Written for the Twisting the Hellmouth FFA #892 challenge.

Dating for Dummies

"Hi." Jack felt somewhat out of his depth, "Jack, Jack O'Neill." He held out his hand to the strange woman Daniel insisted was just his type, "How exactly do you pronounce your name?"

"Illyria." The blue haired woman looked at the offered hand, then shook it slowly, "I am as uncomfortable as you are: a friend suggested that I should, get out more, meet people in a non work-relateed enviroment."

"Yes, Danny said that you work for a lawfirm in L.A. Must be interesting…"

"It is of adequate intrest to me."

"Ok." Jack pulled out Illyria's chair so she could sit, "What brings you to Colarado?"

"It was suggested that I took a holiday. Dr Jackson seemed to like it here when we met at the conference, so I decided to investigate for myself." Illyria looked at the menue, "You are a Colnel in the Air Force, that is correct?"

"Um, yeah, but it's boring stuff: deep-space radar telemetry and such."

"You seem relativly happy with your job? Why else would you remain here?"

"I go where the Airforce sends me."

"And your work in deep-space radar, that requires the services of a linguist?"

"More often than you'd think…"


Jack wasn't too sure how the night was going: Illyria seemed to be enjoying herself, but it was hard to tell with someone who made Teal'c look talkative. There was something about her that seemed a little, well, odd.

But then, anyone who worked at a big L.A. lawfirm and could get away with blue hair had to be a little ecentric.

"Well, it's been interesting." Jack did he best to smile as they reched Illyria's hotel, "Maybe we could meet up again later in the week and have a cup of coffee?"

"You wish to see me again?" Illyria looked a little surprised as they stopped outside her room.

"Well, yeah: we seemed to get on…"

Illyria tilted her head to the side for a moment, than grabbed Jack's shirtcollar and pulled him into the room with more force than would be expected from a woman her size.

The door slamed shut, only to be opened a moment later so the 'Do Not Disturb' sign could be put in place.


"Jack!" Daniel ran down the corridor after his friend, catching up with him just outside the briefing room, "How'd it go? I've been trying to call you all weekend, but you've not been answering your phone."

"I was busy. Illyria is a very, very strange woman." Jack looked a little shell-shocked, "What did you say she does at that lawfirm?"

"Something involving security I think? Why?"

"Why would someone who works is security go to a international conference on ancient religions?"

"Maybe it's a hobby: she seemed very knowledgable about ancient beliefs." Daniel smiled, "But what do you expect from a woman named after an ancient demon goddess?"

"Certainly fits her personality…"

"So, how did it go?"

"I think it went quite well: we're meeting for coffee on Friday."

"Well, I'm glad you like her." Daniel patted his friend on the back "I here the General's hired some new expert."

"Yeah?" Jack shrugged as he opened the briefing room door, "Probably another bookish type, just like you…"

"Colonel O'Neill, Dr Jackson." General Hammond smiled, "I'd like you to meet the newest member of our staff, Miss Illyria Burkle."

"We've already met." Jack swallowed, "Hi Illyria."

"This should be intresting." Daniel grinned, "Can't wait for Sam to meet her…"

The End