Disclaimer: If I owned DMC, would I be writing a characters strike back fic?

Some explanation: Kamiya was in charge of DMC1. DMC1 was originally Resident Evil 4, but the characters and setting (Mallet) eventually got drifted so far off they made a new game. The Artbook has character sketches and somewhat chronicles the process. There's a partial artbook translation at IGN. Kamiya also supervised the writing of a novella, set post-Eva's death. Kamiya also did a Dante alternate plot in Viewtiful Joe (a game with its own plot featuring Alastor), as a self-parody of DMC. Then, Tanaka did 2 and 3, and authorized a manga covering the 1-year before meeting. There were also the 3 Dreamwave comics in America, which were essentially authorized fanfiction.

There's been a lot of confusion about what is DMC 'canon', due to a lot of the series information only being available in Japanese, and people looking at illustrations/mistranslations/incorrect information (sometimes in official magazines) and spreading rumors, thinking that things that were never true/were ways it could have gone during the process were canon. Also, some think Tanaka willfully ignored previous canon and that this invalidates the novella and the non-parody plot elements of the Dante version of VJ. This has been a running argument in the livejournal and yahoo group areas of the fandom, which I recommend looking into. Also, like a pervious commercial for DMC3, the new DMC4 trailer features Dante bashing a camera.

And onto the fic, which is set the day after the events of Beautiful Music and tthe morning after Seen the Glory.


"Guys," Dante held a hand to his forehead. If he were a regular human, this would be giving him a headache. He'd never been a regular human, but it was amazing how habit could be. "Time to go to work. I just found a camera in the alley. It was so loaded with protection spells me trying to break it fixed the color on the damned thing."

"Camera?" Trish looked up from the game of darts she was playing from the desk chair. So far, she had 12 darts lined up, the tip of each in the back of the other up to the first one, which was in the very center of the dart board. The whole thing was starting to droop down from the weight of the ones at the end, and was swaying in the breeze Dante throwing the doors open to enter the office had made. Trish had been biting her lip slightly as she aimed, trying to break Nevan's current record of 21 darts stuck together without missing, the line breaking, the darts breaking, or the board breaking from the darts being thrown with too much or too little force.

"Camera." Dante nodded. "It's a device that works like a scrying target, which records scenes…"

"I know what a camera is, Dante." Trish said, peeved. She tossed the dart idly over her shoulder, ricocheting it into the box where they stored them. "Why would anyone put one in the alley? Aren't they expensive? And protection spells are really expensive." Her eyes narrowed. "You broke something expensive that belonged to someone else, and we're going to have to pay for it? Nevan's going to kill you." She said gloatingly.

"Nevan's not going to kill Daddy!" Ivory said angrily, manifesting from out of Dante's holster. "Daddy beat Nevan even if we were useless…" her lip wobbled.

"Not your fault she had an anti-gun defense, Ive." Dante said quickly.

Ebony also appeared and patted her sister on the shoulder. "Anyways, Nevan likes Daddy! Nevan' and Daddy, standin' by a tree…"

Ivory, giggling, joined in for the, "P-L-A-Y-I-N-G."

Trish burst out laughing.

Dante wished he could claim he had a headache. If they thought you had a headache, you got to go lie down in a dark, quiet room. Without women laughing at you. Why had he given his guns female spirits! Oh. Yeah.


When they paused in their giggling at each other, Ebony looked at Dante and asked, "Did our new game get here yet?"

"Oh, yeah." Dante pulled it out of one of his trenchcoat's deep pockets. He'd been on the way to the mailbox to see if it was in. Well, now that they had it, they would quit wondering when it would get here, at least. "Here you go." He looked at the box. "Viewtiful Joe? VF… Girls, you told me you were getting a first-person shooter for the practice."

Ebony and Ivory looked innocent. He handed over the box. He'd deal with them later. They took it, yelled thanks, and ran out of the room before he changed his mind. Damn, he hoped they hadn't woken Lady up. She was still conked out on the upstairs couch after last night's party, and Hunters woke up easy. Lady with a hangover was not a pretty sight.

Turning back to the still-smirking Trish. "Trish, cameras don't usually have protective spells. That camera was put there, to spy on us."

Trish frowned, worried now. "Mundus?"

Dante shrugged. "He has enough cultists, but I doubt they'd have the brains. Could be them, could be some other devil's cultists, could be a government, could be the media and then we're in trouble."

Trish sighed. "You said, if they find out we're devils and demons, most people won't care that we save the world?"

"Gotcha." Dante nodded. "And I don't want to close up this shop, I get told about too many demon attacks this way. Makes it easier for them to find me."

Trish sighed long-sufferingly. "I know, you explained all this to me already."

Dante rolled his eyes. "Anyways, call Matier and ask her to ask the government of Vie du Marii to enquire through diplomatic channels, okay? I'll tell Nevan, and she'll do the rest when she gets back from Geneva tonight."

Trish nodded, finally getting that this was serious instead of, well, Dante being Dante.

Dante went to fix himself an omelet, still worrying. The last time he'd found a mysterious camera had been before he had even picked out a name for his first shop. About… sixteen years ago. Amazing how time flew by… He'd smashed it, but then things had gotten so busy, he'd never looked into it.

Well, he'd have Nevan look into it. If yesterday had been any indication, he definitely needed to find her more to do.

And he needed to find more for her to do so that she would be spending her time doing it and avoiding situations like yesterday's not-almost-a-make-out-session. The fact that said make-out session had happened right after her finishing something she was kind enough to do for him, bringing them into close proximity, was not a factor. Nor was he hoping it would happen again.

…and Matier and Lucia had to be wrong about him now being the rightful King of Hell, and hence needing a cathedral to be built in his honor, but he knew he damn well was the uncontested King of Denial.