Title: The Heart is the Enemy
LJ: www dot livejournal dot com/userinfo.bml?user equals beren underscore writes
Pairing: Serge/Raven pre-Slash
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Masami Obari and Manga Ent. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Summary: Serge's thoughts on his first night with S.T.A.N.D.
Author's Notes: I'm working on a longer post final ep fic, but this sat in the back of my brain until I wrote it down. I suspect it will be one of a few short ficlets.
Word count: 591
Serge lay on his back staring at the ceiling of what, for all intents and purposes, was his new home. Things had changed so much in so short a time that he was having a little trouble dealing with it, and he fingered the collar around his neck as thoughts whirled through his head. It was only days ago that he had set out on his path of vengeance with the one clear thought in his head being the death of a man whose name he had only heard in dreams and yet it felt like a lifetime.
He had expected death, either his or Raven's or both and what he had found was life. Yet it was a strange life that he did not quite understand. What he was supposed to do was obvious; he was a killing machine, but why everything was happening was a different matter. He had been haunted by dreams his entire existence, or at least the part of it he could remember, and he had always thought the dreams were his memories of before his memory loss buried deep in his subconscious, but he wasn't so sure that was quite correct now:
Something about the way Raven reacted to him wasn't right.
Something about the way he reacted to Raven wasn't right either.
The Raven he saw in his dreams sometimes was much younger, only Serge was not old enough to have been a contemporary of the man he had met and that was what he remembered. The Raven in his mind and the Raven who commanded S.T.A.N.D. were not the same and it caused doubt in him. Something was wrong with his memory; that he had always known, but he was not sure it was as simple as he had imagined anymore.
Raven clearly knew him, but his new commander did not act like a man who wanted him dead; completely the opposite in fact. It was as if a place had been crafted for him, created and left until he was ready for it and now Raven had slotted him into it like the perfect puzzle piece. Why would a man who his memory associated with death and betrayal do that? Why did a man like Raven stir something in the depths of his soul that he was not willing to admit to yet?
Turning on his side he stared at the wall trying to banish the traitorous thoughts from his head. His mind and body had never betrayed him before, always they had been his tools, obeying his every need and yet he had discovered a weakness he had never expected. There was only once reason he had taken Raven's offer; nothing to do with saving humanity from the Virus at all. He had taken Raven's offer because the moment he had seen the man he had known he was lost.
He had attacked so desperately, heedless of the plans he had made in his mind, because something had moved inside him as his eyes first beheld Raven in the flesh. His whole life had been about one thing; revenge, and that had faltered in a moment as he had felt something else. In that moment Serge knew he had felt love, and it had confused and frightened him. He had found a place inside that knew emotion other than hate and in a second it had destroyed the man he had been.
"You are loved."
Raven's words haunted him, and in the darkness of his room Serge tried to understand them.