Elfen Lied…Just Watched the entire anime in one sitting – it was that good. Why aren't there more EL fictions out there? Oh well, at least I know I'm doing my part. I really don't know how long I'm going to make this; it all depends on reader response.

Also, I don't own Elfen Lied. I don't own Lucy/Nyuu. I don't own that cool tune. I don't own…squat.


It was dark and cold. It was the middle of summer, yet she could not stop trembling. Maybe it was because of the blood loss, she didn't know, nor did she care. The moon was bright, casting an eerie luminescence over everything it touched, making the familiar streets look alien and strange. She had just recently regained consciousness, and her head was throbbing dully with every step she took, but she was used to pain. It had been her unwanted companion since birth, and she knew how to deal with it.

Just one more thing to do, then I can end it all…

All of her life had led to this…her bitter childhood, the countless days of suffering and experimentation, the battles she had survived... the only reason she had continued on with her wretched existence was this moment. She walked toward the only person she had ever cared for with conviction. She felt that, for the first time in her life, her steps held purpose.

She found him sitting on those stone steps, looking out into the sparkling sea. He was trying to make sense of his conflicting emotions; he honestly didn't know how he felt anymore.

He could still hear his little sister, warning him against the horned girl in the train. She cried, she pushed, but he wouldn't believe her. The repressed memory replayed in his head for what had to be at least the twentieth time… the horrible splattering sound, the nauseating smell, the air had even tasted rancid. The worst thing was what he saw; Kanae's decapitated head, floating right in front of him, the eyes and mouth open wide with fear and surprise. He still cringed when he thought about it, the image that was so gruesome that it had to be hidden in the back of his mind, hidden because he couldn't face it and stay sane.

I hate what she did, how could I not? She murdered someone I loved in cold blood…I can't ever forgive her for that…she's a monster, not human…Looking back to the train ride home, Kouta felt only anger and fear for that… murdering thing. Often he had wished that it were as simple as that, so he could just hate her and be content…but other memories came rushing back…

The little girl carried around with her an air of sadness, an aura of rejection and pain; Kouta would never know all that she had gone through. When he met her that first time…she seemed so surprised when he had complimented her horns. He remembered fondly the rainy day he had snuck out to see her. He had sat very close to her, 'because it was warmer that way'. He subconsciously smiled at the memory of his adolescent advances. She had looked so cute when she blushed… The bus rides were always accompanied by a relative quiet, but it was very comfortable, not awkward at all. The trip to the zoo was still clear. She wanted to dislike it so badly, but the animals amazed her so much that she cried aloud how big or long they were. The playful fight in the stream, and the long wait for the clothes to dry afterwards…She had been so sad when he said he was leaving…all of the memories were priceless treasures.

And just recently…Nyuu.

She killed my family, but she also brought me the purest, happiest moments of my life... How am I supposed to feel? This spot had always helped him sort things out in the past, but he found no comfort in the salty air or cool breezes tonight.

She was there…he could feel her gaze on the back of his head. Kouta turned around quickly, and opened his mouth to speak. There were a thousand questions, a thousand things he didn't understand, but all of them were forgotten when he saw her. It was like something out of a dream; Lucy was standing tall and strong, just like she always had, but her expression was the softest and saddest thing Kouta had ever seen. She was missing one of the small, gray horns that had separated her from everyone else, and it gave him a strange sense of loss, he had always thought of the horns as something unique and fascinating. Her head was bleeding, a trickle of the same hue as her eyes ran down her face. For a moment, Kouta forgot about everything but the woman before him. "Your wound…"

The obvious worry in his voice brought on a wave of guilt. I don't deserve his kindness…not after the things I've done to him. "It's nothing."

They both sat in silence, both trying to articulate what they wanted to express - It was difficult. Putting all of the confusing emotions into words that made sense was one of the hardest things Kouta had ever done. Finally, he spoke, still looking out into the ocean. "The girl I played with…Nyuu too…that was you, right?" He already knew, beyond any doubt, that it was the truth; he just…didn't get it. Why would she kill all those people, do all those horrible things? She has been such a wonderful, caring person since I found her at the beach, why are all of these people after her? Why? Kouta's thoughts were racing through his head so quickly; it became hard for him to make sense of them.

Lucy knew that Kouta was asking for much more than a simple yes or no. "I was…" Her gaze stayed straight ahead, if she looked at him, she would never be able to say it. "…born in order to kill humans." Kouta let out a small gasp and turned to look at Lucy, shock and confusion plastered across his face. She still couldn't look at him. Couldn't bear to see if his face was like the others now; twisted in disgust and horror. "Five years…In five years…Most of the children that will be born…will be made my kind." Again, she heard a sharp intake of breath from Kouta. "If the world becomes like that…" Lucy paused, letting the sadness that always came with this thought sink in. "You won't be able to live here either." This was the most horrible thought Lucy could imagine. She cared more for Kouta than she ever could for herself, or anyone else for that matter, and the very thought of Kouta in pain…

Kouta's eyes widened slightly with every word that was spoken. She was telling him far more than any human should ever know. He listened carefully to her, but also studied her face. Kouta wouldn't have believed a word of anything that was being said if Lucy's sad voice wasn't saying it. The look on her face…no, the look in her eyes…everything she is saying is true…

Lucy forced herself to continue speaking, "You suddenly… appeared in front of me…in this hell." She closed her eyes and a small smile formed. "It's a fleeting dream." She could still remember seeing him there, outside the schoolhouse, with his little music box open…he said my horns were cool. The memory widened her smile slightly. "The day I would get…to meet you…" her eyes opened, and she felt that she would cry at any moment. "…I…" She turned her head away, hiding from his gaze. The horrible things I have done to him…I know how much he hates me, but I…I have to go without regrets… "…always…" she trembled slightly as she continued, the tears were far stronger than they had ever been. "wanted to apologize to you…" Lucy turned and hid her face in her hands, trying to hide the tears and shame from the man beside her. She trembled freely and continued to confess, "I only…endured because of that. Kept on living." At that moment, she was fulfilling her meaning in life and it made her both relieved and unhappy. With her apology to Kouta completed, the only thing she had to live for would be gone. At least it will be that much easier to die, she thought sadly.

She knew that he would never accept her apology, what she had done was unforgivable, but she had to look at Kouta, had to see his face, even if it was full of hate. She raised her head from her hands and turned to Kouta, whose expression was not at all expected. His huge, blue eyes were full of …pity? No, not pity, she had seen pity from a few of the scientists and the teachers, it was something that she hated. Kouta's eyes didn't have that underlying scorn that came with pity; they were filled with something…nicer. Lucy didn't dare to enjoy this new feeling…she wouldn't be able to leave if she remained any longer. And then Kouta would suffer… Lucy rose quickly and began to walk away.

Kouta saw her rise to leave, and within the span of a few seconds, every memory of the pink-haired girl rushed before his eyes. I can't let her leave like this…

"Don't go!" Before she had taken two steps, Kouta had stood and grabbed her, one arm around her neck. Lucy's eyes widened and she gasped softly when she felt his hand grip her shoulder. She didn't understand it at all.

"Why? I caused your family's - "

"I don't understand!" Lucy's question was interrupted by Kouta's surprisingly desperate cry. "Kanae…you killed Kanae and my father, so I won't forgive you…" This is what she had been waiting for… she closed her eyes tightly and prepared herself for his angry outburst.

"But…But!" Kouta's words were shaky and his voice was cracked. "If you hurt someone again I…would surely again…always regret it. Lucy could feel the grip on her shoulder tighten with each word that was said. Kouta's head was pressed against her back, and she could feel drops of moisture fall onto her pink shirt. After a few deep, calming breaths, Kouta continued, his voice now steadier and more even. "The sad girl from when we were kids…and Nyuu too."

Kouta…I was prepared to die, …don't make it harder; please don't make it harder! Lucy's previously steadfast resolve was slowly dissolving as she fought back tears in his arms.

"I love them." Kouta stated softly. He finally understood his feelings.

Lucy felt the most intense joy and the most unfathomable sadness she thought possible at the exact same moment. Her most sacred wish…the man that she loved with every particle of her being…the only one who looked at him without fear or pity…the only life that she cared about…he had just said that he loved her. And I can't stay with him…the thought hit her harder than any vector ever could. It physically hurt – to know that he cared for her, and that she wouldn't be able to stay by his side…

"Kouta…" Her hands rose up and she grasped Kouta's arm tightly, silently weeping with him.

Damn you Kouta…why couldn't you have let me go?

After she had partially regained her composure, Lucy gently pushed Kouta's arm away. Turning around and looking into his now bloodshot eyes, she felt warmth slowly spread from her chest into her cheeks. Her breathing grew quicker and a sudden desire swept over her. Only in her most magical of dreams had this kind of opportunity appeared, and she wasn't going to let it slip through her fingers.

Grabbing onto his shoulders, Lucy slowly pulled Kouta's face down within reach of her own. She closed her eyes, drew a shaky breath, and kissed him.

Kouta stiffened up when he felt Lucy's surprisingly soft lips on his, and his eyes remained wide open as she bent him further down. Kouta could feel heat engulfing every part of his body, and his eyelids slowly shut. Kouta expected to be see only darkness, but instead was met by a blinding white light.

Thoughts and feelings she didn't know existed exploded in great bursts of color and faded into dust just as quickly. The past horrors of her life seemed small and trivial now, and their ominous shadows shrank back with every passing moment. Lucy was happy; sincerely, undeniably, blissfully happy.

"I love you, Kouta…" she repeated it over and over again in her head.

They both drew back, and gazed at each other, a new level of understanding in their expressions.

"Please forget about everything." Lucy looked up at Kouta and ran a hand through his soft, charcoal-colored hair; it was the most wonderful thing she had ever felt. Her skin tingled as she moved her hand slightly lower, resting it on his smooth cheek. "I just wanted to be by your side…" All control was lost… The pent-up emotions from the previous years overflowed and spilled out.

"Nyuu…" At that moment, Kouta wanted nothing more than to kiss her again, to hold her and never let go.

"I'm sorry about all the sad memories I've caused you…" The words held honest regret; Lucy wished that she could turn back time and give him back everything she had taken.

"You too." Kouta said. His words were slowly spoken, with infinite meaning. "You too…don't you make a lot of sad memories too?" Lucy gave Kouta a little smile again; he was such a wonderful person. None of the sad memories bother me anymore, Kouta…

Suddenly, Kouta wrapped his arms around her. He held her and cried harder than he had ever before. Lucy felt safe and secure; like she had always belonged there. This was all that she had ever wanted…Her eyes closed as she timidly pressed him closer, reveling in the sensation of his touch. No one had ever held her, no one had ever attempted to touch her without malicious intentions. What Kouta was giving her, a simple embrace, was all that she had ever wanted…

Kouta just wanted her to come home with him, to stay together for the rest of their lives; to make more happy memories, to ease the old ones. They would never be forgotten, I don't want to forget, but they wouldn't hurt as much if she was there with me…

Lucy pressed her face against his neck and gently, delicately, brushed her lips across the bare skin above the collarbone. A chill ran down Kouta's spine and he held her closer, tighter, kissing her where she had kissed him, but a bit harder, with more urgency. The horned girl went flush and gasped at the marvelous sensations that she was feeling.

Lucy felt that all of the previous pressures in life were gone, and the only thing that remained was her love for him…she didn't ever want it to ever end. But, she thought sadly, It…it has to. If I remain here, than so many others will have a harder life… She knew she would have to break away sooner or later, but couldn't even imagine ending this magical unity. Tears ran down her cheeks and off of her face. She didn't even attempt to stop them.


The lights hurt Lucy's eyes, so she closed them.

There were countless soldiers, all with guns pointed squarely at her head. I have to die…just let them shoot me. It will be so much easier on everyone else…I just have to die.

"Aim!" the sound of every gun rising was surprisingly loud. I finally taste happiness, and I die right afterwards? Kouta finally holds me, and my life has to end? Lucy determination was starting to waver. Yes. I should just be happy that my last moments were so pleasant…but what could have been…Thoughts of Kouta, the inn, sleeping in the same bed as him, a kiss, an eternity of the happiness she had just experienced passed before her eyes; tempting her. What can still be…

"Fire!" Thousands, Millions of bullets shot towards Lucy; it was a wave of hot, metal death that no normal human could've ever stood against.

I don't want to die.

Her vectors shot out and blood rained down from the sky. Bullets fell to the ground harmlessly. I know it's selfish, that it's wrong, but I don't care. I don't want to die. I DON'T WANT TO DIE! One after another, the soldiers met a gruesome fate, and soon Lucy and everyone else was covered in gore.

Up on the nearby roof, the sniper went unnoticed. He remembered Lucy, he had been the one who shot her in the head after her laboratory massacre. He held up the same anti-tank gun and lined the monster's head up in his sights. The huge gun barked and he flew back from the recoil.

Lucy heard the shot, she saw the bullet, and she smelt the gun's smoke; she wouldn't be able to stop this one. She tried to duck, but she was a little too late. The shot that was originally intended to go between her eyes blew off her remaining horn. Physical pain rocked her body and colors flashed before her eyes. She felt the darkness of unconsciousness try to over take her, but she wouldn't let it. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die… She gritted her teeth let out a horrible scream of frustration and pain. The remaining soldiers never stood a chance.

Lucy had managed to limp away from the bridge to a deserted alleyway, where she lay bleeding and whimpering.

"Kouta…I don't want to die yet…" Mercifully, sleep took her.


Kouta didn't know how long it had been. It could have been a day; it could have been a week, maybe even a month since he had last seen her. The time between her death and the present was a vague blur. He could still hear her in the back of his mind, her voice clear and full of emotion…


"I… always wanted to apologize to you. I only endured because of that. Kept on living."

"It's just that…I thought it was a beautiful melody."

"Please forget about everything. I just wanted to be by your side."

"Kanae forgives! Forgives Kouta! Forgives!"

"I'm sorry about all the sad memories I've caused you…"

He kept replaying the memories in his head. There were so many sides to her. The sad little child who fought with him in the stream…the adorable, caring, clueless girl who brought him a slipper when he wanted a glass of water…the horrible monster who killed his sister…the woman that apologized years later, the woman that he loved.

He sat there, in the corner, remembering. A brown box was open in front of him, playing the sad tune that they hummed together at the beach. His head was lowered, his eyes focused on the small object in his hand. The only thing he had left to remember her by.

It was so pretty and delicate; a pink seashell that fit into his palm perfectly, like it belonged there. As his eyes traced the grooves, Kouta felt himself smile sadly. It's so small and fragile…so unlike the monster most knew her as…but, maybe it's the perfect symbol for her.

Staring down at the shell, he remembered his sister. He had loved her so much, the way she tried to hog his attention, the endless searches by the shore for pretty things, the smile she gave when he praised her. It still tore at his heart everyday that she was gone. He didn't cry on the outside anymore, but to know that he would never see her again…a part of him would be crying forever. The shell he had in his hand was so much like the one she had left. He remembered how angry he had gotten at Nyuul when she snapped it in half.

She had broken the last thing he had of his sister…because she had seen his sad face when he looked at it. He regretted the angry shouts now, knowing that she was only trying to make him smile again. He still saw it clearly: the expression she had on her face when he yelled at her; the cries she left when she ran out into the rain. He would never forget the moment that she presented the new shell to him; the pleading look in her eyes, asking for forgiveness was forever branded into his mind. He had hugged her and apologized…

Kouta could feel the sadness pooling in his stomach, evaporating up to his eyes until tears began to well up inside.

"What is it?" Yuka walked up to Kouta, with a slightly concerned look on her face. He looked up from the shell, his tears now forced back inside.

"Ah, nothing." He placed the shell back into the box, but left it open. He wanted to hear the song a little longer.


She felt that she was being drawn somewhere. Her head was down and the only thing she could see was the sidewalk, yet she walked perfectly between streets, never stopping or slowing. Her unyielding march continued for hours, and every person that she passed stared in a mixture of fear and awe.

She still had on the same clothes – the pink shirt that ended at her elbows and the black dress were still there, but both garments were torn beyond recognition. The clothing was full of bullet holes and barely covered what it needed to. Her shoes were missing, and she only had her right sock (which wasn't in very good shape, either). Amazingly, the red ribbon tied around her neck was still in perfect condition, still tied in a limp bow. This, by itself, wasn't that amazing: a homeless girl walking the streets of the town wasn't unusual. It was the blood that made people stand with their mouths wide open, it was the blood that made the children whimper and hide behind their parents.

Every inch of her body was covered in varying shades of scarlet. Her previously gorgeous, pink hair had been washed in it, leaving no sign of the previous color. It was matted and covered with leaves, twigs, and dirt; flies were buzzing around it. Her arms and legs were painted with red. Her clothes had soaked in not only her own blood, but also that of countless adversaries, and looked like the tie-dye from hell. Because she had walked so far barefoot, her feet were covered in sores, ones that were oozing fresh blood. She left a trail of red footprints behind her. Some screamed, some ran, some were rooted to the spot, paralyzed with fear. She didn't give any of them heed. She kept walking, her head down, letting her feet guide her. Eventually, no matter where she was, she would be able to find the old inn, her home. The only place she really belonged. The place where he was. If anyone had listened closely enough, they could've heard a sad, beautiful melody being hummed amid the shrieks of the bystanders.


Kouta was sitting in a chair by the back entrance of the old inn. The door was open, and light bathed his right side. The old music box could still be faintly heard from where he had left it. It didn't matter how hard he tried, Kouta couldn't think of anything but her and the fact that she was gone forever. Something was eating him from the inside, but he would never outwardly show it, because he had to be strong for his family

I have to be strong for Yuka, I have to be strong for Nana and Mayu…if I break down and become a burden on them then I'll just be a hypocrite. He told Nana that she had to be strong and help out, and she was still doing so, even after finding out that her Papa was, in fact, another girls father. She still fed the dog with a smile on her face even though the only man she had ever loved was dead. Kouta thought about that and felt ashamed of himself for being so weak. Everyone around me has gone through horrible things; Nana's Papa is dead, Mayu's parents gave me her papers without any words, so it's obvious that they never even wanted her, and Yuka…

Kouta wasn't stupid. He knew how much his cousin cared for him, he had known almost since she saw him on those stone steps. It had only been a short time ago, but after all the events that had transpired between then and now, it seemed like it happened years ago. Yuka had been slightly saddened when he didn't recognize her, and, unbeknownst to her, Kouta noticed the disappointment in her shining, brown eyes. He also noticed her shock and rage when she came back to return his house key (To say she caught Kouta and Nyuu in an awkward situation would be an understatement). Although he did explain to Yuka that he was only helping the girl get dressed, her eyes were red and puffy the morning after. And that rainy day… It was obvious how Yuka felt, but Kouta still didn't know how he felt about his cousin.

Kouta was brought back to reality by an awful smell. Dark smoke was wafting down the hallway from the direction of the kitchen. Nana and Mayu must be cooking, he thought. He knew this wasn't very fair…the two girls were still learning to cook, and all things considered, the food they had made thus far wasn't that bad.

Yuka walked in and began setting the table, smiling and glancing at her cousin out of the corner of her eye. Kouta shifted his attention from the smoke wafting towards him to the young lady in front of him. She was wearing a blue shirt with a white band around the shoulders holding it up, and a blue skirt that stopped right above the knees. Kouta did admit to himself that she was physically appealing. Her hair was glossy and lustrous, her facial features were just about perfect, and she did have a nice figure. Yuka clacked down the chopsticks and bowls, slowly, thoughtfully.

"Yuka?" Kouta noticed right away that the set up of the table was different. "There's one bowl too much."

"She would have wanted to eat too." Yuka said sadly. Kouta looked at Yuka and smiled. It made him glad that his remembered as well.

"You're right..." he smiled at Yuka as she got up and left, heading towards the kitchen.


She was getting closer. The pain that shot up her back with every step was of little consequence. Everyone who was going to run had ran and the streets were relatively empty. She could still feel the eyes on her, though; the eyes that seemed to burn holes into her soul. Looking at her from around corners, behind glass, and between blinds. It reminded her of the old days in the laboratory. The men in white coats, on the other side of the glass; giving her the same horrible stare she was receiving now.

These people were lucky. If they had dared to look at Lucy like this a short while ago, they would have all been dead by now. But I will not kill again, she told herself, If I do, then Kouta will be sad and will look at me like all the others do. He will hate me if I ever hurt another person, so I will never harm anyone again. Still, she wished that they would all just go away.

"I wonder what Kouta will think of me…" Lucy muttered, after a while. "I must not look very attractive right now." The thought gave birth to a cynical smile. "But, at least my horns are gone. The awful things that have condemned me since childhood…I wonder why I didn't break them off myself before." It was true, the only thing remaining of her horns were two bloody stumps that were covered easily by her hair. Without thinking, she raised a hand to where the horns used to be. Accidentally touching the left stump triggered an explosive pain that dropped Lucy to her knees. Trembling from the sheer severity of the hurt, she wrapped her arms around herself tightly. Tears came, but were beaten back. Not…going…to…cry over something like this… she told herself. Her nerve endings were screaming and blood suddenly shot out of the gray matter. She squeezed herself tighter, and thought about the only thing that ever brought her solace…

"Wow! Those are cool! Totally cool!"

"I love this song too, so I was really delighted."

"You too…Didn't you make a lot of sad memories too?"

"The sad girl from when we were kids and…Nyuu, too… I love them."

Lucy brought herself back to her feet and began to walk again, despite her throbbing head and feet. She felt, that for the second time in her life, her steps held purpose.


That was pretty fun. So fun, in fact, that I believe that I'll do it again (with the proper motivation of course). Constructive Criticism is greatly appreciated, but you can just tell me how awesome I am if you want, I suppose. Anyway, review! If you don't…I can't guarantee the continuation of this story. (Not an empty threat...)