I do not own the teen titans. I really, really wish that I did though…
I came up with this fic, when I saw my friend, Mina go without her 'precious' coffee one morning. It was one freaky episode to say the least…
One last thing: as in all of my other stories, Trigon is dead, finite, muerto and caput.
Why Tea Is A Necessity:
Raven Roth was a creature of habit.
Every morning she would wake up after a night spent meditating, sleepily stumble out of her room and make her way to the kitchen area of the titan tower, where she would drink cup after cup of tea and wait for her brain cells to awaken.
Her tea was a necessary part of her diet. Without it Raven could not function and things usually proceeded to turn ugly from there.
This morning was no different from any other for Raven, so she began her trek to her tea machine. She bumped into doors, walls, potted plants and Starfire.
Starfire gave Raven her usual rib-crunching hug and cheery greeting, "Is it not a glorious morning, Friend Raven?"
Raven opened her eyes, which were closed, and grunted in response.
"Friend Raven," Starfire called a little concerned, further extrapolating her concern by poking Raven.
Raven grunted some incoherent sentence to Starfire, who became increasingly confused.
"Forgive me, Friend Raven, but I do not understand what you are saying. May you please repeat?"
Finally Raven grunted out the word, "tea."
While most of the other titans would have jumped to the idea that Raven had received a full frontal lobotomy, Starfire, who knew Raven quite well, knew of her friend's little quirk.
Starfire nodded, finally understanding her friend's plight, lifted Raven and flew her to directly in front of the tea machine.
Raven gave a low growl, which Starfire assumed to mean 'thank you' and Starfire flew to find Robin and greet him good morning.
In the kitchen Raven continued to stumble around, this time looking for her teacup.
Raven reached into the cupboard for her teacup, only to come up empty handed.
A low snarl came from the normally composed girl.
She checked all of the other cupboards only to find them devoid of her teacup. She then started ransacking all of the available drawers in desperation. She even looked to the inside of the refrigerator, hoping against hope that in some sleep deprived state she must have place it in there.
When she was done there was a huge mess. Some of the cupboards were ripped off their hinges, the canned goods and other nonperishable stuff that were stored in said cupboards were strewn all over the floor. The only thing that appeared undamaged was the refrigerator, not that Raven really cared. Where in the hell was her teacup!
Raven took a step back with her eyes closed, confused. She backed herself into a wall and slid down to the floor. A dejected grunt was heard coming from her. It was just way to early to be thinking.
It was around this time that Cyborg was making his way to the kitchen, for his daily beacon and egg fix. He was whistling a cheery little tune.
Raven heard him, vaguely, and cursed him silently for being too cheerful. It was just too damn early for this crap. That, and she needed her tea.
Cyborg then walked into the kitchen and stopped whistling.
"Rae? What's wrong? Where you attacked," Cyborg asked, worried. He saw the mess in the kitchen and the small girl propped against a wall.
Raven opened one bleary eye and mumbled something too low to make out, even for his cybernetic hearing. Cyborg picked her up and sat her up on the counter, scanning for any injuries, "Can you repeat that again, Rae?"
Raven opened her other eye. What in the nine circles of hell was he going on about? There was no attack and even if there was there was a greater emergency at hand…her missing teacup.
Raven grunted again for Cyborg. A bit more clearly than before but still unintelligible.
"What," he asked, now thoroughly puzzled. Raven wasn't hurt and he had checked his systems, the tower's defense systems indicated that there was no intrusion. Raven glared at him, she wasn't hurt but someone was going to be if she didn't get her tea.
Raven sat before him, seriously considering allowing Rage to eat him. Not that it would have done any good…Rage needed her tea to function as well.
Finally mustering up all her strength she pointed to her tea machine. Cyborg looked at it, "You want tea?"
Raven gave him a small smile, finally getting her point across. She gave him a groggy nod.
Cyborg was by now more than a little weirded out. Seeing that there was nothing else that he could do for the dark girl, he decided to get her some tea. He looked around the kitchen and didn't see her cup.
"Where's your cup," he asked turning to his friend. Raven gave a mournful grunt and shrugged her shoulders, finally he was seeing her problem.
Cyborg then had an "AHA!" moment and realized what must have happened. Starfire had informed him of what a tea-deprived Raven was capable of a little while after he built her tea machine. At first he didn't believe that without tea Raven would not function, but now that he was presented with some really concrete evidence…
He visibly relaxed and started laughing. All of this was over tea.
When Raven heard his deep laughing she turned a glare on him that was laced with hellfire, how dare he laugh? This is serious. Cyborg saw this and quickly shut up, Raven was pretty scary when she was pissed off, and there was no point in dying over tea.
He then noticed something out of the corner of his human eye.
On top of one of the cupboard was a small teacup. Cyborg walked to the cupboard and got the teacup, wondering all the while how it got there. Raven was only 5'2, the shortest titan by far, and the top of the cupboard was way out of her reach and viewpoint. Then it hit him. After the battle with Trigon (maybe a month ago) the tower was left in shambles, much of the things inside destroyed. Whoever was cleaning the kitchen must have put the teacup up there and forgot to put it where Raven could reach.
Raven looked up at him with a smile that reminded him of a small child finding their favorite toy.
Raven felt elated. Finally, she would be getting her tea!
Cyborg went to the little tea machine, placed the teacup under the nozzle and waited for the tea to come out. After a few moments nothing happened. 'Uh-oh,' Cyborg thought stealing a quick glance at Raven who still looked dazed. Dread began to fill the normally fearless young man. Cyborg played around with the machine to no avail. There was no tea coming out of that machine anytime soon.
Raven sensed something amiss with her tea machine and slid off the counter Cyborg placed her on, to inspect the problem herself…only to land face first on the linoleum floor.
'Tea,' she thought, brain cells still not awake enough to acknowledge what had happened, 'where is my tea? And why the hell does my face hurt so damn much?'
Cyborg saw this and rushed over to help her up. He helped the girl up, for the second time this morning, and made sure that she would stand on her own.
Raven, who couldn't figure out how she got from the counter to the floor and up again, made her way the tea machine after snatching her cup from Cyborg.
She hastily shoved the cup under the nozzle, waited a few seconds for the tea to fill it up and brought it up to her lips, only to find that there was nothing there. She glared at the insides of the empty cup as though by doing so, tea would magically appear.
She repeated her earlier actions with the same result. She did it again and again and again.
Cyborg saw this and fought back the mad desire to laugh at his small friend.
Around the sixth or seventh time a large metallic hand halted the progression of her cup.
Cyborg enunciated very clearly and slowly, "Raven," once he was sure that he had her drifting attention, he gently let her to the table where she could sit down and not glare at the tea machine and probably destroy it in a fit of rage, "The tea machine isn't working right now, alright?"
As he helped her onto a chair, she gazed at him as though she were trying to decipher some great and ancient mystery.
Then the horrible realization set in, "Not working," she rasped out.
Cyborg nodded, "Yeah but don't worry. I'll make you some tea the old fashioned way ok?"
Raven gave him a slight nod, although, considering her present state of mind, Cyborg guessed that she probably didn't hear him. He turned to the cupboard that housed Raven's teapot and teas, opened it only to find the teapot broken to the point of being useless and no tea in sight. He gulped silently, Raven must not have noticed that her tea stuff was destroyed because she used the machine so often.
Cyborg sent a prayer to whatever was in the heavens to spare him from the small girl and then turned to look at the girl at the table. Raven was looking into her tea cup with a forlorn expression on her face.
"Raven," Cyborg called wondering vaguely how she would handle the bad news, "There's no tea."
Raven tilted her head to an odd angle and her gaze was a bit unfocused, "No tea," she repeated softly gazing at her cup with a now sorrowful expression.
"Yeah," Cyborg scratched his head, "First the tea machine isn't working and I guess all of your tea stuff was destroyed when we fought Trigon and his army. But don't worry I'll go into town and get you some later okay?"
There was no response coming from Raven, who was staring into her empty tea cup.
It was at this time that the rest of the titans decided arrive for breakfast.
Robin and Starfire were chatting amiably and flirting in their regular shameless manner.
Beast Boy was his normal happy self and came bounding into the kitchen only to find most of it in shambles.
"Dude! What happened? Where we attacked again?"
At that sentence Robin jumped into action, "We were attacked? Titans---"
Cyborg cut him off, "No! We weren't attacked."
It was then that Robin and Beast Boy saw Raven staring into her tea cup, looking like a lost little girl. Beast Boy then walked up to Raven.
"Raven? You ok," Beast Boy asked, waving his hand in front of her face to no avail because she didn't seem to see or hear him.
Robin was looking at Raven with worry written all over his masked face.
"Raven, Earth to Raven," Beast Boy continued calling to the empath.
"What happened to Raven," Robin asked.
"Friend Raven is suffering from the withdrawal of her favored herbal beverage," Starfire told Beast Boy with a solemn face.
Beast Boy looked at her confused.
"Rae's tea is gone," Cyborg translated.
"This is all over tea," Beast Boy said with an incredulous face and then started tittering like a school girl.
Robin chuckled a little as well, although more out of relief than humor.
Cyborg and Starfire stepped back of the blast zone, as they saw Raven slightly perk up and realize what the boys were laughing about.
Raven's brain had finally woken up and it was not happy.
An loud inhuman snarl of rage was hear coming from the small girl, scaring everyone in the vicinity. She silently levitated right in front of the two, now very frightened, boys.
"You think this is funny," Raven whispered, all the while her eyes glowed crimson forcing the two boys to take a step back.
"N-n-n-no," Beast Boy stammered out. Both he and Robin were backing away slowly clearly too afraid to make any sudden movements.
"Rae please, I was kidding," Beast Boy squeaked fearfully, now giving a terrified little laugh.
"Raven, please calm down," Robin said in a trembling tone, "It's just tea."
Suddenly there was quiet. Not a pleasant quiet to be sure, but the type of quiet that came when death was near.
Raven's eyes narrowed in fury, 'How dare he…'
Cyborg and Starfire were inwardly wondering if there would be much of the boy wonder left after Raven was through.
Both Beast Boy and Robin were enveloped in dark energy. They floated up the ceiling fan with a very loud thud, the dark energy around them wrapping them onto the fan blades and then Raven activated the fan. In a few seconds they were spinning so fast that nothing but a dark energy infused blur could be seen.
Starfire looked to Raven with some concern and reached to touch her on the shoulder. A feral growl greeted the Tamaranian.
"Friend Raven, I do not believe that Friend Robin meant any disrespect. May you please release him?"
Raven gave an angry snort and released them from her power's grasp. Long story short both boys flew to the far end of the living room with rather resounding crashes.
It was at this time that the alarm began to sound.
Everyone looked at Raven with fear as she stalked up to the titan mainframe and got coordinated out of it.
Another feral growl could be heard, "Adonis at 25th and 2nd, destroying…," Raven's eyes went wide with rage, "a tea shop," she whispered.
In a flash of energy she disappeared. The other titans looked at each other bewildered and terrified at the thought of an angry Raven.
"Dudes, I think we should follow her," Beast Boy said as he got up from the spot where he landed.
'Yeah," Cyborg added, "I don't think it would look good for our image if Raven killed Adonis."
The others nodded at that thought and proceeded to haul ass to what was sure to be a very ugly scene.
25th and 2nd Tea Shop:
Adonis was busy tossing cars into the tea shop with a smile on his face and a song in his heart.
Raven appeared from the shadows right behind him, looking as though she were the grim reaper. Which some people, namely Adonis, would soon learn was pretty accurate at the moment.
Adonis dropped the car he was about to toss when he heard an animalistic snarl from behind him. When he turned to face the noise his face turned from fearful to a smirking.
"Why hello there kitten, rrarr," Adonis said with the smirk still on his face, "Where are all of you loser buddies? Decide to dump them? If so..," his face now held a lecherous smile, "You can be my little birdie…"
Raven was restraining her urge to kill which was rising up to previously uncharted levels. Her eyes then traveled to the now destroyed tea shop. They flashed a deep crimson.
Adonis followed her eyes to the tea shop and laughed.
"Hey birdie. Pissed that I trashed that dinky little shop."
Raven's eyes turned to him, her eyes no longer flashing crimson but pupils now housing a murderous glare.
"Why," she whispered.
"'Cause that stuff is nasty and deserves to get trashed."
A bunch of shadows wrapped around Adonis and Raven. Muffled screams could be heard coming from Adonis.
A few minutes later…
The rest of the titans finally arrived.
All of their jaws dropped simultaneously as they saw the scene.
Adonis's body suit looked as though it had been melted off. He was his normal wimpy looking self, although he had two black eyes, a broken nose an most of his hair was singed off. While he normally looked that beat up after a battle, there was something a little different about this scene.
Raven was using her powers to attempt to shove his head up his butt and it looked as though she was making leeway.
The titans gave a group gulp and looked to Robin. Robin sighed, it was at times like this that he considered pursuing a solo-career.
He walked up to Raven and said in the most calming soothing tone of voice, "Hey Raven."
Raven turned to him and gave one of her more heated death glares.
Robin trembled inwardly, Raven could teach Batman a few things about giving a death glare.
"Put Adonis down," he ordered, with a low, "please."
Raven thought about that for a moment, considered the fact that Robin did help her defeat her father and decided to acquiesce, for now at least.
"What do you think about tea now," Raven asked the beaten Adonis.
"It's the greatest thing to ever exist in the universe. There is nothing else that it could possibly ever compare to," he said and then promptly fainted.
A small, elderly woman walked up to the young half-demon with a large box in her hand. She was the owner of the now destroyed shop.
The other titans looked as they were going to drag her to safety at the slightest psychotic behavior from Raven.
"Here you go dear," the old lady said to Raven handing her the box.
The other titans crowded around Raven as she opened the box. As Raven opened the box a huge smile appeared on her face.
It was a tea set, complete with a large assortment of teas.
Raven looked to the woman and the old lady smiled, "You deserve it dear. That young hooligan took tea in vain and had to be punished."
Raven solemnly nodded in agreement.
The rest of the titans and dozens of onlookers just looked on bewildered.
Later in Titan Tower:
All was very quiet in the tower when the titans arrived, sans Raven. Robin and the others had politely offered to escort Adonis to jail.
When they all entered the living room they saw Raven sitting in her spot of the couch with tea in hand.
She spotted them all, gave then a small smile and said, "What? Today you have all learned why tea is a necessity."
Wow how cheesy am I? Ending my story with the title.
Oh well I hope you all enjoyed.