Disclaimer: Uh... this thing you see... I don't own it...
The light grew nearer as he reached towards my destination the light at the endless abyss.
His eyes snapped open instantly as he saw himself quickly accelerating towards a large mass of women. Their eyes full of lust and hunger for meat, specifically the flesh of a young 15 year old boy with golden blonde hair and sky blue eyes. Which just so happened to be him. Instantly he put his hands into the familiar seal he used since my academy days. "Forbidden Technique: Art of the One-Thousand Doppelgangers!" He roared as he neared the wave.
Instantly a huge smoke screen filled up the air and exactly a thousand Naruto's rained from the sky much to the delight of the girls. Multiple Narutos. Oh how much 'more' fun could they think up. They just stood there for a second drooling at their own perverted thoughts at the many ways to take advantage of poor Naruto-Kun.
Which was all he needed to escape, half of his clones threw up the other half and those disappeared. Then half the ones in the air propelled the other half higher. Repeating itself until there were only 2 left already incredibly high up in the sky. After they used up their momentum they instantly dissipated into a cloud of ninja smoke.
In the air he twisted the angle of his body and headed straight across the sky in a flying line moving so fast he was nearly a blur to the naked eye. Crashing into the earth and tumbling he made a complete stop after rolling and gathering more friction with the Earth. Getting up he dusted himself off, there was only one person that could help him now.
Trekking the road back into the village he made his way towards the only one that could solve his problem.
Pulling out my orange book I made a quick glance around and saw that no girls, ladies, women, or personals of the female kind were around. Just my luck would have it, there were none! Nadda, zip, none whatsoever as far as my eye could see. I was in pure ecstasy as I was able to read in total and complete freedom without someone looking at me in total disgust or distaste.
I continued to walk down the stalls and read my fantastic 4th installment of Icha Icha Paradise. 'Kagome is perverted when Kiyomaru is around. What a very naughty nurse.' I giggled aloud at the scene that was beginning to get very sweaty and naked. "Kakashi-sensei, I need your help. Quick." I heard a very familiar voice ring aloud.
'Sigh, right when they were going to use the hospital food in very imaginative ways.' On that note, my eyes grew into a happy curve. "Stop being such a pervert Kakashi-sensei." Naruto deadpanned, though Kakashi didn't look very apologetic. "So what exactly need me to help you with?" Kakashi questioned, though he didn't particularly care it did intrigue him somewhat.
"Um... Girl Troubles." Was his somewhat vague reply, but Kakashi got the idea. "Well you see Naruto, when a girl likes you but you don't like her back. The best thing you should do is to get them to like someone else, so that you don't have to let them down." Naruto's usually dense features instantly brightened up. "Thanks Kakashi-sensei!"
Leaping on top of the building he cupped his hands and yelled out as loud as possible. "I'M HERE LADIES!" Totally confusing Kakashi he started to realize that the Earth beneath him was vibrating violently. Naruto leaping down behind Kakashi explained his predicament in a nutshell. "You left that very important detail out of our conversation a few minutes ago."
Naruto rubbed the back of his head in a sheepish manner. "Sorry Kakashi-sensei, well good luck with stopping the girls." "But I never-" Then he realized he was talking to thin air because Naruto had taken off already. Turning around he braced himself with his prized Orange Book. Tearing his eyes away from the page he looked up to see this huge wave of bodies heading straight towards him.
Thinking that he had to do a special technique he readied himself to do his Art of the Doppelganger but they all stopped in front of him. "Hmm?" The glint in their eyes were eerily familiar with the ones he had received before. He traced their eyes towards their destination, which landed upon his hand. More specifically his limited edition book.
"Oh... Noooo." This was the first time in a long time he was wrecked with fear, if they ripped up this book he'd never got another edition like it in his entire life time. They took a step forward, he took a step back. Another forward, another back. Turning around he made a mad break for it to get somewhere safer as the girls followed him attempting to maul him for having such a distasteful book.
"GET BACK HERE YOU PERVERT!"
"Whew, I hope sensei is alright." He thought about it for a second, and then thought against it. He was probably dead in some alley. "Ah well, he shouldn't have been reading that perverted book like Ero-Sennin." He quickly scanned the immediate area to check if anything was wrong. Then relaxed when I found that the girls were too busy being preoccupied. "Psst, over here you stupid brat."
Turning his head he found Jiraiya hiding in the bushes. "Boy, listen to me. That aphrodisiac will last another 3 weeks and it's still day one. I suggest you just let yourself get ravaged for the 3 weeks and then get on with your life. Ok?" Naruto looked at Jiraiya. Jiraiya looked back. They looked at each other. "No."
"Why not!?" "Because I have decency." "Besides the obvious." Naruto sighed heavily. "Ok, besides being in pure bliss for 3 weeks, do you have any alternatives that will get rid of my problems and still retain my dignity?!" "Nope." "You suck." "You betcha."
Turning his back on his sensei he was about to go but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. "Wait... I really hoped that during this whole crisis, or lack of if you just followed me instructions, that you would finally become just like me. But since you are so set on doing it the hard way... fine."
"Think about this logically, the aphrodisiac is causing the girls to go wild. Therefore you either neutralize the aphrodisiac or mask it. Masking it is out of the question because it's nearly impossible because it's potent enough to reach out to girls 500 feet away. So we need to find out how to neutralize the aphrodisiac."
"We can wash it off!" "No, we can't. Because it literally seeps into your skin and bones, so you can't get rid of it with normal means. You need a chemical that causes you to become distasteful." Sitting there they both tried to brainstorm of something. Though, Jiraiya was doing more of the thinking then Naruto. "I've got it! You need a anaphrodisiac. It's basically a libido stopper. So if we use it on you, it should negate the aphrodisiac enough to stop the girls from raping you. Though, I still think that's the way to go."
"That's a great idea! I mean the anaprodisiac not the girls." Jiraiya grimaced, "Naruto... you aren't. You know..." "I'm not what?" "You know... gay?" An awkward silence was passed between the two until a very girly scream rang out about 20 blocks from where Naruto left Kakashi. "No, I'm not. I'm just not perverted, now tell me where can I get an anaphrodisiac?" "Honestly... I don't know. From what you've described to me and what I've seen. You have an S-Class aphrodisiac on you so you need at least an A class to negate most of that affects. Anything less than that will have absolutely no affect on you."
"But where do we get one?" They both sat there in earnest. Thinking of an answer until they both looked at each other at the same time and got the same idea. "Kiba!" The dog user would surely be able to find the anaphrodisiac seeing as how he had a sharp nose. "But we need a sample of an anaphrodisiac first!" "I just so happen to have one upon me." "Why?" "Incase beating the girls off with a stick wasn't enough." "Ero-sennin, you know that would never happen." "Why must you have so little faith in your teacher." "Because you give me little reason to believe."
Groaning Jiraiya picked himself up and motioned for his student to get ready. As soon as Naruto looked ready, he set off leaping from one tree to the next in quick motions occasionally glancing back to check on Naruto. Then a thought suddenly occurred to Naruto, "Jiraiya how do you know about Kiba?" A mischievous smirk appeared on Jiraya's lips. "He's a big fan of my work, in fact he was in the line that you cut in front."
"Ugh, I'm surrounded by perverts." "Get use to it kid." "Yeah, yeah." Reaching in the gates they treaded carefully, girls would burst out any second and ravage them. Specifically Naruto, but Jiraiya liked to think that they would take advantage of him as well. Sneaking past a group of women running by, they ducked into an alleyway. "Where do you think the mutt is?" "Probably in the hospital." "Why the hospital?!" "Because I beat him up earlier." Jiraiya didn't answer as a look a anger dawned on his face. "YOU IDIOT!" he roared at the top of his lungs and punching the blond genin out of the alley right into the path of 3 groups colliding. Ino on the left, TenTen on the right, and Hinata in the back. It was a dream turned into a nightmare.
"Damn it Ero-sennin!" he cried as he scaled the walls using chakra, but the girls were closing in. "I'll do this myself!" Grabbing the sample that Jiraiya had, he quickly leapt off the building and headed straight for the hospital dodging and weaving through the girls. That is... until he saw a pissed off looking Kakashi standing in front of him.
"Urgh, I hate this thing." He moaned as he daintily poked the wrapping around his ear. Naruto's yell had caused him to go temporarily deaf in the ear, the doctors told him that it would naturally fix itself within a few days. But he would have to keep the dressing on it. He had various minor injuries on his body, most were healed by the few male medic-nins still available at the hospital.
"Kami, I will sacrifice a small cute furry animal to you everyday to keep you company if you send Naruto into the room and let me kill him." Clasping his hands together he prayed. A window shattering explosion occurred, as he looked over he saw a blonde package flying into the room and landing in a heap. "THANK YOU!" whooping with joy he let loose a feral grin and jumped to attack Naruto.
While Kiba was in the air, Naruto opened his eyes. Only to see a dog-boy hovering in the air heading straight for him, "Ninja Art: Body Switch Technique!" as he replaced his body with the nearby mattress. Landing onto the springy furniture, Kiba instantly turned and leapt towards that way. Only to jump right into Naruto's fist. "What the hell was that for!" Kiba screeched as he clutched his nose, checking to see if it broke.
"I need your help!" "Why should I help you!" Kiba snarled back at Naruto. Taking Kiba by the shoulder Naruto shoved him to the window. Curiously he peered outside to see a massive moaning blob. Only to realize it was a huge orgy of girls coming straight at them. "You want to be saved by that?" "Yes!" "Hey... Naruto... are you. You know..." "What?" "You know... Gay?" Letting loose a frustrated groan, what was wrong with not taking advantage of girls?!
"Just sniff this, and find a stronger version of it." Hesitating briefly he took a small whiff. A glazed look appeared over his face, as he grabbed it and shoved it right up next to his nose. "Mmmmm heavenly," letting out a satisfied groan he contentedly smiled. "Oh yeah, that's the good stuff. I'll definitely help you find more of this stuff." Perking his nose up he sniffed the air for traces.
"Nothing, we need to move somewhere that has more open spaces." Glancing back the girls he asked "Are you sure you don't want to jump into that?" "Yeah, I'm sure." "Whatever you say." They took off to the roof with the breeze drifting by. His nose perked up again. "I got something Naruto," sniffing the sample again he raised his head and tried to trace any signs for a stronger sample. Then the strongest smell hit him.
"OH MAN!" Kiba let out a howl as he lost all control of his human senses and took off. Panicking Naruto took off after the dog-boy to keep him safe from trouble. They ran past the buildings, outside the gates, and then to a caravan where he saw Kiba tear it open. Grabbing the contents of the box he opened it and sniffed it to his hearts content. Eventually causing him to faint from overdose.
Looking back he saw thousands of females screaming for him, huge banners waved of his name, his face, his body. He saw Jiraiya running towards him, this was a now or never moment. Swiping the box from Kiba's hands he took the vial out. This was it. He would finally be rid of this curse. Raising it to his lips he chug the whole thing in one swig.
"Naruto NO!" "What?" "You're supposed to drink it!" He looked down to his hands and started to see copies and images. He grew tired and his eyes dropped down. The last thing he saw were the girls hesitating towards coming him for the last few seconds.
"It's finally over."
Closing his eyes he fell onto the ground peacefully.
-Some Time Later-
His eyes flickered open as he took in his surroundings. He wasn't in a building like he thought he would be. He was outside, in the same spot he had fallen down... who knows how long ago. He moved his hands around his body to find a shred of clothing but failed. He was completely naked. But whatever he was laying on was really soft. Turning his head he blushed and turned back up.
Sitting up he looked around, and the forest was littered with naked girls.
"I guess it didn't work."
Lying his head back down on the softness he just closed his eyes.
Groaning he opened his eyes only to be flared with white lights. The florescent glaring into his eyes and burned him, immediately he shut his eyes. "Guess you're awake." Glancing over he saw Sakura, Tsunade, and Shizune. To his right Jiraiya and Kiba stood there, a grin on their faces. "It's over, so don't you worry now."
Smiling he nodded and contently fell back into slumber.
In the morning he awoke, being told that he could leave he did so. Walking out with a large grin on his face he saw a group of boys messing around. One of them was flipping a vial up and down in his hand. Paranoia was ridden upon him, but he shrugged it off. He walked by as the group of boys went by. "I'm gonna get lucky tonight with this baby." One of the teenagers said. Naruto accidentally caught him on the shoulder as he was finally crossing by.
"OH NO! MY APHROSIDIAC!" the young man cried.
Naruto's face turned pale, "Aphrodisiac?" the blonde asked hesitantly. An awkward nod occurred. As Naruto felt a vial shatter upon his head, and liquid seep down all over his face.
-End Chapter 7-
Whew, it's the end!
After forever I finally had time to finish this. Though it took many a shower to come up with a suitable ending, where Naruto didn't willingly go for the girls. Here a bonus alternative endings I had thought up but decided not to use them. I like my ending, though you might like these more than the actual ending.
-Alternative Ending 1-
"And that's how I met your mommy." Sticking his tongue out at his daughter, Naruto picked her up and swung her around. A giggle emanating from the little toddler he put her on his shoulder and walked into the kitchen. Then setting her down he watched the girl run up to his wife.
"Mommy, Mommy! Did Daddy really do all those things?" she pouted cutely while asking the question. Raising an eyebrow the lady of the house simply whispered into her daughters ear. Her eyes widened and a sour look on her face appeared.
"You were fibbing Daddy!"
He chuckled softly.
-Alternative Ending 2-
His eyes greeted darkness when he awoke, he was back in his apartment. What a dream, or nightmare. He sighed softly and was about to get up when a feminine groan caught his attention. A girl emerged from under the sheets and smiled at him mischievously. "Hey there lover boy, ready for round two?"
He just groaned and laid back in bed.
-End The Aphrodisiac Chronicles-
These are the only two I really developed before I choose any other ones. So these are the only ones I really tried to describe. Thanks for reading. :D Hope to entertain you again sometime. As an update, I won't be posting the last part of my intermission in this. It'll be posted within "The Auction" so just put that story on alert instead of this if you were awaiting the last chapter for it.