not betraying Sesshoumaru-sama. That was all during the rather disastrous time he groped Mouryoumaru. He didn't think he would ever entirely recover.

Miroku always welcomes the visits to Kaede's village. He can avoid everyone else if he just stays near the village woman. They, at least, don't seem to mind his wandering hands. He feels for them; all of the young men in the village have gone off the war. And sometimes he can even sneak away and get some quality time to himself.

He is startled out of his thoughts by Kaede, woven basket in hand. She looks a little surprised to see him.

avoiding the worst of it? she asks, meaning Inuyasha and Kagome's latest blow-out.

he says, meaning people. She nods and bends down to pick herbs.

Miroku bites his lip and squirms, looking at her backside. He tries sitting on his hand, butYoung man!I'm sorry! he cries, backing off. I'll just be going.

He hesitates.

Kaede smirks. Where do you think you're going?

It was all Naraku's fault.

Incidentally, it's true what they say about older women.