Disclaimer: You know, my friend took a business course this summer, and he told me that a disclaimer can't actually stop them from suing the pants off of us. But I'm hoping that it might make a good impression.
EDIT: Okay, this website is officially screwing with my life. All of the little scene-change indicators disappeared when I posted this. So I'm going to try again to fix it. Again. Mother f'in' website….
Note: Hey guys, I'm back. I got struck down with this nasty cold this weekend, and so I spent today finishing this up. I just felt like I needed something new and fresh, and funny and cute didn't seem like a bad idea. The fact that I finally have a boyfriend might've had something to do with it. In any case, I really wanted to post something because I've been working for a while on a sort of anthology of Raveast (Raven/Beast Boy) fanfiction, and it's been fun, but I finally got around to taking down Blind, and I felt I owed you guys SOMETHING…so…here it is. I hope you like it. My Sudafed-induced mind does. And just a slight reminder - whether you like it or you think it's an atrocity, review and tell me why, otherwise I won't know how to get better. And I really do want to get better.
SHOUT OUT: The title for this story was inspired by a line in one of the fics of KTHunter, authoress extraordinaire. To you, Ms. Basham, for joining my list of the Coolest Adults Ever. (My being fourteen may kind of make the point moot, but it was the best I could come up with. Damn Sudafed…)
Eau de Wet Dog
by Mint Dragon
There was a loud squelching noise as Starfire wrung out her sopping wet hair. Robin plopped down in front of the door and began to pry off his soaked boots. Cyborg muttered about rust as he attempted to towel off. Shaking out her cloak and hanging on the hook by the door, Raven turned to glare at him.
"You smell like a wet dog."
Beast Boy frowned and pushed his dripped hair off of his forehead.
"Why are you acting like this was my fault?" he demanded.
Cyborg glanced at him sidelong. "Because it was." Robin stood up and peeled his cape off, hanging it next to Raven's.
"It was an accident!"
"You charged through three fire hydrants in a row as a rhinoceros!"
"I didn't mean to!"
Raven snorted and turned, walking down the hallway.
"Well, it stopped Overload, didn't it!" he yelled back weakly as the sliding doors closed behind her. "Uh, dude, you know you're gonna clean that up, right?" remarked a slightly bemused Cyborg, pointing at his best friend's feet. Beast Boy looked down to see a small puddle forming around him. He let out a sigh and slumped forward, hanging his head. "Yeah, yeah, sure," he muttered. "Great," Cyborg replied cheerily. "Then you won't mind tossin' this in the laundry for me, will ya? Thanks." He tossed the towel at Beast Boy's head and walked off merrily without waiting for a reply.
"I would suggest taking a shower first," Robin said, walking past him to follow the other two. Starfire floated behind him, still wringing her hair out. She stopped at Beast Boy's sullen expression, half-hidden by the wet towel..
"If it helps, I do not mind your odor. It reminds me comfortingly of the K'jorax swamplands where my sister and I played in our childhood. Without the carnivorous fulgars, of course."
"You coming, Starfire?" Robin called over his shoulder. "I'm coming!" Starfire replied quickly and the two hurried off, leaving Beast Boy sulking alone with a towel on his head in a sizable and growing puddle.
And he smelled like a wet dog.
-seventeen minutes later-
"A-a-ACHOO!" Beast Boy sniffled miserably and leaned against the tile of the shower as the steam rose around him. He ran his hand through his matted hair and stood underneath the spray of hot water, letting run across his face. He closed his eyes and sighed.
He was standing underneath a waterfall, in the midst of a steamy jungle. Water was running down his body, and he closed his eyes and let himself get lost in the soft roar of the water falling in glorious waves down the rock face. In the distance, he could hear the wind rustling through the thick trees, the buzzing of countless bugs and the frantic flapping of tropical birds in the canopy. He inhaled, and there were the scents of soft, moist earth, the sweet smell of fresh air, and her…
She smelled like smoke and flowers and incense like she always did, and he could hear the soft splash of the water as she joined him. She was standing closer now, and something about her closeness was making his blood rush and his heart pound faster, and he turned and opened his eyes and caught a glimpse of deep blue eyes and flowing orchid hair around bare shoulders and…
Beast Boy blinked, and then the illusion was gone and he was staring at the white-and-blue tiles of the bathroom wall again. He sighed and leaned back, letting the spray of water hit his chest.
'Stupid daydream…' he chided himself. And what was Raven doing there? He had no business thinking about her like that! They were just friends – and he even had to question that. 'I mean, it's pretty clear she hates my guts…' he thought sadly. But that scent – he could smell it, sometimes, when they were sitting in the living room, and she was drinking her tea, and he would glance over and he could tell when she had been meditating, because there was this deliciously smoky scent around her, and it made his blood go all funny and there was a pounding in his ears…that was the scent, right there. Soft and thick and heady, and it was clear in his mind as he opened his eyes and froze, because it wasn't just in his imagination anymore. Because when he sobered himself and took a deep breath in, he could smell her. Which could only mean that…no. She wouldn't.
He pushed the opaque glass door of the shower open.
Raven raised one thin eyebrow.
Beast Boy hastily slid the door back, leaving only a fraction of it open as he scrambled madly for a towel.
"Wha-what're you – the hell – what do you think you're doing!" he exclaimed, turning red as he grabbed the towel and wrapped it around his waist, Raven watching with a slightly bemused look on her face, leaning against the wall next to the toilet. He flung the door open again, the water still spraying against his side as he continued.
"This the BOYS' BATHROOM!"
"You," she said mildly, "got me sprayed with over a hundred gallons of freezing cold water. I thought it only proper that I return the favor." Her hand reached out to something by her waist.
A small metal something that was attached to the toilet tank.
Beast Boy's eyes widened. Oh, no she wouldn't.
He didn't have time to shout as the comfortably warm shower turned freezing cold, and he slipped, sitting down hard on the porcelain bathtub and trying in vain to shield his face from the ice-cold bombardment. When, a few minutes later, he managed to turn the water out and climb, gasping, out of the tub, Raven was gone.
And he smelled like a wet dog.
-thirty eight minutes later-
"Stupid shower…" Beast Boy muttered to himself as he dragged himself down the hallway towards the laundry room, laundry bag in tow. He continued to mutter to himself as he opened the door and pulled the bag of laundry behind him.
"Took you long enough."
He glanced up warily through his still-wet hair at Raven, who stood with her arms crossed over her chest, leaning against one of the laundry machines. She looked at him expectantly as he slouched over to one of the laundry machines and, grumbling, heaved his laundry bag on top of it.
"Don't use the bleach, and make sure you use the hypo-allergenic Tide. The normal kind makes me itch."
Beast Boy blinked as a bag of Raven's laundry, coated in black, was levitated and dropped next to his.
"And the cloaks need to be dried on gentle. Don't fully dry the rest of the uniform – leave it in for a minute and then hang them up. I'll be back this evening to pick them up." She turned to walk out the door.
"What am I, a dry cleaners?" Beast Boy asked, indignant. There was no response. He turned disgruntled back to the washing machine.
He was supposed to do her laundry now? Oh well. No sense in getting upset. He really didn't need another cold shower.
Disgruntled, he reached into Raven's bag and pulled out one of her signature blue-black leotards. A slight blush reached his face as the fabric rustled in his hands. After all, Raven had been wearing this…
Okay, maybe he needed another cold shower.
Shaking his head of perverted thoughts, he reached out for the door of the washing machine.
"Oh, by the way," Raven's voice carried back faintly through the door,
He yanked it open and a flood of water, bubbles, and articles of clothing flew out at him, knocking him down and spreading in a puddle over the floor. The changeling blinked in shock.
"Starfire's using that one."
He reached out numbly and picked up an article of clothing. A rather small, white, cotton article of clothing. With minor amounts of lace and a tiny bow. Panties. Girl's panties. Starfire's panties.
Starfire the green-laser-shooting-superhuman-alien's panties.
And he smelled like a wet dog.
-fourty three minutes later-
"Sit still, man."
"It burns, dude!"
"Well, it's your fault," Cyborg reprimanded him as he finished wrapping the bandage around his burned forearm. Beast Boy frowned. "What did you think you were doing, opening a running washing machine? With Star's underwear in it!"
Beast Boy hopped off of the medical table and rolled his sleeve back down. "Raven's laundry."
Cyborg laughed, putting back the cleaning alcohol and closing the cabinet. Together, they walked out of the med room and down the hallway. "She got you to do her laundry? You are such a dog, man. And not just the smell." Beast Boy nudged him in the side with his elbow as the cybernetic teen chuckled.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever."
The door to the common room slid open with a hiss.
Beast Boy laughed nervously, one hand behind his head, as Cyborg stepped quickly away.
"Hey, Robin! 'Sup, dude? Heh heh…you know that was an accident, right? With the laundry and stuff? 'Cause I would never do that on purpose. You know that, right? Heh? Robin? You know, the whole no-pupil thing is looking really, really, scary right now…"
"Hey, Robin? What're you – AAAAAIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"
Cyborg peered out the broken window as Robin seethed next to him.
"A little harsh, Rob."
"Chill, man, I'm just sayin'…"
Down in the lake surrounding the tower, Beast Boy surfaced with a splash, gasping for air, and began the slow swim towards home.
And he smelled like a wet dog.
-twenty seven minutes later-
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
Raven, seated on her bed, looked up from her book at the pounding on her door. A quick flick of her fingers and the door slid open. She raised an eyebrow at the sight before her. Beast Boy stood in her doorway, as wet as he had been that morning, his fists and jaw clenched.
"Raven," he said evenly, "we need to talk."
"Finish my laundry yet?"
Now growling, he stomped up to her and pointed at her face. "Now you listen to me," he said, "what happened this morning was an ACCIDENT! I didn't MEAN to get you all wet! Then you freeze me in my shower in the BOYS' bathroom, get Starfire mad at me, and then Robin throws me out a window! I don't get it! Why do you hate me!"
Raven gave him a mild expression.
"I don't hate you."
Beast Boy blinked.
"I don't hate you."
Beast Boy's hands fell to his sides limply.
"I actually do like you, you know."
His jaw dropped. Raven stood, smiled, and then reached out and patted him on the cheek.
"I just don't like the way you smell."
She flashed him a wry smile, and sauntered lightly out of the room, leaving Beast Boy standing with wide eyes and an open jaw. He reached up and touched his cheek, where Raven's hand had been. And inhaling the very Raven scent that filled the room, he smiled.
"She doesn't hate me!"
He walked out to follow her, smiling and whistling happily.
And he still smelled like a wet dog.