Inspired by Kali Gargoyle's compilation of "Things a TMNT character would never say." It can be found on her Website.
Disclaimer: I do not own any persons or mutants of the TMNT world.
Author's Note: Ok it's not really a story, but I was inspired and these things kept popping into my head and I just had to post it! Shh I won't tell if you won't : - D I swear, if anyone complains I'll take it down, and try to convert it to story form, but it wouldn't be funny anymore if I did. Just give it a chance...
PS all italics from here-on-out are songs.
Things you will never hear the TMNT say:
Leo: I've decided to abdicate my role as unofficial leader. Raph, you take over.
Mike: It's ok guys, I'm full, you eat the last slice of pizza.
Raph: I have a well, thought out plan.
Don: Wonder what'll happen if I stick this fork into that electrical outlet in the wall...
Leo: Bye guys! I'm off to join the circus!
Mike: I'm sorry, I can't eat this. This pizza is way to cheesy.
Raph: I've decided never to swear again.
My sons, I believe we should take the day off and go to disneyland.
Mike: Why would you want to do that?
Splinter: I wish to converse with other giant rodents.
Raph: I think I'd like to change my favorite color to pink. Yeah!...Maybe I could get a new pink bandana to wear, too.
Shredder: No wonder no one likes to hug me at family reunions, I've got all this pointy armor on!
Don: I'm sorry, I didn't quite get all that science mumbo jumbo. Could you explain it in English please?
Splinter: Today's lesson is on the ancient art of Belching. Watch carefully, my sons, BURRRRP!
Raph: (singing in the shower) Rubber Ducky you're the one! You make bath time lots of fun!
Don: (holds up his shell cell) What does this do? (he begins banging it on a nearby table. It starts ringing) Hello? Hello? Hello! How do you answer this thing?
Casey: I've decided to give up sports and become an accountant.
Raph: (Still singing in the shower) Rubber Ducky joy of joys, When I squeeze you, you make noise!
April: Hmm...Casey Jones...Indiana Jones...I wonder if there's a family connection?
Leo: Forget all that talk about strategy, I say we just kick the shell outta them.
Shredder: Hun, I find trying to exterminate the turtles boring and much too overrated. I think I'd like to devote my life to the study of Jello. I mean, is it alive or isn't it?
Don: Oh if I only had a brain...
Baxter Stockman: (Back in the beginning of Season 1): Oh if I only was a brain...
Shredder: Stockman! Forget building all that Foot tech ninja and rocket junk. Create a hot chocolate machine with a mini marshmellow dispenser!
Hun: Maybe I shouldn't have gotten such huge tattoos.
April: Hey, Leo, do you think you could lure some more foot ninjas back to my apartment and antique shop so they can burn it down again?
Cha'rell (Utrom Shredder): Hey, this asteroid is kinda nice. A couple of bean bag chairs, a few throw pillows, a big screen TV and I'm set.
Don: Guys, I've misplaced my computer.
Leo: Let's ditch practice today and take the Battleshell for a joyride.
Mike: I'm sending all my comic books and video games to Shredder, he must be lonely on that asteroid.
Raph: Hey, Leo I'd to hear your opinion...
Don: Clearly, Mike is much more intelligent than I could ever hope to be.
Splinter: My sons, I believe that we should look into getting a pet. How about a python?
Violence is not the answer.
Leo: But it's a solution! (punches Raph)
It's too bad that we can't sit in a quiet learning environment
among other scholars our age for eight hours a day.
Don: Who the shell'd want to go to school.
Leo: (mesmorized by a lava lamp) Oooh! pretty bubbles...
Ch'rell: (looking back at earth from his asteroid): It's a small world after all. It's a small world after all...
Splinter: Who ate my cheese?
Raph: Who wants to make S'mores? We can use my sais!
April: I'm closing down my antique shop to work at Sports Chalet.
What's wrong April?
April: (sob) I dyed my hair maroon and no one noticed! (sob)
Utroms: (like the little green aliens in Toy Story) Ooooooooo!
A Hord of Foot Soldiers: (drop from a building into an darkened alley infront of the turtles. A big bass sound is heard. Bum Bum Bum) It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A. It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A-ay! (complete with hand motions)
Hun: Who wants a piggyback ride?
Maybe I should ask April out, whaddaya think?
Casey: Go for it!
#1: Hey! It's those turtle freaks.
Purple Dragon #2: Don't be rude, wave hi. Hi!