Challenge: Fic had to include the line "I knew I should have been a gynecologist."


Rodney McKay, Radek Zelenka, Carson Beckett, and John Sheppard sat at a table in the cafeteria. They were having a late night dinner, but Rodney was the only one of the four eating with anything resembling enthusiasm. Out of the blue, Radek suddenly said, "I knew I should have been a gynecologist."

Rodney instantly began sputtering and coughing vigorously. Carson had to reach over and pound him on the back a few times before he finally settled down. "Gah! Radek, whatever possessed you to say something like that while I'm eating!"

Radek grinned. "It is what the career aptitude test in school said I should be. And after today's session with Hermiod…"

John grimaced. "He certainly wasn't very complimentary about the science staff." The Asgard had asked to see some of the city's technology, and he didn't think they were making the best use of it. Like an alien Rodney, he had not hesitated to make his opinion known.

"Little gray bastard," muttered Radek. The Czech had taken the brunt of Hermiod's invective.

"I'm not sure gynecology would be less frustrating, lad. Women in labor can be very… inventive with their language."

"Yes, but only for a short while," replied Radek. "And the babies are so cute afterwards!" That set Rodney off again. Carson glared at his friend and repeated the back pounding, perhaps a little harder than necessary this time.

"I'm not sure I want to know what you said on your test for it to come up with gynecologist," said John, raising his eyebrows.

Radek shrugged. "Who knows about the wisdom of these things? Did you have them in American schools?"

John nodded. "I got 'high school principal'," he said proudly, grinning.

The other three men snickered. "You'd fit in quite well with the teenage boys, John," said Carson.

"Ooh, ooh, Mr. Sheppard! Can I leave school early?" asked Rodney in a falsetto voice.

"That's Mr. Sheppard, sir!" said John with mock ferocity. "Besides, keeping geeky teenagers in line isn't that much different from keeping geeky scientists in line." He pretended to ignore the face Rodney made at him.

"Your turn, Carson," said Rodney. "What career did you supposedly have an aptitude for? I mean, we know it's not medicine."

"Funny. I'd stay healthy for the foreseeable future, if I were you."

"You didn't answer the question," Rodney smugly pointed out. Carson blushed.

"Come on, we told you," added John. "And what could be further from the truth than Radek as a gynecologist?"

"Hey! I think I would make good doctor!" Radek protested.

The Scot muttered something under his breath. Then, "It said I should become a police officer,"

"Hah! You can't even shoot straight."

"Not all police officers carry guns, Rodney,"

John looked at Carson appraisingly. "Officer Beckett. It does have an interesting ring to it." Then he smirked. "We've saved the best for last. Rodney?"

"Not telling."

"Want to bet?" Carson growled.

"Do your worst. I'm not saying anything."

"We have ways of making you talk," John informed him.

"I think Rodney's embarrassed because the test came up with something like hairdresser or restaurant worker," said Radek.

"It did not!"

"So, tell us then!" the other three men yelled in unison.

"Fine," Rodney ground out. He told his friends, who were dead silent for a minute. Then the cafeteria filled with loud, raucous laughter. Rodney scowled and crossed his arms over his chest. Still, the laughter continued. Eventually he couldn't take it anymore. "What the hell is so funny about my being a child psychologist?"