Disclaimer: If I owned Devil May Cry, we would know if sorceress!Eva is still canon. (According to VJ and apparently the novella, she resurrected Dante during the attack that took her life, as well as Trish in DMC1.)


"Muahahaha!" Ivory giggled maniacally, pressing buttons as fast as she could shoot.

"Fear us!" Ebony made a victory sign. "Take that, Phantom!"

Ivory put down the controller when the boss battle finished and they grinned, watching the spider be squished. Daddy was so cool!

"There's more than one gun slot, you know." Alastor pouted. "And I did all the work in that battle, not you!"

They stuck out their tongues. "You're just jealous because Daddy always brings us when he goes hunting, and you get left behind most of the time."

"Because you're a baby," Ebony added helpfully.

"I'm two thousand-something! I am not a baby! You're the babies!" Alastor shook his fist at them.

"Daddy only uses you at all because of Nevan because you're immature and try to 'warn' him when he's trying not to let demons know he knows they're there, like they put in the game. And we're less babies than you and we're only 21." Ivory stuck out her tongue again for emphasis. She and Ebony then looked at each other, giggled, and stuck their tongues out at Alastor again.

Ebony started playing, it was her turn.

"Let me play! I'll show you!"

"We let you play. You died really easily and made Daddy look weak." Glares.

Ebony reconsidered. "Go fetch Ifrits so they can see the bit with them and then we'll let you play. On Easy mode." Twin grins.

"It's Ifrit, not Ifrits. I don't get it. You don't call Beowulf 'them' and he's gauntlets too. And …foot gauntlets."

"Ifrits is Ifrits 'cause Ifrits is Ifrits," Ivory explained wearily. "There's Ifrit who is all Burn! Burn burn burn!" she waved her arms. "And Ifrit who sleeps in the furnace and keeps the shop warm. Kill the puppets!" she turned quickly and cheered Ebony on.

"Puppets are evil!" Ebony agreed.

"But he's only one demon!" Alastor insisted and was ignored.

"Not as evil as clowns, though," Ivory pointed out.

"Clowns are evil! Dancing around instead of holding still so we could shoot him! Meanie!" Ebony took it out on the puppets.

Lady and Trish lounged on the couch a few yards back from the huddle around the TV. "Damn right clowns are evil," Lady nodded. "They said they're releasing the game version of Temen ni Gru four years after this comes out?"

Nevan nodded, leaning on the back of the couch. "That's the deal, sugar, so it looks like they had to go through the whole process instead of being told what to do by us."

"Five years, and then he-who-is-not-my-father will be the laughingstock of the whole world. I can't wait." Lady grinned, and drank her orange juice. "Too bad with the cartridges enspelled, no one will make the connection. But if people found out…" she shrugged.

Nevan grimaced. "And they knew it too. I could have raped them at the bargaining table if they hadn't held that over our heads. As it was, we made out like bandits. Royalties, come to Mama." She grinned, little fangs showing just enough Lady had to work to ignore them. Dante was… Dante, Lucia and Matier were mostly human, Trish was… an honorary human, she could ignore the rest of them, but the succubus just pushed her buttons for some reason.

And that reason wasn't that Nevan seemed to have caught Dante on the rebound… sixteen years after she'd rejected him. She'd had to… it wouldn't have worked out, they both had missions of vengeance, she didn't want to shatter the fragile truce they had had then before it turned into friendship…

But here she was, over 30, and even if she didn't look her age… she was going to end up an old maid. This wasn't a safe profession, if she retired they'd come after her, look what had happened to Dante's family…

Look on the bright side. At some point Dante's going to make a Virgin Mary joke and then you can shoot him in the head again. Just like old times.

"I think the games'll be a good thing, and not just for the money," Lady said to continue the conversation. "They show how powerful demons are, how many shots it takes to kill one. How incredible you have to be to take them out. It should hopefully cut down on amateurs thinking they can do our job without proper training first." She'd trained for months…

Trish nodded. "Generally, at least a couple people have to die before they call us in."

"Same with me." Lady nodded.

Nevan sighed. "I still wish I'd managed to get them to re-do the Vie du Marii game. Poor Lucia…" she sighed. "Chick's had a hard knock life, that's for sure, sugar."

No one bothered to mention that they'd all had rough times too. Didn't mean it was okay for anyone else to suffer. That was why they were in this business. "Cheapskates." Lady snorted. "It wouldn't have cost that much to re-do the game to make it suck less."

They all stared at her. Lady blinked. "What?"

"You said suck, sugar." Nevan looked amused.

"I use hell and damnation," Lady pointed out.

"Yeah, those are technical terms. What's so strange about her using bad language?" Trish asked. Practically everyone she'd met so far who hunted swore like crazy, and a lot of the clients too.

"You've come a long way from Miss Pure and Innocent," Nevan congratulated her.

Lady rolled her eyes. "Ha ha. But they shouldn't make a 'priestess' be in a game that makes her 'god' look bad. Poor girl."

Poor girl with many knives, bombs, and training (theoretical, so far), in a myriad of ways to perform human sacrifices. Too bad she was a good girl (Lady remembered being a good girl) and listened to Matier, otherwise that game would have been revised damn fast.

Yes. She thought damn. Making something that showed devils and demons in a favorable light was luring people onto the path of unrighteousness. A damnable offense literally.

But who the hell cared? She drank her orange juice. "The Temen ni Gru game should be great, though. I can't wait to see what they do with the bits you told them about, Nevan. Poor Dante, I can't wait to see his face when people around the world see him jammin' and using my bike like a baseball bat. I'd almost forgotten what a brat he was back then." She grinned. "Almost."